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slayer

Ranked (assuming generalist offer):
GS
Ms
Jpm/Lazard/evercore/pwp/qatalyst/centerview/bx/other elites

Gap

CS/Barcap/baml/citi/DB

Gap

Top mms/UBS
Strong mms

Gap

Mms

Huge Gap

No name boutiques etc.

I hate tiers and the whole prestige thing fostered so evidently on this site, but I want to provide an actual example that ought to serve as a strong enough counterpoint to your post than me dismantling it line by line.

GS TMT last year gave 12 return offers. 7 accepted. 2 of those 5 who passed their offer up went to Blackstone, one to McKinsey, another said "fuck finance, I'm out" and went to a startup, and I don't recall what the 5th ended up doing.

First of all, GS and MS give generalist offers. When you get hired as a summer, you have to go through the placement process; there's no guarantee of getting any of the three groups you pref highest. Chances are, you will, but it's not guaranteed by any means; for example, a friend at GS ranked his three preferences with TMT as the first, yet got put into FIG (well agreed as the bank's other strongest group) without even having it as a listed preference.

When you get hired as a full-time analyst at MS or GS, for regional offices you may get hired to a specific group, but the accelerated recruiting process at the end of the summer is simply a mechanism to get warm bodies into the seats they need. They get the total number they want to fill out their analyst class and worry about the sorting later; it's not until much later in the process (well into the fall semester) that specific desks go out and recruit for a precise role (and even then, it's almost invariably because one of their summers who received an offer took his precious time to decline it and the group ends up scrambling to fill it late in the process).

Blackstone doesn't give generalist offers. If you're in advisory, it's either M&A or Restructuring (although the new M&A Structured Products group has started recruiting separately from the other two).

This is an inherently subjective thing. If you want to work at a distressed, special situations, or event-driven fund, a place like Blackstone or Lazard for restructuring is probably going to set you up better than GS TMT/FIG. Headhunters will love you for being in those groups, but if you can't get past the invitational dinner, coffee chat, or first-round interview because you aren't technically prepared to work at a Centerbridge, York (Credit Opportunities), a Gates, a Fortress (Drawbridge Special Opportunities), or an Angelo Gordon, GLG, Halcyon, Redwood, Litespeed, Solus, Jana, Contrarian, etc., then God bless you, you're stuck in banking.

If you want megafund PE, then yeah, aim for the groups that enjoy perennial positions in the limelight, the usual suspects (strong coverage groups like GS TMT and FIG, MS Media/Comms and CRG, JPM Sponsors and TMT ... strong product groups like MS M&A, GS LevFin, JPM M&A and LevFin).

Long story short, know what you want to do, then identify the best path to help you get there. Blindly following the herd because you heard "this is the best group" will get you lots of headhunter love but won't necessarily get you real skills, and on the buy-side, all they ever want is alpha-generating talent. If you can't produce, get the fuck out of the seat.

I am permanently behind on PMs, it's not personal.

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