She is 27 years old. She's slept with more than 30 men. Is this a red flag?

Had this debate with my friend.

Connected with a girl who I ended up sleeping with. She lives in NYC, so I'm thinking 30+ men for a girl living in a large city such as NYC is no big deal.. especially at her age. I've met girls 20-22, that are in the same range. To me, those girls are definitely slutty.

But, at 27, you cant really expect a girl to be stuck at 7-10 guys - can you? I dont intend to date this girl and we have since parted paths. I'm just wondering if sleeping with more than 30 guys at her age is a red flag..

girlfriend slept with too many guys

How many is too many? Well the opinion on this varies. Indeed, It is very much a matter of personal preference...
from certified user CorpFinHopeful

Probably not a red flag, it's 3.3 occasions a year since she turned 18 which isn't counting college years or the probability that she didn't in fact wait until turning 18. On the other hand it also isn't counting medium-term relationships. Who knows, this is totally a judgement call.

It's all a matter of perspective.
from certified user DeepLearning

For one night stands, idgaf how many dudes she's slept with for the most part and might rather have a girl who is more experienced and would be willing to do more crazy shit. For a long term relationship though, i would definitely prefer a naive girl, since you can work up to the crazier stuff (and more) over time, without knowing she gets more dick than a urinal

love and ladies in the big city
from certified user rufiolove

Lol... If she's attractive then that zip code is going to be the norm, not the exception... You may want to rethink your expectations, especially if you're dating in a big city. I don't subscribe to judgments on this issue because I think it's stupid and a double standard. But what I can tell you from experience is that your outlook is a bit naive...


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Comments (70)

 
May 12, 2014 - 9:43am

not necessarily:
maybe she slept with 30+ men for medical reasons
U NVR NO

happy to give advice; no asking for referrals please
  • 7
 
May 12, 2014 - 9:50am

How do you have this specific and precise data in the first place...

"I do not think that there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature."
 
May 12, 2014 - 9:50am

Is a company with projected $10bn in cash flow for the next 10 years a good investment for a PE shop? Why can't we say for certain? That's right - we need context. Which PE shop? Mega fund or tiny place with 2 LPs?

Similarly, if you've got game and can deal with a girl who's probably way better in the sack than you, go right in there. But if you're the guy who's had one girlfriend in his life, chances are good that you shouldn't date or get emotionally invested.

in it 2 win it
 
May 12, 2014 - 9:55am

Lol... If she's attractive then that zip code is going to be the norm, not the exception... You may want to rethink your expectations, especially if you're dating in a big city. I don't subscribe to judgments on this issue because I think it's stupid and a double standard. But what I can tell you from experience is that your outlook is a bit naïve...

 
May 12, 2014 - 10:04am

It is hard to say and I dont slut shame at all. But like the girls I mentioned before, If you're 21 or 22 years old, and you've been banged by more than 30 dudes, then thats slutty.

Array
  • 2
 
May 12, 2014 - 10:23am

CuriousAnalyst:

It is hard to say and I dont slut shame at all. But like the girls I mentioned before, If you're 21 or 22 years old, and you've been banged by more than 30 dudes, then thats slutty.


You just contradicted yourself. And "slut shaming" is a stupid term for stupid people.
heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/
 
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Feb 19, 2016 - 10:54pm

CuriousAnalyst:

It is hard to say and I dont slut shame at all. But like the girls I mentioned before, If you're 21 or 22 years old, and you've been banged by more than 30 dudes, then thats slutty.

You literally just said you "didn't slut shame at all" and then followed it with the most basic, and obvious example of slut shaming.

 
May 12, 2014 - 10:11am

No comment. The last time I wrote about sluts I got deluged with shit.

30 doesn't seem particularly high, but my sense is that if she's telling you 30, it's probably a lot more.

 
May 12, 2014 - 10:27am

Thank you.

I think I've said all there is to say already. People don't like the double standard, but if you want to learn more about why it exists, just Google 'Human Matng Strategies'. There is a biological basis as to why the dominant mating strategies differ between men and women. In the end, we're just animals.

EDIT: you completely changed your post, but I left my answer here anyway.

 
May 12, 2014 - 10:20am

Do you guys ask women how many guys they've slept with? How does this come up? Even if she asks me, I won't return the question because I can't picture a situation where I want to know.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/
  • 2
 
May 16, 2014 - 12:40pm

GoldenCinderblock:

Do you guys ask women how many guys they've slept with? How does this come up? Even if she asks me, I won't return the question because I can't picture a situation where I want to know.

This. I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answer to. I also don't answer such questions.

 
May 12, 2014 - 10:33am

Golden,
You can label a girl a slut, but it doesnt mean you have to view her as less of a woman if you think she is one.

Array
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May 12, 2014 - 10:37am

yes it does

I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
  • 2
 
May 12, 2014 - 10:42am

CuriousAnalyst:

Golden,

You can label a girl a slut, but it doesnt mean you have to view her as less of a woman if you think she is one.


Fine, makes sense.
And, by the way, I'd rather not date a girl who's seen more dick than a urinal. But do you guys really want naive girls? They suck in the sack and are often clingy. And get weireded out by stuff like choking...
heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/
 
May 12, 2014 - 10:44am

bro
TMI

happy to give advice; no asking for referrals please
  • 1
 
May 12, 2014 - 10:51am

For one night stands, idgaf how many dudes she's slept with for the most part and might rather have a girl who is more experienced and would be willing to do more crazy shit. For a long term relationship though, i would definitely prefer a naive girl, since you can work up to the crazier stuff (and more) over time, without knowing she gets more dick than a urinal

 
May 12, 2014 - 10:35am

don't ask. don't tell.

