Who the fuck buys bonds?

I buy bonds to have something to wipe my ass with. 

But if you're filthy rich, it's good diversification. 

You can also make money on bonds if interest rates go down (i.e. you can sell for than face value).

Well, obviously some people are if yields are near all-time lows

Banks. It sucks but the regulations make it that way.

Well, I'd assume insurance companies, considering they need financial instruments that can allow them to match liabilities with cash flows. They don't necessarily need crazy returns, especially if they turn an underwriting profit.

Any institution that has defined liabilities to match - Insurance companies, Pension Funds, Banks. A lot of these institutions are actually regulated such that they don't really have much of a choice. 

Intern, im assuming you must know atleast the basics of Finance?? Look into the Japanese Asset bubble or any other asset bubble throughout history. Too much capital plowing into an individual asset class will absolutely destroy that market. Also a lot of the times in the institutional space, when you’re looking at bonds trading at 100m+, provide a lot higher returns than equities with a lot lower volatility and correlation to other assets. I can go on and on honestly.

Spivy fast money hedge funds and monolithic asset managers

You must be new to duration…..

Not Ray Dalio.

Hey big head

me