Competition is generally thought of as a good thing but too much of a good thing isn’t good for too long. I was brought up in the kind of intense academic environment where competition gives way to rivalry, sabotage and one-upmanship. Many of you may be part of a similar environment right now. My advice to you, for what its worth, is this – you HAVE TO help others grow because that is the only way you can succeed.
I had a friend in college who went out of his way to help others. The school I went to is well known for its academic rigour and the intensity of this pressure wilted the most strong-willed among us. In this environment, I saw my friend, not once but time and again, take significant personal setbacks to help his colleagues. As much as it surprised me, I could not help but admire that man. In his actions and choices during moments of academic stress, I saw more courage and leadership than I did in years of ‘leadership’ bullet points that graced the resumes of the most cowardly among us. He was far from being the smartest or the most athletic in our class but he had more ‘character’ than most of us put together.
At work, I have noticed that most people who really ‘know their stuff’ are always willing (and feel secure) to help others. In fact, I take it as a rule that those who feel too insecure to help others are generally incompetent in providing much help. People who are really good at their vocation do not compete with a finite set of colleagues. Their competition, if any, is with the entire world, with time and with the limits of their own ability. They recognise that the best way to learn is to teach and as a result, they develop a bias towards helping others. At least this is something that I have observed in almost everyone I admire.
Different people have different priorities in life. For many in this industry, work will take up a significant part of their time and will therefore become a priority by default. I truly believe that if it is worth spending so much time on, it is worth going all the way for to develop genuine expertise in. Teaching others is a certain way of developing such expertise. This brings me back to the logical conclusion that you HAVE TO help others grow in order to succeed. The added advantage of this approach is that few will grudge you your success and you will have friends in both success and failure.
I am not very good at expressing myself and the essay may have struck you as silly, disconnected, unconvincing or boring. The key message that I wish to get across is this – if you don’t do it already, just try going out of your way to help others grow. It is a difficult thing to do and I must confess that I have often found myself lacking the character to adopt this approach. But I will also confess that I have observed far too many examples to be convinced that this is the right approach to aim for.
I disagree with you about the "silly, disconnected" part. I think you are very much spot on the importance of helping other grow. That is what leadership is all about.
I think it is important to note that there is a marked difference between helping others and their professional development and going out of your way and setting yourself back by helping them. In my opinion, if you are significantly setting yourself back that is not a good position to be in if you are trying to advance your career. Sure, you may be the most popular person in the company but you'll also end up being the underpaid, under promoted guy who just can't understand why they are in that position even though everyone loves them and they do a ton of work. There is a very fine line and I want to make sure that you don't confuse the two.
This is great to keep in mind and I'm glad that you wrote something like this up because everyone, from time to time, needs to remember that giving back is an important part of getting ahead. Just don't give things you can't afford to give. Give as much advice and help as you can without hindering your own opportunities.
I remember this cartoon from when I was a kid that centered on Ebenezer Scrooge the Christmas after the ghosts visited him and he changed his ways. The next Christmas they came back to haunt him because he became an absolute pushover, was giving everything away and was going to be broke and homeless so they came back to bring him to the center.
It's important not to go to the extreme of helping others to the complete detriment of your own well being just as it's important to not to be the backstabbing ass who will screw everyone over to get ahead. In my experience neither will get far. It's obvious why the former will not succeed and no one will trust or like the latter or be a good part of any team, all of which are very important ingredients of success.
Most of the time work (and life overall) isn't a zero sum game where one has to lose for the other to succeed. But it's very important to know when it is a zero sum game and make sure you win when it is. When there are three people up for a promotion for one spot, it's not wise to overtly help one of the other two guys just like if you're an MLB pitcher it's not wise to lob a 50 mph pitch in the bottom of the 9th with two men on and your team's up by 2. That doesn't mean you bean the guy in the head or juice up and cheat, but you throw your best stuff.
I agree about helping others to grow, but competition is good, you must try working in a place where you're the only smart guy in the room, rest of people are either under-educated, Jurassic-era mentality, or thinks he is better than you because he drinks fancier beer. And then look how i feel
Good post Stalagmite! I'm not in the IBD sector but I do work for an F500 O&G company. This industry just like financial services and banking can be just as cutthroat. With crude and gas prices so low and not much activity its easy for people to get into the mentality that if they help others they will somehow outshine them and enable them to get promoted and or lose their job while the person they helped moves up.
At the end of the day helping others enables you to develop relationships and earn allies. If not then at least earn yourself some good karma (or silver bananas). It may sound silly but I firmly believe in "What goes around, comes around."
Current crude prices are making us upcoming petroleum engineers very, very nervous.
I completely agree that at the end of the day competition is between you and the people in your surroundings but really your competing with everyone
Those who are admired aren't necessarily successful
Thanks for all your comments. I'll raise a dissenting voice to the sentiment that while it's good to help others generally, sometimes (such as when it's you vs. the other person for a promotion) it is better to be competitive and 'watch your back' as they say.
The first reason is that I have observed people are more perceptive than we think they are and acts of kindness/selfishness are almost always noticed. You can be as discreet as you like but it is difficult to prevent people from figuring out your inclinations one way or the other.
The second reason is that being in an auto-pilot mode where you consistenty help others frees up a lot of mental space which is is a good long term strategy. You may very well miss out on that promotion but it is not the end of the world and in the long term, you will come out ahead. This is because when you help others, others will help you which means you will learn more. You will also be consistently focussed on your job and on your skills rather than on outmaneovering others. And finally you will always feel good about yourself, stay motivated with a clear conscience and likely be driven more on what really matters (improving your skills). I think these are important things and their impact should not be underestimated.
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