Forwarded from a friend at Citi (market caps are a bit outdated):
Gallows humor: Wall Street might have lost tons of money, but that doesn't mean traders have lost their ability to laugh. Some faves making the rounds:
- What's the definition of optimism?
- An investment banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday evening.
- What is the capital of Iceland?
- About $3.50
- I tried to get cash from an ATM today, but it said "insufficient funds."
- I don't know if that meant them or me.
- What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
- The pizza can still feed a family of four.
- What does a hedge-fund manager with no fund to manage say?
- Would you like fries with that sir?
- The credit crunch is getting bad, isn't it?
- I mean, I let my brother borrow 10 bucks a couple weeks back. It turns out I'm now America's fourth-biggest lender.
One year ago RBS, Santander and Fortis paid $100bn for ABN Amrobank.
For this amount they could now buy:
Citibank $22.5bn
Morgan Stanley $10.5bn
Goldman Sachs $21bn
Merrill Lynch $12.3bn
Deutsche Bank $13bn
Barclays $12.7bn
And still have $8bn change......
with which you would be able to pick up
GM,
Ford,
Chrysler
and the Honda Formula 1 Rac
Haha nice.
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