Commuting during Fulltime and toxic family situation
Immigrant here in the U.S (NYC) and I live in one of the boroughs in a one-bedroom apartment with my parents and one small sibling - me being the oldest, not the safest part of the city but we manage. I was able to land a SA and get a return from a BB pretty sweaty but a good group. Coming from a South Asian background I am expected to live with my parents and pretty much try my best to take care of them - which I'll try my best to do at least for my dad (fuck my mom she's a toxic bitch I hate her). Personally, I plan to live with my parents until I get married (26-27). We are looking to move as one bedroom isn't working for us anymore, and I can support them financially as well (i am only going to pay rent at max when I start FT, rent for 2 bedrooms is around $2k where I live). Now my question is - will I be able to do a good job as a first-year while commuting (40min to an hour commute) including walking and train (my group is pretty understanding). I would love to live in the city and get away from my parents however I can't because I want to atleast not disrespect my dad who worked really hard to support me.... I at least wanna somewhat help my dad and my younger sibling... fuck my toxic mom so she can die. Any advice would be appreciated
OP here edit - my mom doesn't work and my dad makes 40k a year just fyi. any financial or life advice anything would be helpful
You live in Jackson heights?
I know someone who worked in banking and commuted from there, def doable but it’ll be tiring.
can I pm you if it is possible?
BUMP
I don’t understand Asian parents. I have an Indian friend and he’s 30, still lives with his parents, pays their way and is semi depressed. Then he wonders why he single.
I would move out and tell them you will pay half the rent. $1k a month. But not live there. Which I’m assuming is more than you were paying during UG. Living with them during your analyst stint will hold you back. Spending 60+ min a day commuting is going to take a toll on you. And on days you can work from home you won’t want to if you don’t have a good setup and some privacy. People underestimate the need to “recharge” during this job, and as an analyst those times will be limited. You will want to take advantage of them and be able to relax at your own place without too many people pulling on you.
At some point you gotta get out from under the parents. Waiting till you are married is a bad idea imo. You will grow a lot when you move out on your own and it will be part of your new relationships. Don’t be like my friend and be too much of a pushover to ever make the move. You can still reasonably support your parents financially without having to live with them.
Yea - I would have moved out but the least I can do for my dad, (i hate my mom even) is just be there for him because of how hard he worked for us and is still working a very laboring job. Although I have lived with my parents for my whole life (through UG as well) I am very independent because I live in a toxic household (where my mom doesn't do anything my dad works all day and supports the family financially) and that just taught me to take care of myself. I have my boundaries with my parents, I don't do shit for them anymore because I am tired of their shit, and we are planning to move because I need my own room and somewhat of privacy. Yes, I am tired of my parents but I am willing to do this shit for them until I am married. (for my dad)
I think for now and for the situation I am in I have to live with them. the best I can do is probably move somewhere where the commute is under 30min but would a commute of 45min doable. I understand what you are saying and you are in 100% in the right but lets without getting into too many details my hands are kind of tied. and I am very confident I will get married by 26 at latest 27 so have to deal with this bullshit for 4 more years
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