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The following e-mail has been going around on the Street recently. I thought I might share it:

We are Wall Street. It's our job to make money. Whether it's a commodity, stock, bond, or some hypothetical piece of fake paper, it doesn't matter. We would trade baseball cards if it were profitable. I didn't hear America complaining when the market was roaring to 14,000 and everyone's 401k doubled every 3 years. Just like gambling, its not a problem until you lose. I've never heard of anyone going to Gamblers Anonymous because they won too much in Vegas.

Well now the market crapped out, & even though it has come back somewhat, the government and the average Joes are still looking for a scapegoat. God knows there has to be one for everything. Well, here we are.

Go ahead and continue to take us down, but you're only going to hurt yourselves. What's going to happen when we can't find jobs on the Street anymore? Guess what: We're going to take yours. We get up at 5am & work till 10pm or later. We're used to not getting up to pee when we have a position. We don't take an hour or more for a lunch break. We don't demand a union. We don't retire at 50 with a pension. We eat what we kill, and when the only thing left to eat is on your dinner plates, we'll eat that.

For years teachers and other unionized labor have had us fooled. We were too busy working to notice. Do you really think that we are incapable of teaching 3rd graders and doing landscaping? We're going to take your cushy jobs with tenure and 4 months off a year and whine just like you that we are so-o-o-o underpaid for building the youth of America. Say goodbye to your overtime and double time and a half. I'll be hitting grounders to the high school baseball team for $5k extra a summer, thank you very much.

So now that we're going to be making $85k a year without upside, Joe Mainstreet is going to have his revenge, right? Wrong! Guess what: we're going to stop buying the new 80k car, we aren't going to leave the 35 percent tip at our business dinners anymore. No more free rides on our backs. We're going to landscape our own back yards, wash our cars with a garden hose in our driveways. Our money was your money. You spent it. When our money dries up, so does yours.

The difference is, you lived off of it, we rejoiced in it. The Obama administration and the Democratic National Committee might get their way and knock us off the top of the pyramid, but it's really going to hurt like hell for them when our fat a**es land directly on the middle class of America and knock them to the bottom.

We aren't dinosaurs. We are smarter and more vicious than that, and we are going to survive. The question is, now that Obama & his administration are making Joe Mainstreet our food supply...will he? and will they?
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=YWE4YmE2Y...

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Comments (102)

  • Gekko21's picture

    Couldn't have said it better.

    "Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, for knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."

  • LIFinancier's picture

    saw this earlier, I def.. agree with most of this

  • CaptK's picture

    That is fantastic. 10 points to whomever the author is. Can you imagine the reaction if Jamie Dimon published this on the front page of the WSJ with his smiling portrait next to it?

    - Capt K -
    "Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham

  • coffeebateman's picture

    If I was from Jersey, I'd be fist pumping right now....fuck it I'll do it anyway.

    --------------------------------------------------------
    "I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcom

  • phoenix456's picture

    OH SHITTTTTT

    did anyone else think of John Galt and Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged after reading that piece?

    damn that's what i thought of immediately, anyways.

  • design's picture
  • coffeebateman's picture

    This needs to be on the front page. This is what WSO is about.

    GET IT DONE PATRICK!

    --------------------------------------------------------
    "I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcom

  • TNA's picture

    This is on dealbreaker. Personally, I whole heartedly agree. Very interesting the reactions on that site though.

  • In reply to TNA
    coffeebateman's picture

    This is on dealbreaker. Personally, I whole heartedly agree. Very interesting the reactions on that site though.

    Why the hell do non-finance types post on dealbreaker? Idiots.

    --------------------------------------------------------
    "I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcom

  • bkwr83's picture

    could not have been said better.

  • youngmonkey's picture

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  • sick_willy's picture

    that's awesome.

    ---------------------------
    BossMode

  • coffeebateman's picture

    I think this needs to be the pic on this thread:
    http://www.firstpeople.us/pictures/eagles/1024x768...

    After all, birds evolved from dinosaurs and now they just shit on ordinary people. Just like bankers.

    --------------------------------------------------------
    "I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcom

  • ke18sb's picture

    Personally, I must disagree. I find these posts/emails/thoughts so sophomoric, egocentric and ill-informed. Everything about the email is just utterly ridiculous. I could tear it apart line by line but why waste the time or energy. If I had to guess, this email wasn't written by a highly educated, intelligent and sophisticated financier but rather a glorified salesman that happens to work in finance; while I could be wrong, I hope I'm not.

