What are helpful tips for office parties?

scorpio20's picture
Rank: Baboon | banana points 154

With the holidays approaching, office parties are becoming increasingly prevalent. CNBC states that last year, almost two-thirds of organizations held an end-of-year holiday party open to all employees. This means that you could be finding an invitation to an office party very soon.

But, while these events are supposed to be fun and relaxed, there are definitely certain ways to work an office party to your advantage. One way is to decide beforehand who you want to engage with - possibly the head of a department you're interested in switching over to? Whatever the case, this kind of social situation is the perfect opportunity to further your career networking.

What tips do you have for working office parties? What should you do - and what should you absolutely not do?

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Comments (52)

Dec 6, 2016

Office parties cannot turn into a disco club or such kind. And it should be organised in such a way that everyone enjoys and feels a comfort zone at the event. Fun with limit is what all it should be.

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Dec 6, 2016

Mods, the HR Wet Blanket Bot needs to have its spelling/grammar revamped.

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Dec 7, 2016
jayashree:

Office parties cannot turn into a disco club or such kind. And it should be organised in such a way that everyone enjoys and feels a comfort zone at the event. Fun with limit is what all it should be.

Ugh.

Dec 6, 2016

Don't get drunk.

Dec 6, 2016

Don't get too drunk.

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Dec 6, 2016

Two girls, one snake, and no condoms.

Dec 6, 2016

people still wear condoms? I mean if a girl really wants you to then what I do is just cut the ring at the end off and use that, so in the dark it looks like I have one on.

Dec 6, 2016

So it's kind of like a DIY c*ckring?

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Best Response
Dec 6, 2016

assuming you're there purely to improve your career prospects, here are the keys to the kingdom young padawan.

  1. THE PREPARATION: is this a holiday themed party? is it business casual? business casual is hard to fuck up, but if it's holiday themed, don't wear a naked santa sweater or the one with the two reindeer fucking, don't wear a christmas suit, be a little more toned down.
  2. THE BOOZE & THE FOOD: nurse your drinks, and get things you can handle. assuming it's a full open bar, stick with one thing, do not take shots, and drink SLOWLY. don't be the guy that's double fisting bud lights or rum & cokes trying to talk to the CEO. whatever you like, vodka soda, scotch neat, craft beer, red wine (just check your teeth periodically), whatever. don't overthink it, just drink SLOWLY and do not get hammered. do not be stuffing your face the entire time. eat beforehand, and just graze the appetizers, you're there to further your career, not get a free meal.
  3. THE CONVERSATION: stay away from the forbidden topics of sex, religion, and politics. also, don't voluntarily bring up work. talk about sports, current events (again no politics), holiday plans, what their kids are up to, and let them drive the discussion. you want to be mostly asking questions, getting them to open up.
  4. THE STRATEGY: one of the worst things you can do is literally barge into a conversation between 2 higher ups that clearly don't want you there. obviously go up and shake hands if you recognize someone, but if they give you the cold shoulder, don't stick around like a fart in the office, just move on. make your rounds when you first get there, but after that generally stay with just a few groups. no one likes being followed around all night, but at the same time you can't get to know someone if it's just 30 second conversations all night.
  5. THE ACTIVITIES: do not be "that guy." do NOT, I repeat, do NOT go on the dance floor with all of your younger colleagues and proceed to bust a move. this is not your local club, this is a work function. of course, if the entire employee population breaks out in something stupid like the electric slide, definitely join, but when "wobble" comes on, just watch from a distance, and continue your conversation with directors and VPs.
  6. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: don't try to fuck a coworker. don't do it. it could very well be possible, but the christmas party is NOT the time to do it. you have all your bosses, their bosses, and HR there. the last thing you want to be seen doing is grinding on ashley from accounting after talking to your MD about career advancement. if someone is truly sweating you, politely give them the heisman, and then continue those escapades outside company property.
  7. THE AFTERMATH: by this point, you should not be that drunk, so if you get the sense that the directors all want to do something afterwards, do it. whatever it is, do it. if it's a strip club with thai ladyboys, an art museum, a casino, another bar, whatever it is, do it. don't go with the younger crowd to the club if you can help it. if there's nothing going on, don't be a lingerer. ask some higher ups if they'd like to split an uber and then go home.

follow these steps and you likely won't be remembered as the life of the party, but you will be remembered as a mature young person with a bright future.

    • 32
Dec 6, 2016
thebrofessor:

assuming you're there purely to improve your career prospects, here are the keys to the kingdom young padawan.

