Breaking into Banking (The Vatican Edition)

For over a thousand years, the key player in the world of finance has been sitting in the same place. Sure, he's moved his desk a few times...Rennaisance here, Inquisition there, a World War or Two to spice up the ho-hum. But long before it was called The Institute for Religious Works The Vatican's Bank was the ultimate exit opportunity for history's monkeys.

Imagine a young Shylock on the streets of Venice...steady moving those gold coins, scribbling on parchment and launching those carrier pigeons off to Rome...

Your ancestor...the Cro-Magnon Monkey networking for his first informational meeting.

What Does This Have to Do with Me?

I agree, we are far from the Holy See and times when banking was the property of Papacy.

But as allegations of money laundering and God knows what else have recently surfaced, I can't help to call out a couple of names which truly belong in the Hall-of-Fame with guys like Dick Fuld and Bernie Madoff.

Save This Player's Rookie Card

The Vatican Bank's current Chairman, Ettore Gotti Tedeschi has recently been hitting the campaign trail preaching the gospel of a morality-based financial system...oddly, not much different in its structure from the doctrines of Islamic Finance.

The Bank's head during the 1980's was a certain Paul Marcinkus, an American Archbishop who died in 2006. At the time of his rule, prosecutors could not move on him due to the immunity he enjoyed under Italian law. Under this gentlemen's leadership the Vatican funneled ~$1.3 billion dollars to the Banco Ambrosiano, which collapsed in 1982. The South American bank made loans in that exact amount to dummy companies via Vatican authorized letters of credit. The dough...was lost and never found.

There were also mysterious cases of people hanging themselves, witnesses disappearing and all that other good stuff we decent monkey have absolutely not one single thing to do with.

Oh...did I forget to mention?

Mr. Marcinkus was the model for the Archbishop Gilday character from Godfather III.

The Divine Comedy

Joke's on me...

I could write a month long series on this subject and still not scratch the surface.

The truth is the Pope's done it for a millennium, Goldman's done it for decades and maybe you will get to do it someday, too.

Just remember...

The well eventually dries up.

Inevitability can only be ignored for so long, it's brightness is blinding.

I guess that's why bankers and priests squint so much, when you look them in the eye.