KRACH: The French Take Wall Street

The French have a whimsical knack for unintentional humor that never ceases to amaze me. And you guys are going to want to sit down for this one. On September 1, the movie Krach (which can only be pronounced "crotch" by anglophones) is going to light the trading world on fire - at least in France. I've posted the trailer after the jump, and even if you don't speak French there's more than enough English in it to get the gist of the movie.

This movie looks hilarious, though it isn't meant to. It features a dashing young French trader (cast more like James Bond than a true quant Poindexter) besting his evil American nemesis (an old, bloated, almost-simian Michael Madsen), who fired him for losing a bundle when the kid worked for him.

It is French angst and revisionist cinema at its finest. Presumably modeled after Jerome Kerviel, the French have made him a financial superhero instead of the $3,000 a month GeekSquad employee that he is in real life. The character outwits, outmaneuvers, and outsexes his furiously incompetent American counterpart. And he manages to do it without blaming his superiors and inventing imaginary friends. Mais oui!

Sadly, as lame and contrived as it looks, it will still probably be better than Shia LaDouche's turn in Wall Street 2. Enjoy:

After all, who doesn't love a little crotch?

28 Comments
 

I think Krach might be better than WS2, albeit a different genre. I hope I'm not alone in wishing it was someone other than Shia LaBeouf in the cast. A real trader would have dined on fox-flesh moments after the arbitrage presented herself. Seriousness aside, both films should be great.

 
TherrmannI think James Franco would have been perfect for the role. I hate Labeouf with a passion

I agree about Shia Labeouf, but disagree about Franco. I feel Franco would look too old next to Carey Mulligan (the girl playing Gecko's daughter) and for some reason I couldn't imagine him on Wall Street.

I vote for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." - J. Paul Getty
 

Why is everyone hating on Shia? Is it Megan Fox envy? I heard the kid really committed himself to this role and put in a lot of extra time learning the ropes, albeit to a basic level, but still.

 

hold on, the good guy is essentially a dude who lost his firm $30mm? What are they supposed to NOT fire the dude after losing so much of their money? This is possibly the stupidest movie premise I have ever seen

Reality hits you hard, bro...
 
MMBinNChold on, the good guy is essentially a dude who lost his firm $30mm? What are they supposed to NOT fire the dude after losing so much of their money? This is possibly the stupidest movie premise I have ever seen

In France there is outrage when anybody gets fired.

 
futuramo
MMBinNChold on, the good guy is essentially a dude who lost his firm $30mm? What are they supposed to NOT fire the dude after losing so much of their money? This is possibly the stupidest movie premise I have ever seen

In France there is outrage when anybody gets fired.

Really? A country that gives an average of 8 weeks of vacation and by law only allows you to work 35 hours? France is a weird place (as the trailer suggests to some viewers)

 
Edmundo BravermanThe French have a whimsical knack for unintentional humor that never ceases to amaze me. And you guys are going to want to sit down for this one. On September 1, the movie Krach (which can only be pronounced "crotch" by anglophones) is going to light the trading world on fire - at least in France. I've posted the trailer after the jump, and even if you don't speak French there's more than enough English in it to get the gist of the movie.

This movie looks hilarious, though it isn't meant to. It features a dashing young French trader (cast more like James Bond than a true quant Poindexter) besting his evil American nemesis (an old, bloated, almost-simian Michael Madsen), who fired him for losing a bundle when the kid worked for him. It is French angst and revisionist cinema at its finest. Presumably modeled after Jerome Kerviel, the French have made him a financial superhero instead of the $3,000 a month GeekSquad employee that he is in real life. The character outwits, outmaneuvers, and outsexes his furiously incompetent American counterpart. And he manages to do it without blaming his superiors and inventing imaginary friends. Mais oui!

Sadly, as lame and contrived as it looks, it will still probably be better than Shia LaDouche's turn in Wall Street 2. Enjoy:

After all, who doesn't love a little crotch?

