Extreme introvert - sick of "networking"
Currently with ~4y exp in IB / PE in Asia. Throughout my career I had been ok lucky, getting into IBD from places I didn't network (rejected by places I actually networked), moved to a MM PE since then but wanted to move around and realized applying online is shooting into the dark even with a decent resume. Over the years, I feel that networking and socializing are so important but I feel very sick and tired of these.
I always feel networking is a painful act. Pretending I am interested in your job, acting very engaged on my face. Actually I know what you guys do in IBD and PE, I know what corp dev / IR / strategy entails. I have worked with people in these industries. I google and I check WSO / reddit / whatever. I feel disgusted having the need to shoot non-stop emails asking for coffee, make time to pretend just to request for a job. And it is awkward af when we talk, every time I ask something, the guy answers, 90% of the time inside I would feel "er, so what? who cares? sounds meaningful" and I have to respond something to pretend it is something cool to keep convo going.
Same goes with socializing at work. I am very tired creating the slides. I don't want to drink with you guys, I am sick of people around, I am sick of drinking. I don't watch the same TV shows as you guys and I have nothing to talk. It is boring, painful and waste of my time.
But these are the only ways to expand network and otherwise I have no exit just applying online, WTF? I spoke with my college friends who are in IBD / any other high pay jobs. It seems majority of them networked for their current jobs and most, if not all networked for at least 1 job in their career.
This is painfully waste of time and it sucks. I always want to just have my own time. I don't like hanging out with people in college and at work or basically just throughout my life.
Am I doomed? Sorry guys if I ranted too much.
Look, if you hate the human interaction nature of the job, you should look into career paths that don’t require this as much. HFs / AMs come to mind as requiring far less human interaction (depending on the strategy). You’re at the least ‘human interaction’ rung of IB / PE. As you progress up, you’ll need to exponentially scale the number of people you interact with as part of your job. By what you noted, you’ll become exponentially more miserable along the way. You’ll also become increasingly ‘bad’ at your job. No one expects a lot from the social interactions with analysts / associates - the job is mostly execution. VP and above is not this at all - so if you have less ‘stamina’ for human interaction, you’ll tire quickly and not do as much as your peers, who will correspondingly outperform you
How the fuck did you manage to get 4 years of experience??? This is some Patrick Bateman shit above. Have you considered getting help from a mental health professional?
Not as introverted as you, but im an introvert, with a bit of social anxiety for sure.
I feel you, though I am just an incoming now, it was extremely difficult to break out of my comfort zone to network and interview well to get my offer. I find it still difficult to chat up people I don't know well, but I feel like it is a skill I still need to work on and master, regardless of what career I will be going into. Friends and relationships always matter, and I have been told by multiple seniors/mentors in c-suite levels that as you move up the ladder even higher, relationships are what make or break your life sometimes.
I understand how shitty it is to do something that you don't like and/or not comfortable with, but I think it is just an aspect of life, like your knowledge in the industry/college/GPA(for students lol), that you need to master for you to be successful, at least in this realm of "business". Hate the game, but what can we do.
I relate so much to what you're saying.
OP remember that your brain is malleable –– you can literally hard-wire skills into it if you put in the effort.
I took some public speaking classes my first 2 years, which made me more confident speaking to a crowd, and I also just spoke up in class more and asked questions, which had sm benefits in building connections with professors.
Think about how some people are naturally people-oriented but have trouble studying/remembering info. On the other hand, we were naturally curious/good at learning but had a hard time with people, so we just need to build it like a skill. It definitely takes time, and there are still so many days where I just prefer to be alone, but when necessary I can still draw upon the social skills I have built.
We should create a club exclusively for introverts. Serves the need to network with zero social cordiality bs. Paradoxical but I wonder what it could look like.