    Its not surprising that when I systematically checked all of the above posters user profiles, basically everyone was a "Prospective Monkey". Stop mentally masturbating the dream of being a hitter, and saying stuff like "awesome", "props", "OH SHITTTTT" and "beautiful" in reaction to "taking on the man". Is this a finance forum or a 7th grade notebook with Anarchy doodles scribbled in between class notes.

  • MMBinNC's picture

    Love this so much...words cannot describe it. Although I doubt many I-Bankers would become teachers even if that was the only employable profession left

    Reality hits you hard, bro...

  • mxc's picture

    I think the author has a point when he reminds us that, if high paying jobs in finance that no one else wants go away, then would-have-been bankers will simply compete for the next most prestigious/well-paid/... jobs.

  • TraderNY's picture

    Wow! Well said

    "I wanna Thank the Good Lord for Making me a Capitalist"

  • TraderNY's picture

    ke18sb, what is the problem with what's being said?

    "I wanna Thank the Good Lord for Making me a Capitalist"

  • blastoise's picture

    Only problem I can see with what is being said is in order for those big paying jobs you need more education. Could a banker really work 4+ years writing a dissertation to get a Ph.d?

  • Bottles and DCF Models's picture

    Man, Obama is doing what he has to do on this one. He doesn't want to see Wall Street crumble, he just wants to curb the abuses that have been going on.

    Furthermore, the IB talent pool would not move on to pedestrian jobs like teaching and lanscaping. The people who would have to worry are consulting, Big 4 Accounting, commercial banking.

  • big unit's picture

    Yeah I agree with this - it is pretty douchy but people are like "People on Wall Street have no tangible skills" - this is the most asinine comment ever. Especially when politicians who suck D for a living and lie constantly are the ones making it. I'm glad a couple of senators understood hedging during the GS breakdown (FYI I worked at a lesser rival, they pay the same to juniors though so no grudges)

    Like that senator from Montana who was like - if you asked me about farming, I could explain farming, so why can't you do that with structured financial products??? DAAAAAR. Farming is humanity's FIRST industry, well maybe after hunting, fishing, and slaying. And they ARE explaining it, your associates degree from Devry in business planning might be holding you back from grasping these concepts.

    Its like dude...I could not know shit...in fact, I could not have read a single book about what you are doing...but we're smart enough to learn your job and in a month be better at it than you in every way...I'll go back to college and get a photoengraving degree and take your job, mister grimy politician.

    My friends who are teachers always joke about how easy their jobs are - their biggest concern is getting back home by 3 pm.

    THREE PM IS THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY IN TRADING

  • levelworm's picture

    Two points:

    1. Hard-working people should be respected, not to be hated by colleagues.

    2. I'd like to see more of you guys to become professors/teachers/engineers/etc., but avoid the heavily unionized trenches.

  • 1.21 gigawatts's picture

    Thank you! Let's not forget either that New York City, the biggest city in the U.S., was founded with only one purpose in mind - TO MAKE MONEY - and it has been that way for 400 years!

  • holymonkey's picture

    If Wall Streeters were so smart they wouldn't be so reckless. The negligence of the subprime lenders is criminal. The negligence of the banks that peddled those junk bonds as A rated securities is even more criminal. I'm not faulting Goldman for hedging its risks-any smart bank should. But seriously, did nobody really think to ask "Wait, we didn't check their credit, we don't know what their income is, and we don't know how much the collateral's worth-is this really a good credit risk?"

    One more thing-don't sell products you don't understand. I personally would never buy anything from a salesperson that doesn't know their product inside out, upside down, forwards and backwards, and every which other way.

    "We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

  • ke18sb's picture

    So here it goes then. Why I think this is a pathetic ramblings of an uneducated douche bag.

    We are Wall Street. It's our job to make money....Just like gambling, its not a problem until you lose...well now the market crapped out....well here we are

    The first two paragraphs make finance sound unsophisticated. Its almost as if the writer is conceding all it was is a giant bet that lost. This makes finance sound simplistic while making the traders that lost come off as unintelligent gamblers that ran out of luck. He is implying that traders were just playing a game and lost and people should stop whining about it. Its asinine for 2 reasons. One, finance is not that trivial. Two, if it is, then your'e admitting that traders aren't a cut above the rest, rather people that was given the keys to a car that they didn't know how to drive.