Let's get a couple of things straight:

  1. it's a trailer
  2. you don't speak French

How can you possibly dismiss this movie straight off the bat?

 
Audio

Let's get a couple of things straight:

  1. it's a trailer
  2. you don't speak French

How can you possibly dismiss this movie straight off the bat?

  1. Trailers are almost always better than the actual movie. So, to continue this syllogism, the movie is probably worse than the trailer. Thus, because the trailer itself is pretty awful, we make estimations of how the movie will turn out.

  2. Edmundo LIVES in Paris. I'm not completely sure s'il parle francais, but I'm sure he has at least a basic understanding of what's going on in the trailer. Furthermore, I DO speak french and can tell you that non-speakers aren't missing some great gem of a cinematic masterpiece.

This movie will flop.

"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." - J. Paul Getty
 
San Franciscan
Audio

Let's get a couple of things straight:

  1. it's a trailer
  2. you don't speak French

How can you possibly dismiss this movie straight off the bat?

  1. Trailers are almost always better than the actual movie. So, to continue this syllogism, the movie is probably worse than the trailer. Thus, because the trailer itself is pretty awful, we make estimations of how the movie will turn out.

  2. Edmundo LIVES in Paris. I'm not completely sure s'il parle francais, but I'm sure he has at least a basic understanding of what's going on in the trailer. Furthermore, I DO speak french and can tell you that non-speakers aren't missing some great gem of a cinematic masterpiece.

This movie will flop.

Apologies to Edmundo s'il parle francais, I assumed from his post that he didn't. Mes excuses.

True about trailers, although I didn't think the trailer was that bad - I think you are more worried about the French film production quality in general, which I understand - it hasn't been great lately. But I still think this could be all right as a movie, if it describes Wall Street properly - and that's hard / impossible to tell from the trailer (unless I'm missing something)

Or maybe I just don't want it to flop since the subject is cool :-)

 

the trailer is better than wso 2.

I don't want to be a product of the environment, i want the environment to be a product of me
 
Samy90the trailer is better than wso 2.

I think you just mean, ws 2.

As far as I'm aware, Patrick isn't coming out with a sequel to this website (WSO).

"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." - J. Paul Getty
 

No worries man. I should have mentioned that even though I think it will flop, I'll probably still see it anyway, haha.

"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." - J. Paul Getty
 
Best Response

For the record, I do speak French, and overall I think French film quality is pretty decent and better than studio Hollywood in a lot of ways. More intelligent subject matter, anyway. If you doubt it, go rent Tell No One.

That said, I think Krach will be a stinker because it's so difficult to capture the essence of Wall Street in a film. In fact, the movie Wall Street is the only one which really succeeded in my book so far, without looking like some kind of caricature. Boiler Room was a close second as far as realism.

To me (and I will see Krach just to see Mr. Blonde run a trading floor), this movie just looks like a French version of the movie Dealers, which was bloody awful.

 

This shit happens when French film makers copy Hollywood...

"Krach": For the record, it's the the correct name for "financial burst" > "le Krack de 1929" = "The Great Depression of 1929"...

 

This reminds me of a French "Navy Seals" more than an actual Wall Street film. It's a calculated, shameless pitch to the European inferiority complex regarding American-style finance, capitalism and business. Look at the buttons it's meant to push. Loathing of the Ugly American waving the flag? Check. Loathing of the testosterone-infused gung-ho culture (as viewed by a European)? Check. Loathing of comments reminiscent of global imperialism with no interest in the world? Check. Disastrous and sloppy American dress-sense vs the all-black "sexy" shirt-open chest-hair Continental look? Check. The same bespectacled armchair intellectuals who lambast the evils of market speculation will cheer at the protagonist's maneouvres against Madsen's firm. If it were actually any good as a film (doesn't look it), you'll get a tepid revival of the "get a hard-on while answering 'c'est la France' to any questions regarding local eccentricities" penchant, and more inanity from a Sarkozy reinvigorated by his new heels.

The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd.
 

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If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

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