Coping with a rude Associate

Just wanted to preface by saying the vast majority of the people in my group are great and I get along with them nicely. Unlike said person, they are reasonable, thoughtful people who are good at delegating responsibilities and supporting me as an analyst. Granted things aren't perfect and conflicts pop up here and there (albeit rarely), I have very little complaints overall. 

However, one associate in my group seems to have developed an active dislike for me and is clearly playing favorites. It seems like no matter what I do is never enough. There is always a reason for them to send me passive aggressive messages or belittle me. It seems like every day they're finding a new way to lecture me on the things I'm doing wrong.

Even when it's something that they screwed up on (e.g. forgetting to send something out or forgetting about a routine process), blame is always pinned on me. Normally I just try to keep my head down and avoid conflict, but recently I've started to push back a bit because I refuse to be a doormat. 

How should I deal with this situation? Assume that every analyst on this forum has dealt with at least one associate / VP / director they are not a fan of. I obviously don't want to cause trouble / further anger this person, but I can only take so much.

14 Comments
 

This actually happened to me and another first year when I first started. We are crap for about a year and then had enough.

So one day when an MD game me a very time sensitive assignment and the associate gave me his work, I only did his work. When the Md asked for my work, I said I couldn’t get to it yet because I was doing this other project. And said the associate told me his was very time sensitive. He got reamed out by the MD for offloading work she gave him to me.

He came over later and said in the future just do the MDs work first, then his work. I said no problem but I’m going to be copying the MDs and VPs on everything. He said that’s not the way it works. And the next time he gave me work I did his first and sent it back but copied our entire deal team asking for comments on the this project. I also asked another MD for “advice” on how to handle this drama between the MD and the associate and whose work I should do first since the associate was very intense. The other first year also did something similar and asked another MD in the team for “advice” on how to manage the associate.

Never bothered us again.

 

Honestly some associates are way in over their heads, forgetting that they’re junior bankers too (most aren’t, but some are). As long as you’ve been at the firm awhile and have a decent reputation with other people, it doesn’t matter what this dickhole associate thinks. Don’t think of them as your boss because they’re not, they’re either on your team and in the trenches with you or you can fuck them as hard as they can fuck you. 
 

basically, what I’m sayin is don’t lose sleep over this guy as he doesn’t have as much power as you think. Circumvent him slowly but surely and focus on your other projects / relationships and just let him rot. Come reviews you’ll have others to vouch for you so even if he shits on you you’re fine if he’s the only one. And if there’s 360 reviews even better, rip him apart I say. Then just avoid getting staffed with him ever again.

 

I think a big part of why we are paid, is to deal with all the shitty people.

Try to not take it personally. It's just a job. You go in, do your work, and get paid.

Sorry it's not help. In all my years of finance, there are a lot of assholes out there.

Develop a thick skin. And do good work. Never take things personally and to heart, then you're fucked.

 
Most Helpful

Doesn't matter what title you are. If there is a senior person above you giving you shit: Diversify staffings. Build a good strong reputation. Beyond that, don't sweat it too much.

Not for OP specifically, but general advice: I've have been in the industry for over a decade at various firms and have climbed my way up the ranks. Every firm, every team has some shitty people above you that you have to work with. Find out who they are. If you are new (entry level or lateral) likely you will have to work with them first (because everyone already knows who they are and are likely avoiding them). If you are new, people will likely give you a short run way to prove yourself (read: let you f up a bit). Any staffer with half a brain who knows his team will be aware of this and likely won't staff you 100% with shitty bankers. If you find you are staffed with 100% shitty bankers...  It could be your firm, but I would also look in the mirror for a self-awareness check. 

 

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