Why Your Salary Matters to HerST
mod (Andy) note: "Blast from the past - Best of Eddie" - This one is originally from January 2011 . If there's an old post from Eddie you'd like to see up again shoot me a message.
When women get together with their friends and talk about the new guy in their life, one of the first questions that always comes up is, "What does he do?", which - let's face it - is code for, "How much does he make?". Your salary matters to women. Going all the way back to caveman days, women have always sought mates who could protect and provide. It's no different today.
But in today's world of empowered females, why does your salary still matter so much? Professional women today earn as much and sometimes more than their male counterparts. Yet these women expect even more from their mates than women who don't make as much. What gives? Match.com has an interview that may shed some light on the subject.
They interviewed five professionals (three women and two guys) all aged 25-30. Not surprisingly, the women had the most to say on the subject. Regardless of how much money they personally made, they still want a man who can take care of them and pick up the tab. And they don't just want it, they expect it:
Haley: My current boyfriend pays for everything and I think I make more than he does, but I like it that way because it feels romantic, caring and chivalrous. Dating a man without money is really tough because you end up paying for everything and that wears on you after awhile.
Yeah, us guys know how you feel, honey.
So this made me curious. Does a woman's interest in your salary turn you off, or have you just come to expect it? I'm not talking about obvious gold-diggers here, I'm talking about regular women you might be romantically interested in. Do you prefer a woman to be coy about it, or would you rather she just ask you the straight-up numbers?
Let's face it: being the one with money in a relationship is empowering (though we all know that men don't ultimately have the real power in a relationship). Having money eliminates a certain amount (but not all) of relationship B.S. If nothing else, it gives you the power to say no to attending her idiot sorority sister's wedding in Hoboken. But what do you trade for that power?
I'll admit, I've been out of the dating scene for almost a decade now. And I married a woman who was at least my equal and really had her shit together, so finances have never been an issue. Plus, she's a Southern girl, so even if my money was ever a concern of hers she'd been raised with the gentility to never let me know it.
I'm interested to hear from you guys. Does it bother you that a woman expects to be taken care of? Or is that just the traditional male role? I'd love to hear from the female monkeys, too. Do you ladies in the business ever date "down"? What's it like to make more money than your boyfriend? And any male monkey's who date "up", what's it like to make less than your girlfriend? Is money still that big a dynamic in relationships?
I'll leave you with Beyoncé's take on the subject:
The Best of Braverman: Special offer for WSO readers only! Use coupon code 3off for $3 off at checkout!