    What's going to happen when we can't find jobs on the Street anymore? Guess what: We're going to take yours. We get up at 5am & work till 10pm or later. We're used to not getting up to pee when we have a position. We don't take an hour or more for a lunch break. We don't demand a union. We don't retire at 50 with a pension. We eat what we kill, and when the only thing left to eat is on your dinner plates, we'll eat that.

    Yes, certainty you are going to apply your work ethic to a non-financially lucrative field. As if its your ethos driving you to work so hard is not the money. Laughable.

    For years teachers and other unionized labor have had us fooled. We were too busy working to notice. Do you really think that we are incapable of teaching 3rd graders and doing landscaping? We're going to take your cushy jobs with tenure and 4 months off a year and whine just like you that we are so-o-o-o underpaid for building the youth of America. Say goodbye to your overtime and double time and a half. I'll be hitting grounders to the high school baseball team for $5k extra a summer, thank you very much.

    It's presumptions to assume that the same skill set to banking applies to teaching and manual labor. Just because you can sell junk bonds don't mean you can connect and educate children. Nor does it imply that you would be capable of doing manual labor for shitty pay. Not to mention if the author would to take on such low paying professions I'm sure he would do all of the overtime off the clock as he implies.

    So now that we're going to be making $85k a year without upside, Joe Mainstreet is going to have his revenge, right? Wrong! Guess what: we're going to stop buying the new 80k car, we aren't going to leave the 35 percent tip at our business dinners anymore. No more free rides on our backs. We're going to landscape our own back yards, wash our cars with a garden hose in our driveways. Our money was your money. You spent it. When our money dries up, so does yours.

    No one is getting a free ride of a bankers back. If a banker is hiring a service provider they are working hard for their money and usually at a low wage. Seeing as though outrageous bonus levels are a relatively new thing, and that both wall street and main street have been doing just fine for the past several decades, I'm pretty sure that the well being of the non finance professionals, whether white or blue collar will be just fine.

    The difference is, you lived off of it, we rejoiced in it. The Obama administration and the Democratic National Committee might get their way and knock us off the top of the pyramid, but it's really going to hurt like hell for them when our fat a**es land directly on the middle class of America and knock them to the bottom.

    Again presumptuously implying that he will knock the middle class down a level. What does that even mean. The tens of thousands of traders are going displace the tens of millions of middle class workers who will just become magically poor.

    We aren't dinosaurs. We are smarter and more vicious than that, and we are going to survive. The question is, now that Obama & his administration are making Joe Mainstreet our food supply...will he? and will they?

    Yes, you are so intelligent. Smart enough to come up with a nonsensical rant that reeks of douche bag yet does not provide any factual support and merely offers outrageous assumptions. I find it so disgusting how some people in finance are so pathetically narcissistic. Finance isn't the best of the best. That would be engineers, doctors, innovators, entrepreneurs or those that follow their true passions regardless of the pay. Not hating on finance, as I'm in it, rather pointing out that some people in finance think they are god's gift to civilization when they are nothing of the sort.

    Stop drinking our own Koolaid.

  • In reply to holymonkey
    Tommy Vercetti's picture

    holymonkey:

    One more thing-don't sell products you don't understand. I personally would never buy anything from a salesperson that doesn't know their product inside out, upside down, forwards and backwards, and every which other way.

    The problem with this line of thought is that you only realize you don't understand the product when something has gone wrong.

  • powerwso's picture

    We are Wall Street. waws?

    Carry on...

  • kalice123's picture

    well said. i'm glad somebody had the cajones to say it (too bad it's anonymous though, although i can certainly understand and don't blame the writer for staying anonymous).

    the one thing that he/she missed that i think should be added is that, during normal economy, the tax revenues generated off of financial services business activities and people working in finance are enormous. it was us financing larger than our fair share of the social services and public infrastructures that the "average joes" enjoyed for years. it's not a surprise that NYC is facing multi-billion dollar budget deficits this year.

    also, bankers, traders, asset managers, etc. have been some of the largest benefactors of charities and non-profit organizations.

    this is exactly my problem with the american society today: people love to point fingers and blame others for their problems. americans don't like to take hard looks at themselves and place some of the blame on themselves.

    as far as i know, no "banker" has ever pointed a gun at someone's head and said "your entire family makes $70k a year combined, but you better sign this loan to buy that $2 million house or i'm gonna bust some caps"

  • In reply to Tommy Vercetti
    Slacker23's picture

    holymonkey:

    One more thing-don't sell products you don't understand. I personally would never buy anything from a salesperson that doesn't know their product inside out, upside down, forwards and backwards, and every which other way.

