Will I be fired/penalized of expecting a child as a first year analyst?

my girlfriend just got pregnant

I take maternity leave

huh?

First of all, congrats!

I mean it is illegal to fire you for having a kid so there is that... if they were to terminate you, you could have a wrongful termination lawsuit on your hands.

Optics within the company may not be great w a paternity leave but if you can get through that initial onslaught of that, you should be fine and you can prove yourself later. Spending time with your new baby is priceless and something you will never get back. You will also be able to share equally in new parent duties w your gf

As a subpoint to the above, make sure you are understand the tradeoff of working vs spending time w your kid outside of your paternity leave. Not to mention, your gf will essentially be a single parent much of the time if you are working insane hours and making sure she fully understands what that means is crucial (could be useful to look at child care help here too or some type of mother's helper situation to give her some much needed break time). 

Something doesn't add up

I think the correct term is paternity leave if you identify as a male, and shared parental leave for same sex couples.

And no, I don't believe any company would fire you for this, it is illegal. Nobody can be fired because they are having a child. There are several firms that allow paternity or shared parental leave and you should have a discussion with HR regarding this.

It's illegal to fire you for having a baby. On the other hand, I can't imagine taking an 8-week leave in my first year as an analyst and having anyone be ok with it. I just really hope you realize the situation you're in and you've really really thought about it. It's not just, 'have a child then sail smooth seas and work harder to make up for your absence at the firm'. You're gonna get demolished being a parent. I was working about 20-40 hours less than you will be when I had my first child and it kicked my ass. I recognize I went above and beyond the question you asked and I'm sure my answer is pissing you off because it would piss me off too. I'm sure you've thought about this already but I just really hope you realize how fucked you are.

If I was a betting man, I would say you lose either your job, your relationship with your gf, and/or any meaningful interaction with your son for the first 5 years.

I don’t think it’s an issue. If this a reputable firm too.

I hope you understand that IB is a huge grind, especially as a 1st year (I’m talking 80-90 hour work weeks. You do need to let your team know several months (at least 1-2 min) in advance

This will depend slightly on which EB you’re signed with as well. Certain firms (EVR, CVP, PJT) are known to be more progressive than others (MOE, GHL, LAZ) 

Quit. Find a 40-50 hours/week job. Otherwise you won't be able to raise your child and you'll have regrets for the rest of your life for not being a good parent. As it has been said several times on this forum, IB is not compulsory to be succesful in finance. 

Good luck with your new life, enjoy it! 

There was actually a first-year analyst in my class whose wife had a kid literally the first week that we officially hit the desk (after training). My honest opinion is that it's extremely difficult to be a first-year under those circumstances, because although people will be verbally / outwardly supportive (you won't get fired), it's just nearly impossible to be a top or mid bucket analyst if you take significant time off as a first-year. Beyond just the paternity leave itself, it's just brutal to try to balance your personal and professional life since your first-year will likely be your busiest.

Will also say that I've seen a good amount of associates have kids and think the consensus in banking is that you need to minimize your paternity leave. It's pretty fucked up from my point of view, but I've mostly seen people take ~4 weeks off at most even if the firm technically allows for more than that.

BYU has entered the chat

hey congrats on having sex and landing an EB offer. Unfortunately, banking is one of the very worst industries to be in if you are having a kid.. especially at such a young age. It will be unfair to your gf, your kid, and your coworkers if you try and compromise as an analyst. 

Just keeping it real, no way you can do 3Am's in banking multiple nights a week & then maintain a happy relationship while raising a kid. Switch industries asap. 

Don’t listen to all the naysayers. You’ll be fine as long as you and your partner are aligned on expectations. I know a handful of analysts with a kid, and plenty of associates with a kid(s). Of course, you’ll be completely slammed and your partner will need to do most of the heavy lifting. But as long as you are both on the same page, you can make it work

Homie u having a kid while still in college? Get ur shit together and wrap it up next time.

I was in a similar boat. I had my first kid during my 2nd year as an analyst, it was very hard especially when my wife is an international. I didn't tell anyone on my team, besides my close friends outside of banking. I didn't take a leave and just call out sick for 1 day to help with the delivery. Luckily, my parents and wife helped a lot with the kids, can't imagine doing it on my own.

To be frank, there’s zero chance of this working out well in an analyst role 

I’ve gotta say that it’s going to be miserable, and I hope you have a supportive partner. I couldn’t imagine being an IB analyst with a kid. I run a startup that I founded. My wife was in labor with our first daughter, and I was outside the hospital pitching VCs on the sidewalk for our series A. My wife was cool with it, but she’s pretty unique. 
 

Separately, one of my wife’s friends’ husband is in the US Navy. They have 3 little kids, and he has been at sea for 250 days and counting...she runs a tracker for her older kids that she posts on social media occasionally. It could be worse. There is working a lot of hours and then there is real sacrifice. 

I don't think you have to listen to the advice to leave the industry. As long as your wife is willing to become a full-time mom, you should be fine. Get some parents involved in helping out if you have to.

A Mormon guy in my analyst class had a kid and everyone was pretty cool about it.

A Mormon guy in my analyst class had a kid and everyone was pretty cool about it.

A lot of negativity in this trend, but honestly as a real advice to the OP. Being someone who was on the same boat and went through it, I think the only person that can answer the question is yourself.

