I get wanting the prestige and comp when you’re 25, but how do you justify not seeing your kids or wife when you’re 35? Are the hours not as terrible as people make it out to be? Also, do you guys have any friends outside of the industry? How can you possibly maintain them?
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The questions everyone wants to know but nobody wants to ask or answer
Speaking as a director -- it can or cannot be as terrible as people make it out.
In my group, all the MDs are happily married. No divorces to my knowledge. Very involved in kids lives. This is a BB group with strong deal-flow.
People make time if they want to. I work with some good MDs that are accommodating to but don't allow outright abuse. People work hard, but they take time off too. Not saying they won't take a quick call on vacation -- they will. But if you're in any high performing job (banker, PE, CEO, CFO, BoD) and think you can just turn your phone off for two weeks completely -- that's not going to happen. There are certainly jobs you can do that and they pay accordingly...
Some words of advice from a guy in his mid-30s -- don't forget that jobs are means to an end, not the end. I think too many people try to derive their happiness form work -- I work to support my life and family, not for fun. We are fortunate to work hard (mentally) and get paid accordingly. When I have a bad day, I just look at the guy breaking his back 6 / 7 days a week roofing a building in the sun for a literal fraction of what we make and remember it's not so bad.
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Applies to people in other careers too, but I think a lot of them are full of shit and just avoiding their family that they do not like and use work as an excuse for it.
I justify it by not having a wife or kids at 35
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