Ok guys, one of my cousins just graduated from high school, and I have a few more in their mid teens right now, and for whatever reason I'm usually picked as the advice person (probably because my brother is a flaming communist who can't listen, but that's beside the point). What I'm looking for is advice from some older (& younger too, I suppose) posters on things you wish you knew when you were 15-18 years old. I know I'm being overly optimistic by thinking my teenage cousins will listen to anybody but their friends, but it's worth a shot.
Here's my list (some of this I figured out on my own at the time, but some of it I didn't know until after the fact):
1. some of the time, your elders really do have your best interests in mind, listen to them.
2. if you go to college or trade school, the stuff you do today to try to be popular/improve your image will have no impact on your future.
3. on the flipside of that, your grades & your SAT will have a meaningful impact for years to come, driving where you attend school and then what opportunities you have from that.
4. no need to kill yourself and not have a social life to get a perfect 4.0 (or whatever your grade standard is in your state), so long as your grades are good enough to get you into a great school. but, it is important that you crush the SAT, so don't take it lightly, and take it again if you don't do well.
5. don't use drugs/alcohol and drive. as mad as your parents might be if they catch you doing the stuff, imagine how sad they'd be if you got hurt or worse. Personally, I've had too many close calls with driving drunk in high school, and while those experiences made me careful, I think the big man upstairs was looking out for me, I know people in similar situations who didn't live long enough to graduate high school, and that's a shame.
6. use protection. you can't possibly be good enough at sex to know the difference so there's no sense in barebacking it because "it feels better," don't even take the risk of catching something or conceiving a child.
7. get a job. there is a noticeable difference between kids who were handed everything and only studied (no volunteer work, coaching athletics, tutoring, etc.), and kids who had a job (even if just summer jobs) during high school.
8. don't focus too much on being cool. this was easy for me, I was the nerdiest baseball player at my school. the coolest kids at your high school will end up being your waiters/bartenders later in life if you do it right, don't be one of them. plus, once you get to college, nobody cares (unless you go to the same college as most of your colleagues, in which case you're an idiot).
9. pitch in around the house. sure you had a tough day going from 8-2 with an hour lunch break and then 2 hours of smoking pot and playing call of duty, but your parents just worked 10 hour days, give you free dinner nightly (and cook it for you), and provide for you. get off your ass and do some dishes, laundry, pet stuff, etc. it will mean a lot to your parents.
10. see your grandparents more often. life is short, and old people have a bad habit of dying. there's a special bond between grandparents and grandchildren, so make your friends wait on you for a couple of hours while you hear your pop tell stories he's told 20x before. regardless of how boring they are now, you will miss them when they are gone.
11. above all else, have fun. while most of your friends will blow it and go nowhere (unless you're at Exeter, Woodberry, Baylor, or something like that), there will be a few you'll stay close with. create some memories, the difference between a A and A- in calculus will be moot compared to the night you skipped studying to have a campfire on the beach with your friends.
PS: @"AndyLouis" please think of a good image for this and delete this PS when you're done. I couldn't think of one, thanks.
The big ones that fucked me up for a while:
Don't do opiates. You're not mature enough to handle them. Stay away from blow too for the most part.
Don't do drugs/drink and drive. A DUI is so not worth it. Neither are prison or death. Just pass the fuck out in a bush if it comes to that.
2b. Don't hotbox your own car or smoke and drive. Being a passenger is fine; that's just a ticket.
Use rubbers. STD scares suck. Longest two week wait ever.
Be nice to your mom. You're gonna really feel bad about hurting her later on. And she's your mom; don't be a cunt.
If you fight at school, avoid his face and say he hit you first. If you fight outside of school, fuck up his faced so nobody fucks with you again. Don't get involved with weapons. Not worth it at all.
Don't sell drugs. Not worth it at all.
Don't steal street signs. Don't steal period. Not worth it at all.
If you end up goofing off, go to a community college, do very well, and transfer to a good school.
Stay the fuck off of all that instagram nonsense. Read a goddamn book.
If you encounter LEOs, be courteous and polite, but also watch some of those 'know your rights' videos and don't be a pushover. Keep drugs locked in the glove box, etc. But don't be one of those 'I KNOW MAH RIGHTS' people.
Explore non-conventional career paths. College isn't for everyone. 6 years as a Navy Nuke, you're making 160K by 24 with 6 years' salary in the bank, free college, and benefits for life; and possibly way more as a consultant later on. Stuff like that
Might think of more.
