Is this normal?
At the big consulting companies like MBB, Accenture, Deloitte, Booz Allen, etc., is it normal for partners/senior directors/etc to be hesitant about helping family/friends with getting positions at their companies?
For example, I asked the my friend's dad who is director/managing partner at one of MBB in my hometown about referring my resume to HR/recruiting and he danced around the topic to avoid doing so. Then his son, who was my friend, eventually told me that the dad has a thing against helping family/friends about getting consulting jobs in this office. He also said that his father won't help even him get a job at this company since he believes that getting in on your own merit will enable you to better prepared to advance long-term at this particular company.
It depends on a lot of things. Your resume might suck, your referral source might not like you, your referral source might not want to stick his neck out for someone he doesn't know can deliver, the company culture might frown on things like that, among many other things.
you bet it is ... plus you said he is your friends dad so chances are he has heard things or seen you do stupid things so he is probably thinking "not going to put my neck on the line for this guy!" pretty much all these places would point their finger at him and his credibility would be damaged if you did't work out so if he had any doubts at all he is rightly cautious about these things.
Ruskii lists many valid points that mostly amount to the partner looking out for his own interests. Less cynically, the son's suggestion that the partner is acting in your own interest is also true. It isn't in your career interest to be given a job that you didn't earn.
It's like getting into MIT with remedial math skills. Sounds like a lucky break, until there's work to be done: then you embarrass yourself and quit. If you go somewhere you're prepared for, you might excel instead.
There's also the idea that by getting in because some extremely high up said that you should have a job will make you seem "untouchable" by other middle management underneath. Say you come in as associate, and your friends dad is the MP, and then your boss, or even the bosses boss finds out that you have direct ties with their boss, they're likely to not ride you as hard as others so now you're not producing as well.
Something along the lines of that. My wife's aunt is the COO of a major company and when I was looking for a job a few years ago I asked her about referring me to a job I was interested in, and then she said that she wouldn't due to pretty much what I said above.
No, I went to a school a half-step below HYPSM (Columbia, UChicago, Penn, etc.) and finished with a good GPA (3.62) and I'm now getting a masters at a strong southern school. I also had pretty good internships that were relevant (though not any brand-name like Goldman Sachs).
But yeah, I figured that this had to do with the fact that this senior guy just knows me as a good kid from a sport/activity we did together, but not really as a good potential consultant. I don't blame him for thinking that it's possible I might not work out, then his reputation takes a hit for referring me.
Asides from arguments that he might not want to risk his reputation, or that middle management might baby you, you should also consider what his story is.
Was he a privileged country club kid who had strings pulled for him to enter the work force, or did he make his way in out of sheer hustle? He might not believe in nepotism.
I think you would have been better off just talking to your friend's dad first about your interest in consulting, his experience at MBB, and his perspective on how to best position yourself in recruiting. From there, maybe he would have been more receptive to helping you past the initial gatekeeper.
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