Here are a few things to think about:

- Does your wife work? If not, then you're the only breadwinner and doesn't have much choices. Not a lot of jobs out there that provide the same level of income and job security as IB.

- Can your parents or your in-laws help with the baby? Luckily, my parents and in-laws were super supportive and lived with us from the day that the kid is born to age 2. I can't imagine doing it with just myself and my wife. Just imagine coming home @ 1am or 2 am then baby starts to cry and it's only you and your wife who have no experience. (This one is big).

- Where do you work? Idk where you guys are at financially. If you're in SF/NY, I think financially it will be tough. Luckily, I'm in Charlotte where my paycheck goes a long way and I'm living comfortably near work with $3k after paying my rent (3B2B penthouse @ a luxury rental,15min to work by light rail) and I get to bank my bonus. My regular hours is also only 70-85 hours, rarely 100 hours.

- Lastly, I think you should have a long conversation with your wife on your life plan. Me and my wife got into a lot of arguments after we had our first born, we almost never argue before that. A lot of disagreement on how to raise the kid and a lot of conflict between my wife and my mom on small stuff around the house. My wife isn't as career driven, therefore she giving up her career to help raise the kid.

Here are a few advice:

- I can't speak for your team culture, but I didn't tell my team about having a kid. I took a sick day for the delivery and that was it. I worked on my laptop, while my wife was given birth in front of me. Like literally, no joke. Luckily, we have the best healthcare and plan out the delivery well.

- Like most people, IB is usually a 2 year gig. It's short term pain for long term gain, communicate that with your family. You will be much more stable financially and professionally after 2 years. I have HH calling and emailing me every other day for different gigs, I can always go toward a 35-40 hour corporate finance or FP&A role @ a major tech company and kick in $150k all in.

As for the people who's reading this trend, it's always easy to be a monday morning quarterback. Life happens and there's times when things aren't in your control. I never planned for a kid and my GF(now wife) was on birth control during the time. You just have to deal with life as it comes. I had a lot of stress and anxiety when I got the news, and I have thought of abortion @ one point. However, one day I drove to my local chick fila and saw a mexican worker with 3 kids. I think to myself what type of man will I be, if I just took the easy way out and get an abortion. I'm sure you will come across harder things in life and you will be fine, if you plan it out with your family. Hopefully, one day people in IB don't have to worry about things like these, I can't imagine people in any other career that have to worry about asking their boss for parental leave. And, MD wonder why turnover in junior bankers so high...

Source: 3 year analyst @ a top Lev Fin team.

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I'm not sure if any women have commented on this post so far but I just wanted to give you some perspective. I've helped my sister when she had her baby 2 years ago and her husband was working around 70 hours a week. Raising a baby is an incredibly difficult task, and your partner will probably start resenting you if you keep up the banking lifestyle and hours after she gives birth. You have to sit down and have a talk with your partner about how your living situation is going to be. If she has her own job, who is going to help taking care of the kid, her family/your family, are you guys going to have a nanny? If she wants to be a full-time mom, that's good news but also tricky since for couples that have a stay-at-home mom, the dad usually only works 9-5. Make sure to manage expectations and let her know that you won't be able to help much or at all. The bright side is with your income, you can afford to hire care for the baby, but make sure that your partner knows how much you respect and appreciate her. Helping out a lot financially is a must so she doesn't resent you for never being at home with her and the baby. I'm not sure how old you or your partner are, but if you guys are in your early 20s as I am, I don't think myself or most people will be mature enough to juggle this type of situation very well. It's doable but you can only do it with a very mature, understanding and supportive partner.

I'd be wary of the one hardcore staffer that ms'ed this post ha. EB on the west coast does sound like a demanding group (because I instantly think Moelis LA for whatever reason). If you are confident that your child/family life will not interfere with the quality of work you produce- you need to communicate that to your staffer/ HR rep or whoever. This obviously means that your gf and family need to understand the toll this job can take on a man. Guess what I'm trying to say is that you will certainly not be fired if you work efficiently and somewhat prioritize your work- as awful as it sounds. 

I would not listen to all the negative posters. I joined banking as an associate last summer and had a baby shortly after. I took a month paternity leave and everyone at the bank I am at who has a baby does the same. Everyone I talked to encouraged me to take it and I think it is absolutely necessary.

I have been working 80-100 hr weeks since returning which has made things very difficult but it is doable. Being WFH has definitely helped. It would have been much more difficult if I was in the office every day. If I had to be in the office I would likely just leave around dinner time to be home and finish out my nights from home office so I could at least be around my kid evenings. Your teams will still expect you to work hard, but overall should be understanding if you are at a good bank. My experience has been that most teams are fine if you need to take an hour or more off for dinner so long as you make it up by working later (assuming you're not working on something time sensitive)

Your GF will need help and I would encourage having one of your parents stay with you for most of the first few months. Your GF will also likely not be able to work for at least the first year, but that's the advantage of banking. You will make great money right off the bat and if you last ~5 years in banking or PE you could be making $500k+ per year and will be able to support your family off a single income. To me that's the worth the sacrifice in terms of work life balance up front, but that decision is up to you. 

i would strongly recommend moving to tech or another industry w/less hours

congrats tho!

At least you got ur dick wet...so there's that 

I don't think firms will be back to work in place fully and may be alternating for analysts, like 1 week on 1 week WFH so maybe you can swing it. You'll just have way more demands.