Rate My cold Email
Please help me out, with rona virus going around figure i’ll try be somewhat productive and find something to make my summer useful. Hello insert name,
My name is Name and I am a freshman at [B1G School] studying finance. I am very interested in the financial industry, particularly in wealth management and the energy sector. I am a member of the financial services club and real estate clubs at my school and have attached my resume below.
In a nutshell, I have a 3.7, run a startup, act as treasurer of my fraternity, and have a strong desire to learn about the industry.
I am looking for a summer internship opportunity where I could shadow someone for an extended period of time and understand
what a job in the financial industry looks like. If you don’t have an opportunity, maybe you would be able to chat about how you got to your position?
Regards,
[Full Name]
C+. End with I've attached my resume.. Also never say this "If you don't have an opportunity, maybe you would be able to chat about how you got to your position?".. Good luck
You should not mention that you’re looking for an internship. Yes, they obviously know what you’re after, but it makes it very difficult to build a relationship with someone if from them get go you’re asking for a job.
I've actually heard the opposite. Received advice in the past that it's better to get to the point when you're looking for internships as a freshman/sophomore. Also it's fairly late in recruiting for this summer and an aggressive take on recruiting would be a much better approach.
I think that depends who you're emailing. If it's the head of a small shop, maybe go straight to the point. Probably not so much for an Analyst/Associate. Though I guess OP's email leans being directed at the former.
D+.
Dear insert name here,
I hope this message finds you happy and healthy. My name is insert name here, and I'm a freshman finance student at [Insert School Name Here]. I hold a 3.7 cumulative GPA and I co-founded a [Industry Name Here] startup venture that I operate at school. I [Insert a Brief Reason Why You're Interested In the Financial Sector], and given the indefinite closure of my University, I have much more free time to learn about these industries.
I discovered your profile on [Insert Wherever You Found Him/Her], and I was particularly impressed by your [insert something you liked about his profile, maybe a deal he's been on]. As a fellow [Insert Commonality Here, e.g. "fellow University student"], I'd be remiss if I didn't reach out to learn from your experience. I'd love to schedule a phone conversation to learn about the industry.
Warm regards,
[Insert Your Name]
Do people really send emails like this? (Most parts are polite with a few straight hypocritical)
This email is way too long, no one wants to read these huge blocks of text just get straight to the point, exposition can come from your end on the phone call not the email.
Disagree - it's better to give the person information up front so he knows you are worthy of his time... if you tell him nothing then what incentive does he have to contact you?
this is very useful for me also, thanks
.
Tempore quibusdam iusto praesentium dolorem ipsa aut. Aut dolores repellendus hic dignissimos. Ut error nostrum quasi minima ipsam natus.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...