The things that seem like they're life ending when you're in high school-girl breaking up with you, bombing an exam, whatever-are nothing and you won't even remember them in a few years, if not a few weeks.
Take time to enjoy being young. Maybe it's because of the field we're in or seeing kids post on here about what internship they need or about taking the CFA before their freshman year in college, but relax and take time to live in the moment. Much like your above recommendations, have fun with friends, screw as many girls/guys as possible, skip a day of school every once in a while and try to have a Ferris Bueller day. Have fun. You're only young once.
Treat everyone, regardless of their position in life, with respect. Just because your parents have money, or you got into Harvard, or you landed a job in a prestigious field doesn't mean that you should treat people poorly. That busboy or ditch digger is just trying to make it through this life also and doesn't need anyone treating him like less than a man.
this. completely forgot about it but that's one of the worst things in the world when a kid is pretentious. I coach teenagers and preteens in golf every week at one of the nicer clubs in town, and there are some rich kids & poor kids at the sessions, and it's such a damn shame to see the rich kids rub their status in the faces of the other kids, bragging about vacations to Breckenridge, the Caribbean, etc., when the other kid is happy being out of his neighborhood for a while.
Yea, +1 on this.. Nobody likes a douche - don't be one.
wow, these are really good. I was just gonna say don't get people pregnant
It's lower than you think
It's lower than you think.
Edit: Fucking wizard^
brofessaurus rex strikes again - nice tips everyone may not think of
SB'd u and goldencinderblock cuz he gives gud fight advice
1.) Wish I would of played football in high school or continued with hockey to gain more social skills.
2.) Wish I would of tried as hard in high school as I did in college so I would be at an Ivy
3.) Make more friends in high school
@"thebrofessor" Dang, he teaches kids too. Ladies, form a line!
I'm with you though. I can put up with pretty much any human personality trait aside from pretension and self-entitlement.
haha I appreciate it, but I'm happily unavailable.
But seriously - take time to find out who YOU are before settling on a path in life. Whether it be through meditation, personal reflection, or psychedelic use you will be an inherently happier and fulfilled person once you take the time to really get to know yourself.
One thing that I think surprises people as they get older is that you will never have friends you're as close with as you do in high school and maybe college. You just don't have the time when you start gathering real responsibilities. Most likely you'll have 'couple friends' yogoad your wife go to dinner with on occasion, a couple of drinking buddies at work, and some friends you talk to a few times a year or less that you've been friends with for a long time. This isn't really advice, obviously, but I probably would have liked to have known that.
Also, @"thebrofessor", the things you say about your grandparents go doubly for your parents. They won't be around forever either.
One thing I would add is that you will definitely get fat as you get older, unless you consciously make decisions to prevent it. Start forming good eating and exercise habits while you are young.
on friends, I'm going through that right now. I'm ~5 years removed from college and the guy who was my best friend is 3 time zones away and working insane hours (like 6am to 10pm most days), it's just tough. not to mention, much of my emotional capital is tied up in client relationships, so nurturing social relationships is that much harder.
very true about parents, I only mentioned grandparents because my grandfather passed when I was 12 or 13, can't remember, and I hate saying this but I dreaded visiting him back then (all I wanted to do was skateboard & listen to music). I was never rude to him, but it's tough wondering what else you could've learned from someone if you'd just spent more time there.
Great point about the friends you make in high school and college. I can tell you from my own personal experience that this definitely holds true.
1) If you move out of state for your career, make an effort to stay in touch with your close friends from high school and college. it’s surprisingly easy to lose touch with your friends from home after you’ve been gone several years.
2) Understand that you only go to high school once and what you do will follow you for the rest of your life. How you do academically will lead to what type of college you can get into which will lead to your career options, decisions you make about playing/not playing sports could lead you to live in regret for a long time, etc. Have fun, but keep your grades up and live in a way that won’t cause you to look back with regret.
3) Consciously put time aside when you are still young to think about things that you enjoy doing that you are good at, then find a decent paying career that incorporates those things. A lot of people in high school and even college don’t think about what they truly want to do with their lives, and it’s much better to figure it out when you’re 16 instead of when you’re 30.
Dick is completely correct about parents. At some point you'll be with your parents and realize that they've gotten old and then a few years after that they won't be around anymore. I'd give up any amount of money to have more time with my mom.
