Alright bois, it's about that time again. If you haven't had it happen to you already, your high school friends, distant relatives, uber drivers, wait staff, and whatever else normies you associate with will likely be reaching out soon. Why will they be reaching out you ask? Well, to give you stock advice of course! As equity markets reach all time highs for no apparent reason other than those thiccy stim checks starting to hit, and of course thanks to Our Lord and All Powerful Savior Joey B, everyone is back on the trader bandwagon. The tech stonx are ripping. The weed stonx can't be stopped. The small caps are juicing. Even the boomer stonx are fully torqued. Big Ramy just won the fcuking Olympia and he is a Certified Pump Pro ©. Who would have ever known? Anyway, when can we speculate this rollercoaster coming back down? Will it be when Papi Musk or Daddi Ackman say something on TV? Will it be when ~The Donald~ has to leave office to be replaced by Our Lord and All Powerful Savior Joey B? Who knows!! With Janet "Juice Queen" Yellen back in the cut, will there every be another recession again??? My portfolio feels as swollen as my pecs after 15 sets of bench on international chest Monday and I seriously don't don't want this pump to fade. Everyone knows that after stupid juicy inflation like this, your breastys are going to be lil tender veal cutlets tomorrow - BUT everyone ALSO knows that come next monday, the pump will be just as frothy. Summary: sell it all, buy back in next Monday. You're welcome.
Jan 10, 2021
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