Tips for Managing Anxiety/'Real World Realisations'/'Riches to Rags'
Hey Guys,
Sort of a random post from a tipsy B4 auditor in the UK. the TL;DR of this is that I have a really important year coming up which is really going to determine the future trajectory of my life/earnings, I'm being plagued by a lot of negative thoughts that are weighing me down, and I want some advice from people with somewhat similar socioeconomic (and even just economic) backgrounds as me, otherwise I feel like I'm gonna go insane.
Ok so there's 2 parts to this. First is that I've slowly been realising that achieving the same lifestyle (or even half of it) as I had growing up (son of mid'ish level diplomat who sort of coasted through a career, to be completely honest) is going to be almost impossible, something I didn't know until basically this year (I'm a 27 year-old third year staff auditor at a B4 firm). I mean guys, I'm making £29k for a third year in a row (all I have is £5k in a current account), and my school in DC cost $40k/yr (smth like Sidwell), it's fucking pathetic. I fell into this profession after not taking internships etc. seriously enough during my degrees at 2 UK target schools (second of which was a joke that I'm dreading having to explain to future consulting interviewers), and I'm realising that it'll be tough to get a good job that I actually want once I'm finally done with this bs piece of paper (I made another more serious thread about this so check that out). I look at managers and senior managers (mostly from third world countries) and feel nothing but pity at both them and myself for being in this situation. Even if I excel, the best case scenario involves a house in some crap suburb in Kent and scraping everything together to send my 2 future kids to some £20k/year school which doesn't even have a tennis team (I know I know, it's not important, but come on, I'd be pissed if my kids had a worse education than me, academics is something I always excelled in). I just don't know what to look forward to in life, tbh. It just feels like it's going to be a dreadful existence doing some bullshit work and not making any memories, and I feel like all my worrying and effort in the past (getting a 42 in the IB) was for nothing. I'm beginning to be excluded from activities with friends because of money too (i.e. skiing trips), which again feels fucking pathetic. Anyway, all this fear/realisation is really clouding a lot of my judgment/mind.
The second part of is that I'm just a shitty person. I feel like I've just pissed away the years from 21-27 watching Netflix and feeling sorry for myself. I don't work out at all, I don't budget as I feel like it's beneath me (though this is partly defensible as my salary will more than double if I move to MBB/T2 consulting), I don't really generally care about anything except money and prestige nowadays and I judge other people very quickly (see above). My wardrobe is worth more (brand new, not now) than all the money I personally have, and my only hobby is asking my father to buy me things even though he's retired in his small hometown in Portugal (I don't even speak Portuguese lol). I'm just a pos human being.
I don't even know what I want from you, I just wanted to vent. Has anyone been through a similar experience/want to vent/have any strategies in place to deal with this? Have a nice day.
One of the things that is not discussed much is for all the upward social/financial mobility we see the reverse happens to some degree. While it is not totally a zero sum game it makes sense this happens as if not everyone would eventually become 1%ers.
On the one hand things have become more competitive, but on the other hand coming from a more privileged background can make one a bit soft or at least unaware of the work necessary to maintain position (contrary to all the nepotism stereotypes). What's done is done so wouldn't dwell on that too much.
As cliche as it sounds recognition is the first step towards solving the problem. You are still pretty young so you can definitely turn things in the direction you want if it is truly what you want. What I will say is it may take some radical steps/changes that could include changing your social circle, therapy, spending a bunch of money for an MBA, job hopping etc. Basically you need to create some optionality for your career/life so should really be doing multiple things like trying for a top MBA (or quantish masters if you can do that) and looking for higher paying career gigs. On word of caution- it will be tough as the "needing to work twice as hard now to make up for not working then" could apply.
Thank you for the level-headed comment, I appreciate the simultaneous understanding and 'tough love', as it were. You don't need to do an MBA over here to get out of audit, so within the next 1-3 years it's conceivable that if I put my mind to it I could transition into CO/ER/IBD directly and subsequently not have any issues with anything I worry about in the future, especially if I end up moving back to the US (I have both passports).
What's done is done, but the thing is that I didn't realise/no-one mentioned any of this to me until after the end of my education. I was completely out of touch with absolutely everything you can think of even though my father's net worth isn't more than $3-400k. Now everyone I know (and I do mean everyone) is in IBD/ER/CO and I just feel like a complete and utter failure, sorry to say. This might sound 'beta' for lack of a better word, but this has also affected my dating life enormously -- girls hear about all these trips I've taken/things I've bought/friends I have and they just can't circle it with the actual reality of the situation. I feel like it would be tough to date anyone I grew up with, at any of the schools I went to. I just feel devalued, and I'm sure that's where the therapy comes in.
You're right though, what's done is done and now that I've chosen to focus on getting into strategy consulting, I'll action whatever advice I receive on the thread I created about making that transition here in London (as well as obviously doing my own research/expanding my own network). Thanks again for the words of wisdom. Obviously still open to other comments, of course!