And the friends thing is true also (not that the fat thing isn't...). Unless you're one of those people who goes back to your hometown and have the same group of friends as you did growing up, you'll never make those connections. My college friends are the group I keep in touch with but we're all over the globe so if we can get a good amount of us together every 3-5 years it's amazing we've been able to pull that off.
Another point to add: you will never know more in your life than the summer after you graduate from high school. You're the top dog in your environment and you're old enough and young enough to know everything there is to know.
How so?
I agree with all except #6. You need to study your subjects better.
7. FME, it's probably best wait until HS, when it's easier to line up jobs, before the first job. Otherwise you will go into withdraw for extended periods. Work is fun!
Don't ever say no to a chick who wants to hook up with you.
This too shall pass
What you think you want, might not actually be what you really want. Applies to college searches, girlfriends/boyfriends, career paths, you name it. Keep an open mind.
Lol, how's that?
awesome!
To the OP. If it was today, I would sit them down and say, OK, what are you thinking you want to do for a career? In the case of finance it would be nice to know a lot of the information that is readily available on this site. But basically show a job posting or what an employer is looking, and chart the course through college, internships and whatever else.
For software, same thing, but I'd highlight the pitfalls at some of these schools. My nephew tried getting into a CS program at his university, little did he know the upper division college only lets in less than 100 matriculating students per year (divided between fall and spring) with an average GPA of 3.7. Which is tough when you are taking science, programming and math classes all at once.
Basically I think it is invaluable to point out what level of scholarships are available, a rough sketch of what it takes to be competitive and as many pitfalls as you can point out. It is a very different job market today than it was even 10 years ago.
My advice? - Do well in school and kill the SAT. - Conversely, don't care too much about school. Do well in school, but don't at all obsess over it. - Have fun, as you're only young once. - Make as many friends as possible, and actively work on building your social skills. - This depends on your ambitions and goals, but I wish I would have started a business when I was in high school and didn't have very many real responsibilities. I wouldn't have expected it to be successful necessarily, but it would be good experience. - I don't see anything wrong with trying to be "popular" or "cool" as long as you're still doing well. It'll likely just bolster your people skills, if anything. - Appreciate your parents more.
Life ends after high school graduation.
I would say my two most important experiences in high school were (i) participating in HS sports (especially team sports) and (ii) math classes.
Life lessons you can learn by playing HS sports are endless: competitiveness, work ethic, team work, commitment / perseverance, mental toughness ect. You can't truly learn those things in a class room, doing homework, or group projects. HS is your only real opportunity to play that kind of organized sports. After HS you're either among the small % of kids good enough to play in college (who don't really get a college education anyways) or you're just playing for fun with friends. I personally think the richest experience you can have playing HS sports is being the kid who works his ass off to go from a below avg athlete to an above avg athlete. Then taking that experience and applying it to other area's of your life. Even the experience of dealing with a prick coach who you think hates you and wants to see you quit can benefit you later in life. Not to mention HS sports keep you out of trouble.
Also, of all the subjects they try to teach you in HS, I think the most important are math (most important), history, and probably some kind of computer skills. Everything else is bullshit to some degree. I honestly think I entered college with an 8th grade reading / writing level and graduated college with a 3.5 gpa (granted I went to a big ten school).
1) Spend more time studying and finding a balance. Don't do either extremes; you'll burn out. 2) Go to a College you'll enjoy but that has good opportunities and a strong alumni network (I went to a mid-tier College, had the time of my life and got good enough results). 3) Prestige is important, but focus on developing yourself and learning skills and lessons. 4) Have fun! Don't think that because you failed a class you're never going to be an Investment Banker. Bankers are more interested in people who have something interesting to say than your Class A nerd, who's never had a beer in his/her life.
Learn the value of persistence and hard work. There will always, always be someone more talented, smarter and better than you are but in time, if you keep working and keep pushing forward, you'll be better off for it
Learn to give back to people who don't have as much as you do. The world is bigger than the school you go to and even the country you live in. Understand that there are people who will never come close to having the opportunities that you take for granted.
Treat everyone with respect and especially, those who care for you. You might find yourself at odds with them at this stage in your life but learn to live with those differences. They're just looking out for you.
Overcome the fear of public speaking, develop social skills and be humble.
Don't mock and fear being intelligent. There's nothing cool about shunning it to be more popular. In the long run, if you do it right, it will pay off for you.
