What would happen if all companies decide to eliminate waste?

What do you guys think would happen if large organization like corporation and universities just out of nowhere decide to get lean and remove most unnecessary administrative functions? Think of what Deutsche Bank is doing now with their dumpster fire of a company, but from a position of strength. What would be the social and economical implication of such a move? Is it even possible?

Comments (24)

Apr 29, 2019

no one would have jobs any more

Apr 29, 2019

they would substitute jobs where they are a drag on the economy to lower paying jobs where they are accretive to the economy. GDP would increase, we could have some deflation that would need to be kept track of. Some people would find they had no roll in the economy any more, they could be used as ammunition to further the UBI debate.

Funniest
Apr 29, 2019

I checked their website. They still have the diversity and inclusion initiatives. There's fat to trim.

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Apr 30, 2019

End of the world as we know it
boom

    • 3
Most Helpful
Apr 30, 2019

I have a friend who works at FedEx in IT. The work tales he tells me are completely unbelievable. I am convinced that they could fire at least 1/2 of their office staff with no productivity hit. Here are some examples:

  1. Obese 400+ lb woman shits herself while waddling across the office floor to the bathroom because she cannot move fast enough. A good 10+ feet of carpet are covered in diarrhea - they must let everyone go early and close the office to get a hazmat crew in and replace all of the carpet.
  2. FedEx gives special priority to people with mental disabilities. Man with autism applies for a software development manager role with absolutely zero ability to manage people. My friend's entire team politely suggests he is not a good fit for the role but FedEx hires him anyways. 2 weeks into working the new hire freaks out in a meeting, runs to the corner and crouches, and starts sobbing. He says he cannot handle the pressure and needs isolation to work properly. FedEx allows him to work from home 5 days a week despite being hired to manage a critical team on-site. My friend tells me he is paid $90k+ and does absolutely nothing and cannot be fired due to disability.
  3. FedEx is hiring a new manager for my friend's division which involves managing Indian programmers and checking their coding/process. New hire is a sassy black woman with an MBA from University of Phoenix who lied on her resume and has zero applicable knowledge of coding. Upper management decides to give all of her workload to my friend but does not fire her because "daz racist!" and her job consists of forwarding emails from her team to India. She makes $70-80k per year.

On my friend's team of 15-20 people, about 3-4 people do all the work. These individuals are expected to pick up any and all slack for the remaining workers, who 90% are protected diversity/LGBTQ+/disability status. There is zero pay disparity and promotion only based on tenure/years worked. Many times a year "diversity consultants" are brought in to lecture my friend's office on how to make people feel included and how to better "engage" said diversity hires at the office. Hilariously, when engaged these people respond by doing no work or fucking up royally, which the evil straight white males must then scramble to fix before deadlines.

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Apr 30, 2019
InVinoVeritas:

I have a friend who works at FedEx in IT. The work tales he tells me are completely unbelievable. I am convinced that they could fire at least 1/2 of their office staff with no productivity hit. Here are some examples:

  1. Obese 400+ lb woman shits herself while waddling across the office floor to the bathroom because she cannot move fast enough. A good 10+ feet of carpet are covered in diarrhea - they must let everyone go early and close the office to get a hazmat crew in and replace all of the carpet.
  2. FedEx gives special priority to people with mental disabilities. Man with autism applies for a software development manager role with absolutely zero ability to manage people. My friend's entire team politely suggests he is not a good fit for the role but FedEx hires him anyways. 2 weeks into working the new hire freaks out in a meeting, runs to the corner and crouches, and starts sobbing. He says he cannot handle the pressure and needs isolation to work properly. FedEx allows him to work from home 5 days a week despite being hired to manage a critical team on-site. My friend tells me he is paid $90k+ and does absolutely nothing and cannot be fired due to disability.
  3. FedEx is hiring a new manager for my friend's division which involves managing Indian programmers and checking their coding/process. New hire is a sassy black woman with an MBA from University of Phoenix who lied on her resume and has zero applicable knowledge of coding. Upper management decides to give all of her workload to my friend but does not fire her because "daz racist!" and her job consists of forwarding emails from her team to India. She makes $70-80k per year.

