Girlfriend facing 100K+ Student debt...stay or leave

I know I'll get a lot of predictable responses to this but was wondering how you would all handle this situation. Been dating this girl for a year and a half and we're getting very close to the "moving in together" stage. Once at that point, marriage isn't too far ahead.

Don't get me wrong, I really love this girl and our relationship works in pretty much every way and seems perfect. But when I think about the financial burden her loans would be in the future, it causes me to pause. She'll probably top out at 90-100K in her career, hopefully. Obviously, the hope is I make a good amount more. The thought of breaking it off just because of her debt kind of crushes me and I'd feel terrible doing so (yes, I have a soul). Also, I realize a ton of people have a huge student debt burden, so her situation is far from unique. But I also have a lifestyle in mind that I want to live up to and would be afraid that her loans would prevent it from becoming a reality.

Maybe I am being paranoid and stressing too much about it, i don't know...

Thoughts on this?

26 Comments
 

Jesus christ I hate reading things like this. I know it's tough man but honestly nothing is worth your happiness. If she truly makes you happy and you really think that she is the one then don't even hesitate.

I see some of my managers pulling 200K+ but they hate themselves and their lives and they're not getting any younger either. If she makes you happy then it's not even a question. Having a criteria for someone you love to be financially stable seems pretty selfish to me.

 
Controversial

Dude you're a major loser if you think $100k is too much of a burden. Wait until you have to buy a house with a $800k mortgage, or have to take out $100k+ of loans for each of your kids to pay for food, school and all that shit.

You obviously don't love this woman if $100k scares you. Either that, or you haven't developed into a man yet, in which case grow the f up

 
"TheQuizzicalOne" I know I'll get a lot of predictable responses to this but was wondering how you would all handle this situation. Been dating this girl for a year and a half and we're getting very close to the "moving in together" stage. Once at that point, marriage isn't too far ahead.

Don't get me wrong, I really love this girl and our relationship works in pretty much every way and seems perfect. But when I think about the financial burden her loans would be in the future, it causes me to pause. She'll probably top out at 90-100K in her career, hopefully. Obviously, the hope is I make a good amount more. The thought of breaking it off just because of her debt kind of crushes me and I'd feel terrible doing so (yes, I have a soul). Also, I realize a ton of people have a huge student debt burden, so her situation is far from unique. But I also have a lifestyle in mind that I want to live up to and would be afraid that her loans would prevent it from becoming a reality.

Maybe I am being paranoid and stressing too much about it, i don't know...

Thoughts on this?

I think you have Asperger's.

You're posting this in the Investment Banking forum. If you truly achieve a successful career in NYC high finance, $100,000 shouldn't matter to you as much as you're making it seem. People spend that much on watches, of all things, not to mention sports cars, rent, etc. $100,000 is also nothing compared to what you could theoretically spend on relationships - trophy wives don't come free, nor do divorces. That also assumes that you're going to be paying for it all. It's 2017, dude - women can have jobs and pay their bills with or without you.

I don't mean to minimize the impact of 6 figure debt - I know it all too well - but come on, man. If she really is as perfect for you as you claim, this is ridiculous.

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