Life's shorter than you think. Follow your dreams, do and say things that you want to, don't have any regrets, make a difference in people's lives and it'll be just fine.
I wish I knew that the girls I so badly wanted to have sex with wanted to have sex with me just as badly.
1+ I can't thing of a good picture, but I'll give a SB to the first person who turns this into a motivational poster.
Touché +1
Great thread guys.
Honestly, one of the biggest things for me in terms of self-development was finding a part-time retail job. I started off as a tiny shrimpy guy who couldn't hold a conversation nor hold eye contact, working in retail completely changed me as a person.
Ask that girl out
Do a job, summer job, lousy job, any job... Underpaid summer job was what changed my outlook on life. I refused to get stuck doing that for the rest of my life, my grades skyrocketed after that summer. If you are unmotivated that's my advice, you'll for sure now where you wan't you life to be headed afterwards..
Study hard and then study harder, don't give up a social life, give up video games, instagram, snapchat, etc. The connections and education at a top school are some of the most important connections you can ever get.
x
plus, if you go to a non-target, selfies are like business cards, you have to get good at it.
I partially agree with the social media advice but FB's not a bad way to keep in touch with friends when you're no longer all in the same place. I went to college way before social media was even a glimmer in Zuck's eye and after FB became more popular (I was definitely not an early adopter) and a lot of people my age got on it it got me back in touch with a decent amount of friends from high school and college and we've been able to plan in-person meet ups and parties. That doesn't mean you should sit there and post everytime you take a crap but it can be useful.
Plenty of good advices here, I would like to echo on:
1) Treat people with respect and make plenty of acquaintances (not saying friends cause its different) BUT stay away from people you really don't like - it is not worth it
2) Go for sports!
3) Respect your parents and don't be like 'you know nothing, Jon Snow'. They know something, seriously
BR, Mark
Don't get tied down with a girl unless she is on board with your ambition. Also make sure you are in love with her! If you ask yourself if it's comfort or love and you hesitate move on. You refuse to settle in every other aspect of life.
Number 7 is overlooked- very important
Don't consider any girl out of your league. Man up and ask her out. Winners go home and f the prom queen, etc.
This is really true. You have absolutely nothing to lose by asking any girl out regardless of her looks. Hell, the really hot ones don't even get hit on as much by guys their age because they're too intimidated. And in ten years you won't be thinking about how embarrassing it was that a few girls turned you down, you'll be thinking about the hot ones you hooked up.
The most important rule for those of you still in high school that are frequents to WSO....
Rule #1: Do not obsess over investment banking. In fact, if you actually know what investment banking is other than some high paying job on Wall Street, you have broken this rule.
No human being under the age of 18 should be seriously preparing for a career in investment banking from the time they are in high school with the same level of intensity that most elders (compared to high school students) strive for.
I could not imagine dedicating my entire youth to such a tedious and stressful endeavor.
Enjoy your youth lads.
Great thread; hope they listen to you haha.
Some of the ones I agree with and/or would add/augment:
1) You gotta crush the grades. Yeah, it sucks to study your ass off when other kids are hanging out or chilling, but it truly does pay off. I wish I had listened to my parents earlier in high school and gotten my shit together sooner -- it worked out well for me in the end. Just goes to show they know more than we teenagers tend to think.
2) Screw the haters. I used to get called a nerd all the time, both for my passion for academics and my extracurricular activities. But after coming back from my freshman year of college, those people who hated on me back in freshman year & middle school are asking me how college was, how amazing it was, etc. They'll come back with their tails between their legs when you kill the game.
3) Take romantic risks. I really, really wish I had taken more risks in high school - asked the girl out, asked the one I really wanted to prom and such. Yeah grades and school are important but if you go insane trying to get perfect grades you'll feel like you wasted your high school experience (by the way, perfect grades don't matter. Keep 'em high but everybody messes up sometime).
4) (This IMO is a big one) The definition of "cool" changes with time. There was a time when the guy who smoked pot and didn't give a shit about school was the "cool" guy - now he's the loser who nobody wants to go near or associate with. Keep your chin up and have conviction in your beliefs, because if you have good principles and the drive to work hard, you're going to be the cool guy down the road.
Great post.
If you always do, what you've always done, you'll always get, what you've already got.
Understand there is no fork in the road. You're already on a path until you decide to take an exit.