Of course. Your experience is not unlike a lot of third culture/expat kids I know and it can be especially biting for someone in your position where it seems like the breadwinner's compensation came heavily in the form of "perks" well in excess of salary/bonus. An entirely different topic but these career paths don't really exist anymore (probably a good thing) so it can really play mind games with expectations setting. Things are always relative but I know people with similar backgrounds as you that didn't even get the solid education aspect and are now in random small towns in xyz home country with no hope of a similar upbringing for their children.
The UK is quite status conscious relative to the US so you may benefit from exploring opportunities in the latter given your options. That's where an MBA comes in. BTW not a US vs. UK discussion just each can be better fits for certain people. The spillover into the private life is a real phenomenon and I would ignore the "work is not your self worth etc. self help." Because my read is more a realization that you have not met your expectations/or self perceived potential. Good news is as you say this can be changed pretty quickly with focus and commitment. It becomes a question of whether you are willing to prioritize it. Now, you have to be careful on the comparison game bc then you could be in a "well I'm not an MD," but my perception is it is less about keeping up with the Jones'/envy and more the potential/expectations. Lastly not a dating coach but I think conventional wisdom is that correlation with those impressed by trips/friends/purchases and being a good fit as a partner to you is probably low. Good luck
I think you need therapy tbh.
What people don't realise is that UK PLC is basically run by former Big 4 auditors. Just look up the board members of any FTSE 350 company. Big 4 pay in the UK is shit but the experience and qualifications can really set you up for a successful long-term career. The full range of options within CO/MM PE/IB/ER is open to you but a lot depends on your tenacity and performance over the coming years. You really have to be a top performer if you want the best exits. I wouldn't worry about your current compensation and focus on making the most of your position and achieving the best possible exit.
Thank you for your measured response in contrast to my emotional OP. This has definitely given me some hope, and I'm personally aware of a few ex-B4 auditors who were able to make some of those jumps you've mentioned. I'm also glad that the US passport might grant me greater opportunity further down the line, but if I can get into a position where that would make sense, I'll already feel like the battle is half won. As expected, work hard is the only realistic advice that I can follow. Thanks again.
Sounds like you have a similar problem to myself; where you dwell a lot on the past and forget to look to the future.
Whenever I find myself with a chip on my shoulder, worrying about not being good enough, or stuck in the past I remind myself of a few things.
1) Never compare yourself to anyone other than the person you were yesterday.
2) Instead of thinking "what if I fail" think "what would I think of myself if I never tried and would I regret that".
3) Rome was not built in a day. Small improvements compound.
I agree to almost Vagabond85 has said except the one about MBA. If you are already some prestige-chasing yet insecure prick --- you kind of said that and I don't mean it in a condescending way --- getting an MBA where all your classmates are prick-wannabes are not gonna help.
I'm 27 yo too and I come from a lower-(middle?)-class background. Have realized that I've wasted a lot of time as well. Don't feel too stressed over those few years. The important thing is now you know what you need to do.
The hard thing is do that and KEEP doing that.
In terms of lifestyle, there is nothing wrong to afford a less luxurious way. If somehow your friends just don't accept your way of living now, maybe your friends are lifestyle creeps. Again, not condescending, statement of fact. My couple rich friends who inherit family biz are happy to grab a drink at a divvy bar with me.
If you are a US citizen I would look into moving back to the US for a few years and trying to get corporate roles there. Financial Analyst/FP&A roles in F500 firms probably pay 80-100K per year and are filled with ex Big 4 accountants. You would have no problem getting multiple offers with your experience. The job market is much hotter atm and salaries are higher. The UK is an amazing place to live but the job market is hyper competitive (for myriad reasons). FP&A will also help looking for ER roles as you develop a strong sense of how companies and industries forecast their earnings.
So much other good advice in this thread between this and the auditor to UK PLC route. Best piece of advice would be to do all of it and then see what kind of options you have in 1-2 years and go from there
This is all great advice guys, thank you all so much. Just need to put my head down and see what comes of it in a year or two, as Vagabond has said. I definitely want to live in the US for a couple of years, though, so let's see how that goes. Feeling much better after reading all this.
If you're serious about doing something and willing to put in the hours, I heard that IB in London is actually getting desperate for juniors now and willing to look at laterals / semi-laterals from B4. You can always give it a shot. Even if they force you back to analyst 1, your salary will almost double just on the base alone
Thanks for the suggestion! I have a good friend who just got out of BB IBD who echoed your sentiments. I'll sit back and take stock of my options after these final accounting exams in June, but it's good to know that the investment banking route is more feasible than it used to be straight out of the Big 4.
Have heard of multiple people getting fully lateraled (albeit from more advisory-focused roles) so should be very feasible. And accounting is probably the only major relevant to IBD lol
Aspernatur qui quis fuga provident veritatis. Dicta aliquam at porro aperiam. Eaque nihil quia ut id iusto. Illum qui deserunt cum et praesentium repellendus sint. Quas et blanditiis nobis sit necessitatibus et velit.
Iste nesciunt eos tenetur ut et ut nobis. Consequatur officiis minima alias iste eos. Dolore itaque est aut ipsum.
Et quidem provident ut quidem vero. Iure veniam omnis unde accusamus est consequatur voluptatem. Mollitia facilis autem amet maxime eos ducimus. Omnis harum unde non maxime et ea eius.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...