    I know I don't truly understand any piece of technology more sophisticated than a lightbulb. Car salesmen don't know how to put together an engine. TV salesmen don't understand how plasma screens works. The American Airlines travel agent can't explain how a plane flies. And mortgage brokers don't understand how CDOs work. I wouldn't expect them to. A very basic understanding maybe, but not all the details.

    It's not reasonable to expect sales people to understand everything about what they sell. That's just the consequence of advanced products (financial or otherwise).

  • big unit's picture

    I could teach 500 3rd graders and replace the jobs of 12 teachers myself - thats sort of an exaggeration but seriously its not hard to be a teacher. Trust me, bottom 25% of my HS class is all about going into teaching. I am friends with a lot of them, they know they aren't smart and they don't care about their jobs. They always joke about how they are 'dumb enough to be teachers' because of how frustrating it would be if they were Type A go getters.

  • In reply to Slacker23
    holymonkey's picture

    Slacker23:
    holymonkey:

    One more thing-don't sell products you don't understand. I personally would never buy anything from a salesperson that doesn't know their product inside out, upside down, forwards and backwards, and every which other way.

    I know I don't truly understand any piece of technology more sophisticated than a lightbulb. Car salesmen don't know how to put together an engine. TV salesmen don't understand how plasma screens works. The American Airlines travel agent can't explain how a plane flies. And mortgage brokers don't understand how CDOs work. I wouldn't expect them to. A very basic understanding maybe, but not all the details.

    It's not reasonable to expect sales people to understand everything about what they sell. That's just the consequence of advanced products (financial or otherwise).

    Car salesmen sell cars, not engines. TV salesmen better understand how plasma screens work, and be able to tell the customer exactly what it means to the customer in a way that customers care about. The AA travel agent sells plane tickets, not planes. The mortgage broker sells mortgages, not CDO's. The bank peddling CDO's better understand what they're selling. Boeing better know how their planes are put together. Toyota better know how their engines are put together.

    "We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

  • holymonkey's picture

    And Wall Street is more like you take what other people kill, convert it into paper, print a whole bunch of it, then eat a chunk of the kill you've been trusted with.

    "We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

  • CaptK's picture

    The comment about not buying something from a salesman that doesn't understand what he is selling is totally backward. Of course you would buy a financial product the salesman didn't understand, especially if you felt as though you understood it better than he did.

    That is the entire ethos of Wall Street and trading - anyone that enters into a financial trade feels like he is the smart guy in the room, that he understands the product he is buying and its outlook better than the seller. After all, he must - if he didn't why would he be buying?

    If somebody is selling something he doesn't understand and you feel he has undervalued it, that's not called fraud - that's called blood in the water. Clearly the buyers felt they were purchasing something they understood better than the seller - just turns out they were wrong. Oops.

    Every transaction is a bet - that you'll win and your counterparty will lose. So clearly you hope your counterparty is as dumb as possible. Everyone involved in these complex mortgage deals were sophisticated investors that understand these dynamics. And if they didn't... well as the saying goes, there is dumb money at every table and if you don't know who it is - it's you.

    - Capt K -
    "Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham

  • The Phantom's picture

    I have a friend who wants to be a high school counselor (her dream job). She graduated from a very good public school @ one of the wealthiest communities in the US. She finished high school with 3.8 - 3.9 unweighted GPA. Her sophomore year in college she thought US was the largest country in the world by area. She graduated college with 3.7+. True story I swear.

    Out of all the teachers I've had, only one made a true impact on me (US History). Funny thing is, now he is in finance (wealth management).

  • MBAApply's picture

    Have you guys ever considered that you're being punked?

    Yes, this is an over-the-top viewpoint of what some folks on Wall Street may feel, but it's no less hyperbolic than what Stephen Colbert or Borat does with neo-conservatives. Those of you who are nodding your heads in agreement are being had on a punchline that the original author of this email likely intended. The fact that so many of you guys are even agreeing to this is what the author wants - it's meant to incite and to make you guys look like complete douchebags to everyone else who isn't on Wall Street - the more you guys voice your support for this kind of sentiment, the worse you will come across without even realizing it.

    It's a Gordon Gekko caricature (if that is even possible - and a fictional character no less), taking the smugness, nihilism, arrogance, presumption and self-importance to a more extreme level than reality. It's taking every single character trait people HATE about Wall Street and encapsulating it (a little to neatly) into an email.

    Parody is at its most effective when the intended target doesn't even realize that they're being parodied.

