Office Politics: An Introduction to the Kitchen
It would be of the utmost foolishness to deny the apparent and completely unjustifiable surge of women, or as they have been commonly known to society, “bare-foot-kitchen-workers” in the world of finance. It seems as though they have migrated from the kitchen to the shiny offices and they are here to stay; no matter how many times the “superior sex” screams at them to go back to the kitchen, they just will not listen.
For the majority of men, god’s gifts to humanity, dealing with women in the work place can be one of two things; it is either as easy as ABC or as intricate and complicated as figuring out the spiral, which is of course dependent on subject woman’s state of being and many variables including but not limited to: Menstrual cycle, latest issue of Cosmo, and insecurity flares induced by jealousy, boys, and body image issues.
For the rest of the “only deserving species”, those scared little boys, who revert to online blogs to complain about how incompetent women are in, and out, of their natural habitats (that is, the kitchen), here are a few tips to help you overcome your fears and will allow you to spend more time working and less time changing your soiled pants:
1- Don’t believe the rumors: women in the workplace, whether colleagues, subordinates, or bosses are not undercover “godzillas”. Eye contact will not awaken a beast, but might, in fact help you make a good impression. I shit you not, dear readers; women remember the little things like who was looking them in the eyes and who was looking at their boobs. When all is said and done, guess who gets a bigger bonus?
2- Never underestimate their power: The chick on your team who doesn’t say anything, because she is DUH too shy and is not a good fit for such an aggressive industry, I bet you she’s the only one who can get the copy center guys to finish the job on time. She is probably so comfortable expressing her feelings (laaaaaaame) that she has no problem telling HR about your crude jokes and sexual innuendos. Also, HR personnel? Yeah they’re all chicks.
3- Use them: A female boss is much more understanding of your physical need for sleep and food, talk to one if you experience symptoms of exhaustion and delirium. Your female colleague is more likely to listen to you bitch about that gold-digger girlfriend of yours, or even give you advice on your disgusting sense of style.
4- She is not incompetent despite what your little walnut-of-a-brain tells you: trust me; most women have better judgment than you do. Any given woman has an eye for detail, and they actually listen. So when the angry MD wants a three-statement model in a nano-second, you’ll spend the nano second bitching about it, and she will get it done. Cooperate with her, don’t treat her like a single cell organism or else she will kick your ass out of that door and will probably end up being your boss.
5- She is there for a reason: I am sure she went through the same interview process, with the same people, under the same circumstances. Her GPA is on par, or slightly better than yours, her resume is equally as impressive and she could’ve went into some liberal arts “cake” profession if she wanted to, but she didn’t; she chose finance, live with it, stop feeling bitter because *news flash*, it has nothing to do with your swinging dick, or lack thereof, and on behalf of women everywhere in the industry, we’d appreciate if you’d stop being a whiny little monkey.
Oh, and if you’ve got a problem, let’s take it outside.







Comments
I totally thought this thread
I totally thought this thread was going to be about people around the office not cleaning up shit in the bank kitchen.
There is some woman that I work with that is constantly bitching about people not wiping off the microwave. She isn't afraid to send out company wide emails about semi-expired food being left in the fridge either. She even made us start using name tags if/when we bring lunch into work. My response was label an old container of sauerkraut with her name and hide in the back of the fridge. That ought to teach her...
hot
hot
Rdonahue7: I totally thought
I totally thought this thread was going to be about people around the office not cleaning up shit in the bank kitchen.
There is some woman that I work with that is constantly bitching about people not wiping off the microwave. She isn't afraid to send out company wide emails about semi-expired food being left in the fridge either. She even made us start using name tags if/when we bring lunch into work. My response was label an old container of sauerkraut with her name and hide in the back of the fridge. That ought to teach her...
I thought so too. Love the idea for the food thieves/haters.
Is the cooking division
Is the cooking division front/mid office? One could argue that those Ramen noodles are the fuel behind a DCF.
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
This is a great post.
This is a great post.
Keep it together and you will go far..
Disincentivy: She is not
She is not incompetent despite what your little walnut-of-a-brain tells you: trust me; most women have better judgment than you do.
Now that's just sexist.