  1. THE PREPARATION: is this a holiday themed party? is it business casual? business casual is hard to fuck up, but if it's holiday themed, don't wear a naked santa sweater or the one with the two reindeer fucking, don't wear a christmas suit, be a little more toned down.
  2. THE BOOZE & THE FOOD: nurse your drinks, and get things you can handle. assuming it's a full open bar, stick with one thing, do not take shots, and drink SLOWLY. don't be the guy that's double fisting bud lights or rum & cokes trying to talk to the CEO. whatever you like, vodka soda, scotch neat, craft beer, red wine (just check your teeth periodically), whatever. don't overthink it, just drink SLOWLY and do not get hammered. do not be stuffing your face the entire time. eat beforehand, and just graze the appetizers, you're there to further your career, not get a free meal.
  3. THE CONVERSATION: stay away from the forbidden topics of sex, religion, and politics. also, don't voluntarily bring up work. talk about sports, current events (again no politics), holiday plans, what their kids are up to, and let them drive the discussion. you want to be mostly asking questions, getting them to open up.
  4. THE STRATEGY: one of the worst things you can do is literally barge into a conversation between 2 higher ups that clearly don't want you there. obviously go up and shake hands if you recognize someone, but if they give you the cold shoulder, don't stick around like a fart in the office, just move on. make your rounds when you first get there, but after that generally stay with just a few groups. no one likes being followed around all night, but at the same time you can't get to know someone if it's just 30 second conversations all night.
  5. THE ACTIVITIES: do not be "that guy." do NOT, I repeat, do NOT go on the dance floor with all of your younger colleagues and proceed to bust a move. this is not your local club, this is a work function. of course, if the entire employee population breaks out in something stupid like the electric slide, definitely join, but when "wobble" comes on, just watch from a distance, and continue your conversation with directors and VPs.
  6. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: don't try to fuck a coworker. don't do it. it could very well be possible, but the christmas party is NOT the time to do it. you have all your bosses, their bosses, and HR there. the last thing you want to be seen doing is grinding on ashley from accounting after talking to your MD about career advancement. if someone is truly sweating you, politely give them the heisman, and then continue those escapades outside company property.
  7. THE AFTERMATH: by this point, you should not be that drunk, so if you get the sense that the directors all want to do something afterwards, do it. whatever it is, do it. if it's a strip club with thai ladyboys, an art museum, a casino, another bar, whatever it is, do it. don't go with the younger crowd to the club if you can help it. if there's nothing going on, don't be a lingerer. ask some higher ups if they'd like to split an uber and then go home.

follow these steps and you likely won't be remembered as the life of the party, but you will be remembered as a mature young person with a bright future.

Ladies and gentleman, he has done it again.

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Dec 6, 2016

damnit, seems my office party has fallen on opposite day

Dec 6, 2016

Glad we can always count on you, all tips noted. Ready for Thursday!

Dec 6, 2016
thebrofessor:

<

p>THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: don't try to fuck a coworker. don't do it. it could very well be possible, but the christmas party is NOT the time to do it. you have all your bosses, their bosses, and HR there. the last thing you want to be seen doing is grinding on ashley from accounting after talking to your MD about career advancement. if someone is truly sweating you, politely give them the heisman, and then continue those escapades outside company property.

  • +1 silver

    I died laughing on this one

      • 1
    Dec 6, 2016
    thebrofessor:

    whatever it is, do it. if it's a strip club with thai ladyboys, an art museum, a casino, another bar, whatever it is, do it.

    LOL. Thai Ladyboys......+1 for you @thebrofessor

      • 2
    Dec 8, 2016

    What this guy said. +1 for the sex part, this is too true.

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    Dec 6, 2016

    The only thing I would add to that is to drink lots of water and stay hydrated. Water is your friend in this case. Between the potential winter weather (during the winter, the body is naturally dehydrated because of vasoconstriction tied to the season), the fact that you will be drinking, and considering the venue and how many people will be there, increasing the overall temperature of the room you're in, staying hydrated will greatly help you survive the holiday party. It sounds silly, but make sure that for every alcoholic drink you have, you have at least 1 one glass of water. It will also slow down your rate of consumption as well, which is a good thing.

    Dec 6, 2016

    show up when it starts. stay 90 minutes and leave. See the people who count and get out before you make a fool of yourself

    Dec 6, 2016
    monty09:

    show up when it starts. stay 90 minutes and leave. See the people who count and get out before you make a fool of yourself

    i didnt take my own advice and was fired one the next monday. was 100% worth it but thats not the point

    Dec 6, 2016

    Have fun and don't be boring. I wouldn't bother anyone about switching into someone else's department at that time either. FFS they are either trying to let out steam or counting down the minutes until they can irish exit out of there.