/thread

I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
 
May 12, 2014 - 10:44am

TonyPerkis:

don't ask. don't tell.

/thread

Agree.

I don't perceive it as red flag considering age and living in a large city. But if you're posting about it on a forum, then it's probably a red flag for OP and he is uncomfortable with it, whether he realizes it or not.

 
May 12, 2014 - 12:21pm

Tiger832:

TonyPerkis:

don't ask. don't tell.

/thread

Agree.

I don't perceive it as red flag considering age and living in a large city. But if you're posting about it on a forum, then it's probably a red flag for OP and he is uncomfortable with it, whether he realizes it or not.


All of this. If a girl is single and casually dating it's pretty reasonable to have sex with 5 plus people a year and that adds up. I would never commit in any real way to a guy I hadn't slept with because if the sex is bad than what's the point. I don't care how well I get along with a guy, of the sex isn't above average than I don't want to date that person. If you hold girls to a low number than you're running the risk of being with women who potentially don't value sex that highly, and no one wants that.
 
May 12, 2014 - 10:37am

This is exactly the kind of discussion I would expect on here.

 
May 12, 2014 - 10:52am

I guess she's really nice.

Regular on the F-train kind of nice

  • 1
 
May 12, 2014 - 11:30am

CuriousAnalyst:

I rawdogged her :(


You rawdogged a random? Good job, retard.
heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/
  • 2
 
May 12, 2014 - 11:33am

It's only a red flag if you have a bad rash the next day

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."
 
May 12, 2014 - 11:45am

I for one am getting tired of all of the "Did I hook up with a slut" threads. You are looking for a conformation feedback loop that you don't gravitate towards whores. News flash. You do. No one cares.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
May 12, 2014 - 11:47am

Depends, I could look at it two ways:

1) I'm her age, and I've slept with a little under 20 girls. Since girls generally pair with men older than them, it seems like she has around the same pace I do. I certainly think I'm capable of being in a long-term relationship (and I currently am in a long-term one with a girl I'll probably marry, and I'm extremely happy).

2) That said, the girls I slept with and didn't date medium or long-term, are generally "lower-quality" than the girls I do date. I think the question arises of, why did she sleep with so many guys and not find someone to date long-term? Is she emotionally unstable or have some baggage, or was she the one who chose to not date them?

Should could just have gone through a multiple year phase like I did in which random hook-ups were fun and she wasn't looking for anything serious...I think that's totally fine (actually great, I love experienced girls, they're amazing in bed...but a lot of guys are insecure about this, and it's okay if you are). BUT, It's also possible she's scaring all these guys away, which is a bad sign.

 
May 12, 2014 - 12:03pm

Yes, it was dumb to raw dog her. But what girl isnt random? You never truly know a girl, and you just said earlier you'd never ask a girl how many guys she's slept with. So lets say you are dating this girl I raw dogged for 1 month or so. You dont know shes banged 30+ guys because you said you dont ask. Is she no longer "RANDOM"? So you raw dog her, dont you? Seems like you are a retard too

Array
 
May 12, 2014 - 12:14pm

CuriousAnalyst:

Yes, it was dumb to raw dog her. But what girl isnt random? You never truly know a girl, and you just said earlier you'd never ask a girl how many guys she's slept with. So lets say you are dating this girl I raw dogged for 1 month or so. You dont know shes banged 30+ guys because you said you dont ask. Is she no longer "RANDOM"? So you raw dog her, dont you? Seems like you are a retard too


Firstly, yes, I am a retard too many times over and for various reasons, including that one. Ideally, I'd wait until I'm familiar enough with her to be reasonably certain she's clean and that she cares enough for me at that point that she would tell me if she wasn't. And that she knows me well enough to not rule out the possibility I may literally kill her if she knowingly infected me with some shit.
heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/
 
May 12, 2014 - 2:55pm

damn 30 is alot.
funny post, At first I was oh wow she's displaying alot of trust to to you by saying 30. Then someone mention girls always low ball their #'s and then I was like DAMNNN 50?!

 
May 12, 2014 - 2:59pm

LeverageMill:

damn 30 is alot.

funny post, At first I was oh wow she's displaying alot of trust to to you by saying 30. Then someone mention girls always low ball their #'s and then I was like DAMNNN 50?!

Are you 16?

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/
 
May 12, 2014 - 5:08pm

BankersGoBonkers:

Videos or it didn't happen.


I tried this once during doggie and took a pic with flash on accident.
heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/
  • 1
 
May 15, 2014 - 2:21pm

It depends upon your tolerance level. If you are a religous person you might want to think about dating a girl that has only one or no men under her belt. I realize that in today's world that aspiration is growing ever more ridiculous and unrealistic, but it is always possible. If you are someone more accepting then, you might ask yourself "how many women have I slept with?" If it is comparable to her numbers then you are both the same type of individual. Wouldn't be a green flag to move forward with that thought?

 
May 15, 2014 - 10:29pm

30 partners seems high, even at 27 imo. Did this chick never hold down a relationship? A woman's beauty peaks around 22-25 and during these years most hot girls are pretty selective. It's one thing to lick her face, and another to poke your sword in her baby maker.

After 30+yrs a woman's attractiveness begins depreciating fast and she will allow more dudes to bang her, and in diff positions. Her morality and sense of self fades. I'll also add that women become hornier at this age. Maybe it's because their fertility cycle is closing... its science?

 
May 16, 2014 - 6:21pm
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