On my friend's team of 15-20 people, about 3-4 people do all the work. These individuals are expected to pick up any and all slack for the remaining workers, who 90% are protected diversity/LGBTQ+/disability status. There is zero pay disparity and promotion only based on tenure/years worked. Many times a year "diversity consultants" are brought in to lecture my friend's office on how to make people feel included and how to better "engage" said diversity hires at the office. Hilariously, when engaged these people respond by doing no work or fucking up royally, which the evil straight white males must then scramble to fix before deadlines.

Speaking of crazy IT stories, my best friend works in Bahrein for a large oil company. His department has 20+ people, of which only two know how to code, him and a guy from India. Everyone else is a hire out of sheer nepotism. Son of/relative of local nobility. One day the workload was overwhelming so they decided to ask to HR to look for someone that could help and of course the new hires list must include the local nobility and you can guess who was picked for the job.

But yeah we are approaching that level.

Apr 30, 2019

interested in what other sources you based your belief on, because you yourself said these stories are unbelievable

Apr 30, 2019
willois:

interested in what other sources you based your belief on, because you yourself said these stories are unbelievable

It was clearly hyperbolic dude

Apr 30, 2019

This isn't a belief, it's the truth. My best childhood friend works there and he is not a liar. Enormous turnover - anyone worth a shit is trying to leave ASAP.

Apr 30, 2019

You must be a riot at parties.

Apr 30, 2019

I think the woman in #1 deserves a medal - that 10+ feet has to be a skidmark world record.

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Apr 30, 2019
InVinoVeritas:

I have a friend who works at FedEx in IT. The work tales he tells me are completely unbelievable. I am convinced that they could fire at least 1/2 of their office staff with no productivity hit. Here are some examples:

  1. Obese 400+ lb woman shits herself while waddling across the office floor to the bathroom because she cannot move fast enough. A good 10+ feet of carpet are covered in diarrhea - they must let everyone go early and close the office to get a hazmat crew in and replace all of the carpet.
  2. FedEx gives special priority to people with mental disabilities. Man with autism applies for a software development manager role with absolutely zero ability to manage people. My friend's entire team politely suggests he is not a good fit for the role but FedEx hires him anyways. 2 weeks into working the new hire freaks out in a meeting, runs to the corner and crouches, and starts sobbing. He says he cannot handle the pressure and needs isolation to work properly. FedEx allows him to work from home 5 days a week despite being hired to manage a critical team on-site. My friend tells me he is paid $90k+ and does absolutely nothing and cannot be fired due to disability.
  3. FedEx is hiring a new manager for my friend's division which involves managing Indian programmers and checking their coding/process. New hire is a sassy black woman with an MBA from University of Phoenix who lied on her resume and has zero applicable knowledge of coding. Upper management decides to give all of her workload to my friend but does not fire her because "daz racist!" and her job consists of forwarding emails from her team to India. She makes $70-80k per year.

On my friend's team of 15-20 people, about 3-4 people do all the work. These individuals are expected to pick up any and all slack for the remaining workers, who 90% are protected diversity/LGBTQ+/disability status. There is zero pay disparity and promotion only based on tenure/years worked. Many times a year "diversity consultants" are brought in to lecture my friend's office on how to make people feel included and how to better "engage" said diversity hires at the office. Hilariously, when engaged these people respond by doing no work or fucking up royally, which the evil straight white males must then scramble to fix before deadlines.

If you think that's just Fedex, you are sadly mistaken. This forum is focused on Banking and Consulting. Having worked at 3 F500 companies, I can tell you the level of stupidity and laziness at a lot of places might shock you.

I deal with this every fkin day.

May 1, 2019
RussianBot:

If you think that's just Fedex, you are sadly mistaken. This forum is focused on Banking and Consulting. Having worked at 3 F500 companies, I can tell you the level of stupidity and laziness at a lot of places might shock you.

