It was the summer of 2014 when I first met her. We were both interning in the city; she was a year older and I met her when my friend, who was her roommate of 2 years, introduced us at a bar. Initially, I wanted to get to know her better so she could help me get a job - I wanted to line up an internship for next summer at her bank. We met up a couple more times that summer and into the school year to smoke and chat. At first it was just about finance but as we became friends, we talked about everything. During that fall, I invited her to a formal at my fraternity and we ended up hooking up and I spent the night at her apartment. After that, we were inseparable for a few weeks and started dating about a month later. The spring of 2015 was one of the happiest times I can remember. We walked to class together, went to the gym together, watched TV together and went out together. During spring break, we went on a trip together and I met her parents at her house. As graduation for her approached, we had the talk. I still had another year to go of school and she was going to start full-time in the city (about 4 hours from school). We decided to see how the summer would go before making any decisions.
In the summer of 2015, I was obsessed with finding a job. I hated my internship, I was working into switch to M&A. Given that she was at an EB, I kept asking her to put me in touch with people to network with. She helped me as much as she could and in the end, I was able to get the EB offer that I wanted so badly. But in August, she broke up with me. She said I was too focused on getting a job and I had ignored her for the entire summer. It was true, I had made her practice interviews with me rather than have sex. I went back to school with a heavy heart despite having what I wanted. I knew I blew it and I didn't expect to hear from her again.
Three weeks later, she called. She told me she was sorry and she understood what it was like to want a job so badly. She told me about how much she missed me and how she would do anything to have me back. I thought about it for a day and called her back, telling her yes. For the fall of 2015, I was as happy as I was in the spring of it. I took a 4 hour bus ride down to see her every other weekend and we took advantage of every second we had together to explore the city and try new things. That fall was when I began to think that she was who I wanted to marry down the road.
The spring came and I got closer to graduating. My office was pretty close to hers and I planned on getting an apartment just a few blocks from hers. We were so excited and life was going to be perfect. She met my family during graduation and all went well. For her birthday, I drew a portrait of us that she hung immediately in her living room. For the Fourth of July weekend, we went away to her condo on the shore and had a blast.
Since we're both analysts, we had very little time once I started work. Some nights I would leave the office at 5am and other nights she would. It was really only on the weekends that we saw each other. I knew I had let work take priority over her last summer and I swore I wouldn't let it happen again. And I didn't. Whenever we were together and she talked about how great some wine would be, I'd go out and get some and pick up some groceries for her on the way back too. I planned dates, stayed in when she wanted to stay in and went out when she wanted to go out.
But it seemed like we just kept fighting more. She started to pick at everything but I stayed patient with her. And it looked like things were getting better, she made plans for our two year anniversary, I invited her to my firm's holiday party and we made plans for a winter ski trip after Christmas. On the weekend before Thanksgiving, we went on a weekend trip to Chicago to visit some college friends. We got into a fight one night of the nights but made up the next day.
We were on different flights back and when we got to the airport, she told me she thought we should take a break. It was one of those, it's not you, it's me kind of talks. She said she just wasn't ready for a relationship right now, she was tearing ours apart and she needed to be alone to figure her life out. Also back in the summer, she had accepted a PE offer in DC starting in summer 2017 and I had completely supported her taking it. She said she didn't know if she really even wanted to do PE anymore and only ever wanted it because it was what she felt like was expected of her and needed time alone to figure it out. I felt blindsided but said sure to the break. I waited with her for her flight and she cried the whole time telling me how much she would miss me.
I think I was less upset initially because I thought it would be a short break and she would be back in three weeks like before. But the weeks turned into months and I became more and more depressed. I was getting crushed at work but I didn't mind it because I didn't know what I would do if I had free time. I tried to take my mind off of her and went on a few dates but they all fizzled out after the first one. I finally couldn't handle it anymore and I emailed her in February of this year. She responded telling me she shouldn't have misled me to think this would be a short term break and she was still figuring things about. She didn't want the PE job anymore and is busy looking for a corpdev job in NY but still needs time alone.
I just got a PE offer in Boston and don't know what to do. I still miss her every day and find myself thinking about her often even though it's been nearly 6 months. I have trouble moving on because I feel like I'm waiting for her even though she told me that I should live my life and not wait for her. There were some bad spots with her but I still remember the good times of the spring and fall 2015 and can't help feeling that we could get those days back. Also I don't know anyone in Boston and don't really want to move there. I don't know if accepting the offer (start date is summer 2018) would help me move on or if it would just make me feel even shittier. Honestly, I don't even know if I want to do PE either, I think maybe I only ever wanted it because I thought it would impress her. I still do think that we're a great fit and don't really understand what happened. Her friends have told me that she talks about me to them and she tells me about how she loves me in the emails we swapped - it's that shred of hope that really fucks with my head
And if you're reading this - yeah, I can't believe I'm going on WSO for relationship advice either