    Though admittedly I always find it funny when the really raunchy jokes come out later in the evening.

    ********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********

    Dec 6, 2016

    Always remember one thing, YOU CAN DANCE.

    You killed the Greece spread goes up, spread goes down, from Wall Street they all play like a freak, Goldman Sachs 'o beat.

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    Dec 6, 2016

    Dancing is risky, but if done correctly, can be viewed to your favor. Just do it with caution and sense. Don't come off as a weirdo.

    Dec 6, 2016

    Bet you $20 there will be a Fear the Bulge follow up post

      • 1
    Dec 6, 2016

    Call

    You killed the Greece spread goes up, spread goes down, from Wall Street they all play like a freak, Goldman Sachs 'o beat.

    Dec 6, 2016

    What is a good secret santa/white elephant give for under $100

    Dec 6, 2016

    MAGA hat

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    Dec 6, 2016

    Our holiday office party fucking blows. This year changed to no bringing plus one's and got moved to a hotel from last year's concert hall venue. And start time moved up to 4pm on a Thursday...

    Gonna take advantage of the free drinks then leave immediately.

    Dec 6, 2016

    2 drink max
    Say hello to the boss
    Be friendly
    Leave when your coworkers start to look attractive

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    Dec 7, 2016

    Assuming there's a +1, bring your girlfriend, preferably if she's hot. You are among working professionals who have families. No offence to you finance geeks out there, but you don't want to be that weird lonely guy; it signals that you have zero sales ability and/or leadership potential. Note: the hotter your girlfriend, the more people will respect and remember you.

    Dec 6, 2016

    Make sure you actually know this girl and have confidence that she won't make a fool of herself there. No matter how hot she is. It is painfully obvious, and cringe-worthy, when a co-worker brings a babe that he has either gone on two dates with or barely knows at all.

    Dec 7, 2016

    Actual worse idea: bring your ex-girlfriend as a date and have that blow up at the bar following dinner

    Dec 6, 2016

    My top tip for any party is get to become the dj and start mixing. Even if you just do it for a couple of songs, you will get massive social proof and you will be known by everyone in the party. Plus everyone will think you are cool and awesome and will wanna talk to you.

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    Dec 6, 2016

    That would be pretty cool. I bet your MDs would be shocked when you let your man bun down.

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    Dec 9, 2016

    Please tell me this is a troll.

    Dec 6, 2016

    Had the chance to attend one with my dad (kinda weird I know). Everything was pretty smooth besides this one guy who wouldn't stop drinking and acted like a complete slob. Don't be this guy.

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    Dec 6, 2016

    Met that guy at a three-day workshop/recruiting event. He tried to walk drunk on the edge of a 15-feet long couch over three HR reps to get back to his seat...

    Dec 6, 2016

    the guy I interacted with couldn't believe how much I grew and couldn't stop telling me how much of a schmuck some of his other coworkers were.

    Dec 6, 2016

    Utilize unconventional drinking methods, drink aggressively, and make sure higher ups notice. MD's don't want to see your tenacity and innovative thinking come to a halt just because you left the office.

    Dec 7, 2016

    Dec 8, 2016

    Double or triple Mr. Lahey? That's fine Randy.

    Dec 7, 2016

    I think it depends on what line of business you're in. Our S&T desk had a holiday party and apparently everyone was blackout, and they always bring up how shit faced they were at the party whenever it comes up. My office's "party" was just a dinner...but I almost think that's better since there's less room for people to make themselves seem retarded.

    Went to an MBB holiday party once, not gonna lie...almost made me want to quit banking and work in consulting.

    Dec 7, 2016

    Holiday parties are always more fun if you are attending as a plus 1

    Dec 7, 2016

    Don't bother wearing any underwear, since it will be coming off anyways

    That's my pro-tip (no pun intended)

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    Dec 8, 2016

    Get hammered enough to be smooth as hell, but not too drunk to spy on coworkers to obtain blackmail material. Give one married woman your number and wait to see what happens.

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    Dec 8, 2016

    Why only one?

    Dec 9, 2016

    Don't be the life of the party and don't shit where you eat.

    Dec 6, 2016

    Had our christmas party yesterday, I f&*ked up.

    You killed the Greece spread goes up, spread goes down, from Wall Street they all play like a freak, Goldman Sachs 'o beat.

    Dec 6, 2016

    Same here. 2017 is going to be a long year...

    Mar 13, 2019

    According to me, I think photo booth also be a good idea. Photo Booth always make our event memorable.

    Mar 13, 2019
    "Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn
    Mar 14, 2019