I deal with this every fkin day.

Even at some banks it is out of hand. I know a MM bank in NYC that hired 2 traders (the junior of which is a close friend of mine) and a salesperson about 2 years ago to trade a very niche product that was apparently booming. The team joined and got set up and ready to go within a few weeks. They had a transferable client book and - despite this product being fairly capital intensive - the bank allocated BS and risk for it.

Now they were all ready for business. All they had to do was get the business development team and KYC/AML teams to onboard the clients. From what my buddy tells, the KYC/AML team was a complete bureaucratic clusterfuck full of people who had no idea what they were doing. The AML/KYC teams repetitively lost the on boarding documents and many times there was nobody even on the case. The process was split between teams in India, Jersey City, and NYC. After 9 months of back and fourth with these teams they finally had 3 clients onboarded.

After my buddy was there a year, the head of trading has a meeting with them asking why PnL is so low. They explained that they have only had clients for 3-4 months, so for 3-4 months of business with a handful of clients their PnL was great. After a year a half of working there the onboarding team only managed to onboard about a third of the clients due to sheer incompetence and my buddy was not able to meet PnL targets/budget. Bank cut the whole team and joke on them hes a at an AM now trading that niche product.

Apr 30, 2019

I've thought about this. I'm convinced most companies could lay off 25% of their workforce and generally be fine. It would be awful for society though and without something like universal basic income or jobs to slot these people into, society would collapse.

Array
Apr 30, 2019

I would have a lot fewer coworkers.

May 1, 2019

I don't want to be reductive, but wouldn't a fairly close version of what you're describing just be a smaller boutique firm vs. a bulge bracket firm, where everyone has to do a little bit of everything vs being (for lack of a better term) "departmentally siloed"?

Keeping it within the Banking realm, even if you could "lay off 25% of your workforce and be fine", would it even be worth the incremental increase to your comp? or to ask it another way, would you really want to be responsible/at fault for all the non-bank related KYC/AML crap that goes on?

I might be in the minority here, but a lot of those jobs exist -at least on paper- to make FO lives easier. I know in practice it ends up being - "Karen" in Compliance needs you to reach back out to a sensitive client to get Pg 73 of some document properly formatted, bc some audit dweeb might fine you. But even in that instance, isn't having someone behind you watching your back a bit of a luxury compared to having to be your own paralegal/secretary/ops on every deal you touch?

Cutting bloat is always a good thing, but I think relegating everyone who makes a living doing something other than straight revenue production to "waste" or "unnecessary" is a bit of a stretch. I also don't think the OP meant what I just described, but I think some people are conflating bad workers with departments as a whole serving no purpose.

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May 2, 2019

Had a friend working in the RTA in Dubai a while back. Now the Dubai RTA is notorious for its high speed cameras and its fines. What I didn't know was that the entire section is handled by a team of 25 people (including my friend), whose job was to essentially look at each picture captured by a speed camera, note down the license plate number manually and then compose the parking ticket that would be sent to the poor bloke.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

May 2, 2019

Honestly, the fat would get trimmed and nothing would change for a lot of groups. The sad thing is that those groups aren't the ones that will be impacted. It'll be poor old Jimmy down in Finance with his one junior employee trying to do P&L for an entire product line. Most companies would be ok but those few poor bastards left would be working incredibly hard. It's not sustainable.

I'm convinced that if my F500 did away with out Talent Acquisition folks that things would go way faster. I'm not even talking bullshit diversity things. They just flat out suck and outsource their job to every other function. I don't even know what they do. We all prescreen folks, interview them, and do all of the background work to get them in the door. I'm convinced all TA does is to call people with offers.

May 8, 2019

I have zero idea what 90% of workers within F500 human resources do...

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May 4, 2019

Unlikely for the simple fact that we are not machines. Fatigue and entropy will exist in some capacity.

Work hard, work clean, & most of all do not give up.

May 11, 2019
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May 10, 2019
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