  • straightcashhomie's picture

    Obviously main street is outraged. This is when we show how much smarter we are by nodding our heads, saying sorry, accepting some half-shit reform and moving on with our lives...business pretty much as usual. Getting angry and insulting the majority of americans is a great way of getting a big dick in the ass.

  • Barbarian's picture

    Who cares if Main Street is outraged? 50% pay 0 Fed Income Taxes.

    The whole issue boils down to 2 causes:

    1) Moral Hazard. Regulation ain't gonna do shit as long as the financial service firms know in the back of their minds that if they royally fk up, big brotha is coming.

    2) Zero skin in the game. Of course rating agencies didn't work - they got paid by the wrong people. Of course there is populist outrage. Its win win for them. Don't have money in the game, jealous of success. I

    And the email was balling.

    And yall might want to open up your knowledge baskets cuz imma gonna keep droppin wisdom in them.

    __________________________
    if you ain't first, you last

  • The Phantom's picture

    As someone said, "you cannot fix stupid."

    Telling everyone to fcuk off will not make anything better, but only show extreme level of arrogance.

  • moneyneversleeps2's picture

    @MBAApply - Every joke/parody/sarcasm has some truth to it. As self-righteous, oblivious and borderline ignorant that writer makes Bankers look , there is alot of truth to what he says. If Alice in Wonderland (Obama) brings down Wall Street, he's hurting Main Street more than he is hurting any seasoned Banker. Say what you want about Bankers but we know how to work long hours, come up with fancy speeches to sell a product for more than it's worth and let's face it unless you're working as a financial analyst at some bottom of the barrel community bank, you had to have graduated with a decent degree from a decent school.

    Obviously wall St has always made Bankers/Traders seem like they are the smartest people on earth to justify the salaries. How else would you explain a 28 year old making half a mil bc he knows how to buy low and sell high?! Or paying a 23 yr old 70k a year to plug numbers into excel and run to Starbucks all day/night when his diploma hasn't even been printed yet. But as the person who wrote that rant stated, when a banker eats, everybody eats. I am far from being an 8-figure a year hot shot and even I tip extremely generously, have a maid, grocery delivery guy, am on a first name basis with the shoe girls at Saks and have a dog walker. I have helped pay for family members' tuition, soccer lessons, you name it. And when the earth quake hit Haiti, every last person in my department donated at least $500 simply bc one of the client service girls is haitian. I am grateful to have a job that allows me enough financial freedom to help others so I do. So imagine how many little fish are eating off the earnings of a Big fish like Fabrice Tourre or Andrew Hall?

    I know 6 guys who left banking after Lehman died and they literally waltzed right into McKinsey, Apple, Accenture, Bain, etc And out of those 6, 4 of them had positions created for them with 100k + base salaries. Who do you think that hurt? Main Street. In order for a company like Accenture to make room for a $120k+ comp, that's 3- $40k positions that will either be eliminated or not filled to begin with.

    The reason why I liked that rant is bc someone is finally showing what would really happen to Main Street is wall St comes crumbling down.. America has fallen into Obama's trap. He's yapping on and on about Wall Street to distract from the fact that he's less than stellar as a president. Does Wall Street need reform? Absolutely. We choked on our own Kool-Aid. But hammering down on us completely, won't fix anything.

  • aquamarinee's picture

    Silver banana to moneyneversleeps2. Completely agree.

  • In reply to CaptK
    holymonkey's picture

    CaptK:
    The comment about not buying something from a salesman that doesn't understand what he is selling is totally backward. Of course you would buy a financial product the salesman didn't understand, especially if you felt as though you understood it better than he did.

    That is the entire ethos of Wall Street and trading - anyone that enters into a financial trade feels like he is the smart guy in the room, that he understands the product he is buying and its outlook better than the seller. After all, he must - if he didn't why would he be buying?

    If somebody is selling something he doesn't understand and you feel he has undervalued it, that's not called fraud - that's called blood in the water. Clearly the buyers felt they were purchasing something they understood better than the seller - just turns out they were wrong. Oops.

    Every transaction is a bet - that you'll win and your counterparty will lose. So clearly you hope your counterparty is as dumb as possible. Everyone involved in these complex mortgage deals were sophisticated investors that understand these dynamics. And if they didn't... well as the saying goes, there is dumb money at every table and if you don't know who it is - it's you.

    Which makes the basic premise of finance a gamble.

    Having seen the Great Recession and having lost a bit of money myself, I for one will never be buying any financial instrument that isn't guaranteed.

    "We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

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