Oh, and if you’ve got a problem, let’s take it outside.
I wasn't aware there was a kitchen outside.
-_-
Robert Clayton Dean: What is happening?
Brill: I blew up the building.
Robert Clayton Dean: Why?
Brill: Because you made a phone call.
anyone who needs advice on
anyone who needs advice on this is a complete social retard
goodL1fe: I wasn't aware
I wasn't aware there was a kitchen outside. -_-
That automatically makes me the Master Chef - If you're not too slow, you might learn from me.
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
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Connor: Is the cooking
Is the cooking division front/mid office? One could argue that those Ramen noodles are the fuel behind a DCF.
whatwhatwhat seems to be an expert, maybe we should ask him?
I can safely say though: Ramen noodles are the fuel behind all things silly.
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
See my WSO blog posts
Forgot to tag Whiskey
Forgot to tag Whiskey
Sounds like OP could have
Sounds like OP could have this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scaAz1zcdXI
Here to learn and hopefully pass on some knowledge as well. SB if I helped.
Good post. HBS gives EQ as a
Good post.
HBS gives EQ as a the prevalent indicator of success in the workplace, and women just happen to have it in spades.
Women work twice as hard to prove they belong, and unfortunately for guys, instead of that being the status quo, people are starting to notice and promote them.
Mind you, most guys should know all this already. For all their anonymous stirring on WSO, I'm hoping none of them are stupid enough to be like this in an environment where HR could potentially get involved.
av8ter: Rdonahue7: I
I totally thought this thread was going to be about people around the office not cleaning up shit in the bank kitchen.
There is some woman that I work with that is constantly bitching about people not wiping off the microwave. She isn't afraid to send out company wide emails about semi-expired food being left in the fridge either. She even made us start using name tags if/when we bring lunch into work. My response was label an old container of sauerkraut with her name and hide in the back of the fridge. That ought to teach her...
I thought so too. Love the idea for the food thieves/haters.
Please do! People like this should be vilified. Also tell us how it goes.
meeeow
meeeow
"I want the last check I write to bounce."
goodL1fe: I wasn't aware
I wasn't aware there was a kitchen outside.
Commonly referred to as a barbecue and a hose
Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art - Andy Warhol
I'll
Robert Clayton Dean: What is happening?
Brill: I blew up the building.
Robert Clayton Dean: Why?
Brill: Because you made a phone call.
goodL1fe: I'll
RIP WSO Chat.
Awesome post.
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DrPeterVenkman: Awesome
RIP WSO Chat.
Febreeze: DrPeterVenkman: A
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Immortal1: meeeow For real.
"Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes."
TEX: Immortal1: meeeow For
RIP WSO Chat.
goodL1fe: I'll
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
See my WSO blog posts
Aimez: Good post. Mind you,
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
See my WSO blog posts
Disincentivy: goodL1fe: I'l
Suit #1: You know why they
Robert Clayton Dean: What is happening?
Brill: I blew up the building.
Robert Clayton Dean: Why?
Brill: Because you made a phone call.
There should be like a
You know you've been working too hard when you stop dreaming about bottles of champagne and hordes of naked women, and start dreaming about conditonal formatting and circular references.
Ah. The Douche is strong
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OP is definitely on the rag.
"I'm the luckiest guy in the world, and when I die I want to come back as me."
-Mark Cuban
ChrisHansen: OP is definitely
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Why do I get the feeling many
Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?
Nabooru: Why do I get the
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
See my WSO blog posts
I'm simply sick of us, males,
Greed is Good.
Konig, did you mean to post
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
See my WSO blog posts
Disincentivy: Konig, did you
Greed is Good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
So to summarize, I am weak,
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
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What if number 5 doesn't
sanjose04: What if number 5
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
See my WSO blog posts
"She is probably so
Financial Modeling Training
Guide to Finance Interviews
Banking Resume
There are a lot of Harvard
expenseaccounts: I don't care
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
See my WSO blog posts
Disincentivy: expenseaccoun
"Oh and if you've got a
cheese86: "Oh and if you've
RIP WSO Chat.
expenseaccounts: Little
I may not be on the Jedi Council, but I sure am great with the Force.
See my WSO blog posts
No problem with any of this