How the fuck do I become Jamie Dimon?
Starting as an analyst, what do I do at each level to finally become the CEO of the largest bank in the world?
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Jamie is an absolute beast, and I recognize that your post was probably sarcastic, but I think it's often underappreciated how much luck has to do with those types of careers. You have to be "right place right time" and you also have to be in a position where senior leaders take a liking to you and help push you along on the fast-track to leadership.
simple, just go on his wiki and copy his career progression.
Step 1: Legally change your name to Jamie Dimon.
Now, you are Jamie Dimon.
A lot of lucky breaks came his way... family connections, wealthy and intelligent enough to attend decent or very good schools, right time/right place as mentioned above, and just generally situations where he was picked over others. Clearly he is a very hard working and smart individual, but a lot of things worked out for him to be where he is. I am not saying he doesn't deserve this, but the JPM bankers I know have told me stories that simply wouldn't work for the average IBD dude.
Have met him before and a had several min convo; could not be a nicer person, very authentic. that said, he was able to be in the perfect place at the perfect time and also capitalize on that, which isn't always easy to do. top comment is right, he got sandy weill's attention by writing a paper about one his recent mergers, and this was passed onto Weill who then hired him. few months later weill leaves amex and decides he wants to create a huge financial services company, brings jamie with him and rest is history
Salivating reading this thread
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