What are helpful tips for office parties?

With the holidays approaching, office parties are becoming increasingly prevalent. CNBC states that last year, almost two-thirds of organizations held an end-of-year holiday party open to all employees. This means that you could be finding an invitation to an office party very soon.

But, while these events are supposed to be fun and relaxed, there are definitely certain ways to work an office party to your advantage. One way is to decide beforehand who you want to engage with - possibly the head of a department you're interested in switching over to? Whatever the case, this kind of social situation is the perfect opportunity to further your career networking.

What tips do you have for working office parties? What should you do - and what should you absolutely not do?

 
Best Response

assuming you're there purely to improve your career prospects, here are the keys to the kingdom young padawan.

  1. THE PREPARATION: is this a holiday themed party? is it business casual? business casual is hard to fuck up, but if it's holiday themed, don't wear a naked santa sweater or the one with the two reindeer fucking, don't wear a christmas suit, be a little more toned down.

  2. THE BOOZE & THE FOOD: nurse your drinks, and get things you can handle. assuming it's a full open bar, stick with one thing, do not take shots, and drink SLOWLY. don't be the guy that's double fisting bud lights or rum & cokes trying to talk to the CEO. whatever you like, vodka soda, scotch neat, craft beer, red wine (just check your teeth periodically), whatever. don't overthink it, just drink SLOWLY and do not get hammered. do not be stuffing your face the entire time. eat beforehand, and just graze the appetizers, you're there to further your career, not get a free meal.

  3. THE CONVERSATION: stay away from the forbidden topics of sex, religion, and politics. also, don't voluntarily bring up work. talk about sports, current events (again no politics), holiday plans, what their kids are up to, and let them drive the discussion. you want to be mostly asking questions, getting them to open up.

  4. THE STRATEGY: one of the worst things you can do is literally barge into a conversation between 2 higher ups that clearly don't want you there. obviously go up and shake hands if you recognize someone, but if they give you the cold shoulder, don't stick around like a fart in the office, just move on. make your rounds when you first get there, but after that generally stay with just a few groups. no one likes being followed around all night, but at the same time you can't get to know someone if it's just 30 second conversations all night.

  5. THE ACTIVITIES: do not be "that guy." do NOT, I repeat, do NOT go on the dance floor with all of your younger colleagues and proceed to bust a move. this is not your local club, this is a work function. of course, if the entire employee population breaks out in something stupid like the electric slide, definitely join, but when "wobble" comes on, just watch from a distance, and continue your conversation with directors and VPs.

  6. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: don't try to fuck a coworker. don't do it. it could very well be possible, but the christmas party is NOT the time to do it. you have all your bosses, their bosses, and HR there. the last thing you want to be seen doing is grinding on ashley from accounting after talking to your MD about career advancement. if someone is truly sweating you, politely give them the heisman, and then continue those escapades outside company property.

  7. THE AFTERMATH: by this point, you should not be that drunk, so if you get the sense that the directors all want to do something afterwards, do it. whatever it is, do it. if it's a strip club with thai ladyboys, an art museum, a casino, another bar, whatever it is, do it. don't go with the younger crowd to the club if you can help it. if there's nothing going on, don't be a lingerer. ask some higher ups if they'd like to split an uber and then go home.

follow these steps and you likely won't be remembered as the life of the party, but you will be remembered as a mature young person with a bright future.

 
thebrofessor:

assuming you're there purely to improve your career prospects, here are the keys to the kingdom young padawan.