1.Focus on getting good grades but don't forget to have fun. 2.High school relationships aren't important at all and don't last so don't fret when your girlfriend breaks up with you. 3.Be nice to people. Treat everyone with respect. I used to bully a kid in high school and made his life miserable. I regret it to this day. It turns out that he's working at the same place where I'll be starting soon. What are the chances? 4. It doesn't matter how smart you were in high school. In college you have to start all over again.
Kind of goes with number 8, but.....
Go about your life not giving a fuck about what other people think of you. Be yourself, make others feel important, be a good person, but don't let others dictate what is right for you, what is wrong for you, what you should be doing and who you are. It's your life, so live it the way you want.
stay the f out of social media websites and other timekillers
pick one/two sports and be good at them
read
read
read
don't waste money on bs, start saving
make friends
start thinking on what you want in this life, including your career: try, try and try different things to understand what you want
stop hurrying, learn to enjoy process
become a good listener, learn a language of silence
your parents are mortal: treat them well, listen to them and spend time with them while they are with you
don't be scared: ask the girl you like out, try something new, follow your fear and try to do things you're afraid of, don't stay in your comfort zone
study really hard
travel if you can
enjoy being young, have fun (not necessarily drinking too much, partying 24/7, etc.)
don't be an asshole. you may regret a lot. your thinking will change and things will look a lot different soon.
read.
8 is such a nerd thing to say to make you feel better about yourself. Also it's likely untrue. Social skills are insanely important in life, especially in investment banking. I agree you don't have to work to be the coolest kid, but to say the "coolest kids will be your waiters/bartenders" is such a douchey and childish comment.
Forget about being "cool" or "nerdy". Just be yourself and uphold a level of comfort and confidence with you own self-image. I knew plenty of kids in HS who were nerdy as shit yet they were respected and liked by the cool kids because of their self-confidence.
True. A friend of mine from the time we were in first grade was a certified nerd. In second grade he was the kid who in the early 80's was programming on his TI computer when I went to his house. I suppose I was one of the cool kids in HS but because I was in all the AP classes and truly didn't care what anyone thought about me, I was friends with him and all the geeks, but I digress. He not only didn't try to be cool, he became the absolute king of the nerds. He embraced it with gusto and did it with style, albeit very nerdy style... And at the age of 40 he just sold his third tech company for 9 figures, and by that I mean the first two were also sold for 9 figures.
What I didn't do and wish I had; be mature, academic and thoughtful.
What I did and recommend to every kid; Go Big. Do something with balls. Hitchhike across the country, get in at least one bar clearing brawl, work exotic jobs with roughnecks or gypsies, climb a mountain, set sail, etc. By pushing myself in 'non-productive' ways I learned who I really was, what really turned me on and how I might find a career to leverage that. For me it worked. I tell my kids that they'll learn more running away to Italy at 15 than they will being justanotherboringassamerciankid.
My best advice; stay the hell away from women until you meet Ms. Right. Hint: she doesn't go to your high school. You'll know her when you meet her - and when you do pursue her relentlessly into a lifelong marriage.
Never turn down an invitation to dance.
Study abroad. The friendships you make during an exchange program will last forever. The romantic relationships won't. Break up with your foreign gf/bf before you come home. Heed this advice, or you're asking for a world of heartache. Long distance relationships don't work.
Good advice
if you aren't near the top of your class in HS and aren't good in math/sciences...don't go to college.
go to trade school and learn something because not only are you not getting a job on wall street..you aren't getting a job in corporate america either
good F500 level internships and wall st internships and jobs only go to the very best and the very connected. going to a 2nd tier state school and pulling down mediocre grades is a fast track to the bar tender career life.
only major in STEM. if you arent a STEM major, you better pray that you can pad your resume with internships over the summers.
im sure someone on here will be like "no dats not true, i work at xyz no name equity research fund and went to a 2nd tier state school" blalbla...its very unlikely you will wind up anywhere even close to a boutique shop, these people are the exceptions, not the norm
Boy you sound like a fun person... Do your non-STEM friends enjoy hanging around with you or do you constantly talk about how worthless their degrees are?
And this is coming from someone studying engineering.
i wasnt a stem major and most of my friends are STEM majors, the ones who went to college anyways.
just stating the facts...if you aren't near the top these days you shouldnt even go to college. its a complete waste of time for 80% of the people who are there now.
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