Feel like I'm becoming a worse person
So I've been in the job for a year and just took time off to hang out with a lot of my family that I haven't seen in many years. They remember me as this goofy, reserved, wholesome, family oriented kid. I had a few questions like 'how long have you been this way' - meaning always serious, looking tired, drinking. It made me pretty sad. I am becoming successful on paper (good school/job/next job lined up), but I don't want to become a career person who sacrifices who they are to become that way. Also I feel like I've become way more materialistic and self centered. Fuck.
Thanks for the honesty. I’m an incoming SA and have been worrying about this myself. Obviously I have no real experience on the job so I can have no clue how you are feeling. You certainly know more than I do. But I’ve thought about my own experience, in the chaos of exams, recruiting, etc. Goofiness and kindness are central to who I am and I don’t want that to get lost in the hustle and bustle of career. With everything I need to get done by tomorrow or the next day, I already lose sight of everything else entirely. Recognizing these issues is step one to fixing them. I’ve tried to make a goal of phoning family and old friends at least once a week. I’ve tried to hold the door open and smile at strangers more. I think as we pursue these ambitious goals, the time commitment is unavoidable; it is what it takes, that’s why most can’t do it. But if we can be intentional about preserving the person we truly are, then we will be content - or at least, I’ve grown to be.
Thank you. Yes, being intentional about talking to friends/family and being kind and pleasant to strangers is definitely a good start. Also I find when I spend more of my free time improving myself (gym/good eating/etc) that helps me feel happier and be kinder in return. I think I need to not be single anymore too, doesn't help in this lifestyle.
I feel like rarely there is an in-between. You kinda have to get off the "path" and accept a normal trajectory (which is not easy).
The issue seems that quite a few realise that now they have so much free time and do a stable job, it's not that interesting - so to an extent, they were better off in IB (or whatever else).
I always feel similar to you but I think I'd hate things more knowing I am earning less, and doing less interesting things than other people (not so much jealousy, more so sadness for my own potential).
I will say that I think the sacrifice needed nowadays (or the cost) seems higher, so to me it's a harder choice. I am more from a working class background, so while I could relax and do accounting or random jobs - I would worry if could support a GF/Wife or my parents.
I mean how remarkable/impressive/interesting really is the path anyway? Is giving up the chance to climb the ladder at somebody else’s fund really wasted potential? Is being brave enough to stop off a well trodden path and finding your own way even more impressive? Not being condescending (I’m also on The Path), more just thinking out loud.
Can relate. I’ve always been a really happy, outgoing guy - while that’s still true, I have also become much more harsh, blunt, judgemental & less patient.
I am still a good person but concerned I may lose who I am if I am not careful.
Just pay attention, try to be around good people & we’ll be ok :)
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