  1. THE PREPARATION: is this a holiday themed party? is it business casual? business casual is hard to fuck up, but if it's holiday themed, don't wear a naked santa sweater or the one with the two reindeer fucking, don't wear a christmas suit, be a little more toned down.
  2. THE BOOZE & THE FOOD: nurse your drinks, and get things you can handle. assuming it's a full open bar, stick with one thing, do not take shots, and drink SLOWLY. don't be the guy that's double fisting bud lights or rum & cokes trying to talk to the CEO. whatever you like, vodka soda, scotch neat, craft beer, red wine (just check your teeth periodically), whatever. don't overthink it, just drink SLOWLY and do not get hammered. do not be stuffing your face the entire time. eat beforehand, and just graze the appetizers, you're there to further your career, not get a free meal.
  3. THE CONVERSATION: stay away from the forbidden topics of sex, religion, and politics. also, don't voluntarily bring up work. talk about sports, current events (again no politics), holiday plans, what their kids are up to, and let them drive the discussion. you want to be mostly asking questions, getting them to open up.
  4. THE STRATEGY: one of the worst things you can do is literally barge into a conversation between 2 higher ups that clearly don't want you there. obviously go up and shake hands if you recognize someone, but if they give you the cold shoulder, don't stick around like a fart in the office, just move on. make your rounds when you first get there, but after that generally stay with just a few groups. no one likes being followed around all night, but at the same time you can't get to know someone if it's just 30 second conversations all night.
  5. THE ACTIVITIES: do not be "that guy." do NOT, I repeat, do NOT go on the dance floor with all of your younger colleagues and proceed to bust a move. this is not your local club, this is a work function. of course, if the entire employee population breaks out in something stupid like the electric slide, definitely join, but when "wobble" comes on, just watch from a distance, and continue your conversation with directors and VPs.
  6. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: don't try to fuck a coworker. don't do it. it could very well be possible, but the christmas party is NOT the time to do it. you have all your bosses, their bosses, and HR there. the last thing you want to be seen doing is grinding on ashley from accounting after talking to your MD about career advancement. if someone is truly sweating you, politely give them the heisman, and then continue those escapades outside company property.
  7. THE AFTERMATH: by this point, you should not be that drunk, so if you get the sense that the directors all want to do something afterwards, do it. whatever it is, do it. if it's a strip club with thai ladyboys, an art museum, a casino, another bar, whatever it is, do it. don't go with the younger crowd to the club if you can help it. if there's nothing going on, don't be a lingerer. ask some higher ups if they'd like to split an uber and then go home.

follow these steps and you likely won't be remembered as the life of the party, but you will be remembered as a mature young person with a bright future.

Ladies and gentleman, he has done it again.

 
thebrofessor:

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: don't try to fuck a coworker. don't do it. it could very well be possible, but the christmas party is NOT the time to do it. you have all your bosses, their bosses, and HR there. the last thing you want to be seen doing is grinding on ashley from accounting after talking to your MD about career advancement. if someone is truly sweating you, politely give them the heisman, and then continue those escapades outside company property.

  • +1 silver

    I died laughing on this one

     
    thebrofessor:

    whatever it is, do it. if it's a strip club with thai ladyboys, an art museum, a casino, another bar, whatever it is, do it.

    LOL. Thai Ladyboys......+1 for you thebrofessor

    The fool thinks himself to be a wise man, while the wise man thinks himself to be a fool.
     

    The only thing I would add to that is to drink lots of water and stay hydrated. Water is your friend in this case. Between the potential winter weather (during the winter, the body is naturally dehydrated because of vasoconstriction tied to the season), the fact that you will be drinking, and considering the venue and how many people will be there, increasing the overall temperature of the room you're in, staying hydrated will greatly help you survive the holiday party. It sounds silly, but make sure that for every alcoholic drink you have, you have at least 1 one glass of water. It will also slow down your rate of consumption as well, which is a good thing.

     

    Have fun and don't be boring. I wouldn't bother anyone about switching into someone else's department at that time either. FFS they are either trying to let out steam or counting down the minutes until they can irish exit out of there.

    Though admittedly I always find it funny when the really raunchy jokes come out later in the evening.

    ********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********
     

    Assuming there's a +1, bring your girlfriend, preferably if she's hot. You are among working professionals who have families. No offence to you finance geeks out there, but you don't want to be that weird lonely guy; it signals that you have zero sales ability and/or leadership potential. Note: the hotter your girlfriend, the more people will respect and remember you.

     

    My top tip for any party is get to become the dj and start mixing. Even if you just do it for a couple of songs, you will get massive social proof and you will be known by everyone in the party. Plus everyone will think you are cool and awesome and will wanna talk to you.

     

    Utilize unconventional drinking methods, drink aggressively, and make sure higher ups notice. MD's don't want to see your tenacity and innovative thinking come to a halt just because you left the office.

    I AM THE LIQUOR
     

    I think it depends on what line of business you're in. Our S&T desk had a holiday party and apparently everyone was blackout, and they always bring up how shit faced they were at the party whenever it comes up. My office's "party" was just a dinner...but I almost think that's better since there's less room for people to make themselves seem retarded.

    Went to an MBB holiday party once, not gonna lie...almost made me want to quit banking and work in consulting.

     

    Had our christmas party yesterday, I f&*ked up.

    You killed the Greece spread goes up, spread goes down, from Wall Street they all play like a freak, Goldman Sachs 'o beat.
     

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