Can someone critique my JP Morgan Chase Launching Leaders essay?
Hi everyone.
I recently applied for JPM's Launching Leader's commercial banking through SEO. The application contains a 500 word essay to a prompt. Here is the essay and the prompt below:
Essay Question – At J.P. Morgan Chase, our employees are our greatest asset, and we strive to hire talent from a broad pool to foster innovation, creativity and productivity in our businesses. Describe the unique attributes that distinguish you as an individual who can contribute to our diverse and dynamic workplace (Max. 500 words)
Start
At J.P. Morgan Chase, the importance of good employees cannot be understated. They are integral in delivering excellent service to its customers and the backbone of business’s productivity. However, in order to maintain its legacy, JPMorgan Chase must search for candidates who possess the qualities needed to foster three main areas: innovation, creativity, and productivity. With that in mind, I believe my qualities – diligence, curiosity, and empathy will ensure that the company has a diverse and dynamic workplace.
My strong work ethic is a quality that will be useful for JPMorgan Chase’s dynamic workplace. When working on an assignment at school, I always aim to start and finish early, so I can have time to make revisions later on. When applied to a project in JPMorgan Chase, this can ensure that mistakes are not made when faced with hectic days. Since I finished the assignment earlier, I will have enough time add suggestions on improving the content of work itself. This will only add to the company’s desire to innovate and perform at the highest potential.
However, my empathetic personality is key for the company to run at full potential as well. When a situation arises between me and another person, I listen to their perspective first before offering my opinion. This is useful for a good work environment since it prevents miscommunication that derives from speaking before listening. I use this same approach when listening to another’s ideas about a class project; I welcome their perspectives instead of ignoring it. In order to maintain an innovative and creative environment, JPMorgan must have employees who are willing to express their opinions with each other.
My curiosity to learn is another trait that will be useful for JP Morgan Chase. As a rising sophomore, there are still financial concepts that I have yet to learn. However, I enjoy visiting websites such as Investopedia, wall street oasis, and Bloomberg to increase my knowledge on the markets. As someone who is interested in interning at JPMorgan, my willingness to learn displays openness to feedback, a desire to improve, and transference of that knowledge to be applied later on in the business. The knowledge others invested in me will pay off in the future when I do the same to improve the business.
For now, these qualities will allow me to contribute to JP Morgan Chase’s work place and maintain its legacy of excellent service. My diligence will translate to an employee who strives to complete assignments at the highest quality. My empathetic personality will encourage expressing ideas between the business - which leads to increased innovation and creativity. And as someone with limited knowledge in finance, my curiosity means that I am willing to learn from those who are succeeding at JP Morgan chase. That same knowledge can be used in the future to guide another person or suggest ways to improve the business. For the reasons above, I believe my attributes will be useful as an intern at JP Morgan Chase.
I would not post an essay on this or any forum (use the PM feature).
In general, use a more active voice and succinct language. You'll find the work world appreciates concise, crisp communication.
Best of luck.
Above is correct.
Your content is good but the writing is somewhat dense. Saying "JP Morgan Chase" 10 times is kind of clunky, I would not mention WSO as a selling point either.
This is an open ended topic. Speak of a personal experience or distinguishing characteristic instead of just 4 paragraphs of workish vernacular. Clubs, teams, a project... think of your college essays, use your own skills and personality to sell yourself rather than a generic "i love finance!" form.
Remember, it says "Max 500 words". It doesn't say Min 450. I'd much prefer reading a crisp 300 words than a dense (good word) 500.
Less is more.
Thanks for the advice - I'll shorten it some more.
To cite Empathy as one of your key characteristics for a banking job seems odd
This was mainly inspired by a webinar during JPMC's freshman experience program. One of the panelists mentioned that empathy was one of several qualities the company is looking for.
Will be pm'ing you more detailed feedback shortly....
copied and pasted thx 4 the essay nerd
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