Hoping I'm not the only one
Long time reader, first time poster. Usually scroll when I’ve got a little time on my hands and all I see are guys with these crazy net worths but it seems like the work is their only responsibility.
Little background. 30 y/o VP in IB and have spent 5+ years in the industry so far. Really enjoy the job, but I do it not just for myself. My wife works in education, so our financial situation ultimately falls on me. Just had our first child, and she wants to stay at home, which I am all supportive of.
Given our family dynamic, I am not banking 100% of my bonuses these days....but what is the financial point of this job other than taking care of your family? I’m sure there are other guys out there going through the same thing, but why wait until your mid-to-late 30s to have a family and just build this insanely high net worth if you’re not going to do anything of substance with it? Am I crazy for thinking that I am totally fine not saving as much of it, if it means I can have a family and support them?
Life is different for everyone. If you aren't getting support from your parents (whether that be time, or money/resources) most men in this job will wait until they feel like they can support a family "risk free", and accumulating wealth while being single allows you to splurge more on a family later (i.e. private instead of public school, and generally nicer things).
I will also say that 80% of men I know who married before 30 met their spouse in undergrad. If you didn't, then I think your timeline shifts 5-10 years later because it's infinitely harder to date and sift through potential partners in this job (and in NYC). Dating dynamics have also significantly changed in the last 5 years; people think they have more options than they really do...and some people realize this too late.
Ignore my title. Wife worked in education. My wife and I sacrificed $100k+ of savings for her to stay home. Best choice we’ve made. Nobody will care for your kid like their mom. I fully view my responsibility as providing that opportunity to her financially. They can either have 10% of me, 30-40% of mom and 50-60% a stranger or 100% of mom and 10% of me.
Also, your wife’s background in education will make a big difference.
This isn’t to disparage anyone else who had to make different decisions. Keep providing for your families, that’s what matters most.
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