Is Chicago the Amateur Leagues / Back Office of Life?

So I'm weighing an opportunity right now for an UMM PE firm that is probably as good a buy-side offer as I'll ever get - frankly, I'm surprised I got it coming from a very average IB background. Didn't even think the headhunter was going to respond to my initial email. 

Anyhow, the offer is in Chicago which is giving me significant trepidation. I've been an east coast man my whole life and currently live in the NYC metro. I am definitely what you would call a NYC / East Coast Elitist. I won't even watch the super bowl if it's two non east-coast teams (who tf cares about San Fran & Kansas City?!). I just feel like the access that you have in NYC is unmatched. I can take an Amtrak to Philly/Boston/DC/Bmore/CT Suburbs easy as hell, fly to MIA on a whim in under 3 hours, even last-minute travel across the pond to London/UK for $700 and 5 hours of flight time. The food is the best, the culture, the people are the smartest, women are the hottest etc. 

My worry with Chicago is that it's a GREAT city, I'm not trying to put it down, but it's a great city inside the otherwise desolate midwest. It's like Denver in that regard, I hate the idea of not being anywhere near any other major cities or hubs of action. Feels very secluded and far away from the action so to speak. My question is this - for any former / current east coast snobs who have lived/worked in Chicago, did you have the same fear and did you find it was justified? Did it meet / exceed / underperform expectations? Or was it, the Amateur Leagues / Back Office of life so to speak?  

 

lmao why the fuck would it be back office if your FO at an UMM?

 

Why so? Just a ton of monotonous midwestern culture? Lack of exciting / interesting clash of ethnicities / cuisines / etc.? Less finance opportunities? Less sharp employees? 

It's a strong job offer so I'm trying to sell myself on CHI but just wondering where it has fallen short for others. 

 

BazingaDinga:

Why so? Just a ton of monotonous midwestern culture? Lack of exciting / interesting clash of ethnicities / cuisines / etc.? Less finance opportunities? Less sharp employees? 



It's a strong job offer so I'm trying to sell myself on CHI but just wondering where it has fallen short for others. 


Monotonous midwestern culture? Bro it’s one of the biggest cities in the United States not some random town in Indiana.

Sure, there’s less diversity.

Lack of food? The food in Chicago is widely known as one of the most diverse in the USA—probably right behind NYC.

Less sharp employees? The people I know in Chicago are all very hard working, just a little more laid back.

True there are less finance oops—but if you’re at a UMM you’ll be fine.

 

Ah a man of culture and taste. I will say this, while much of the city is certainly beneath you, there does exist one morsel that just might match your elitist East Coast prestige and pedigree. I would say that if you confine yourself solely within the Humboldt Park neighborhood, you should be able to avoid all of the conventional plebian midwesterners, and you will find yourself surrounded by some of the most refined and cultured savants in the US. No where else could you find yourself more immersed in the hustle culture, eat what you kill type environment.

And you thought the east coast was fast paced? Just wait until you're nearly clipped catching a stray walking to the blue line.

On a serious note, 3/10 troll post, next time at least try and downplay it so some folks will bite that you're being serious

 

Take it from the Top G himself. I live in Canada and would have serious reservations about moving to Chicago. Crime is insane and from my understanding it's surrounded by a lot of ultra violent neighborhoods that are further out surrounded by boring midwestern suburbs and then ultimately corn fields after that. 

image-20240214113619-2

 

Here I fixed it for you:

Imagine living in Canada on purpose. BY CHOICE.

Seriously, imagine being a full grown adult.

And waking up in f***ing CANADA.

Looking at the entire globe, then looking around at the shithole you reside in.

And saying “Yes. I want to live here :)”
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

The shittiest US city > literally any Canadian city. Fuck off commie.

 
Funniest

I would not recommend coming to Chicago. For example, below is an average day:

I usually start my day off eating a bowl of corn (no restaurants here). Then I bundle up in 4 coats (polar vortex makes it below 0 most the time even during the summer). Commuting also is tough because there are no trains here (city isn’t industrialized like New York). Also, the bullets! You have to weave between streets because the gangs are always blasting at commuters (the mayor provides them bullets to discourage business). Finally, when I get to the office the only people in the city went to state schools and places like Northwestern and University of Chicago which everyone knows contains finance duds. There also are no billionaires or millionaires in Chicago. After citadel moved, all the wealthy ex-employees and the PE shops left as well (was a package deal). My firm only deals with paper companies that have less than 1m of Ebitda. Although, I heard last quarter my colleague got to do the accounting for a “10 bager” we call those deals that cross $10m of total valuation. Was a super cool experience where we went to a minor league hockey game and chillis after (we couldn’t afford something like seeing the Yankees or Mets). Anyway hope that’s helpful! 
 

Oh yeah, also the girls are horrible here. They seem to want commitment and value being moms and family over more worldly things like fashion. I know a guy who moved from New York and after the move he was never able to get a job again, ended up homeless—not worth the risk. I’d turn down the offer and stay put if I were you.

 

This is dumb to me. You're acting like you don't understand nuance. 

  • I understand there are restaurants in Chicago, but they aren't world class or as plentiful and don't represent as many cultures as the selection of restaurants in NYC do
  • I understand it isn't below 0 during the summer, but it is, by all accounts cold as fuck whereas NYC is more moderate
  • I understand there are trains, but they suck compared to the Subway from what people say and many people still require cars in Chicago
  • I understand you don't get shot at on a daily basis, but I have read accounts on here stating that you do get chased down / threatened on a weekly / monthly basis
  • I understand not EVERYONE went to NW / Booth, but certainly a higher concentration of duds from UW Madison / Notre Dame / Lloyola than on Wall Street
  • I understand not all companies operate at the lowest end of the MM, but there are a fuckload of regional LMM PE / IB groups focusing on wack founder owned industrials companies in the midwest and less globally recognized investors

Your post honestly identifies everyone wack about Chicago / the Midwest it's just written from the perspective on a nincompoop who doesn't understand nuance and can only speak in extremes. No wonder people in NYC laugh at midwesterners, you guys don't even know how to be  funny. 

 

Great points. The people in Chicago and the Midwest are the absolute worst (that is the national rep at least). Not funny either (can’t name a single comedian that began at an improv school or theatre school in the Midwest that got famous). 
 

If you want you can come to town sometime and we can cow tip if you want? My MD “big Russ” might even supply a tractor we could take for a spin. Might be hard to get to the city though, o’hare only has WWII era-biplanes these days.

 

We understand just fine. We just think you are a tool.

 

Chicago is assssss, SON! Paramus, NJ is closer to being a primary market than Chicago. Why do you think CHI real estate rents for half the price that it does in Jersey City? Because people want to be there? It's WACK, yo. 

 
[Comment removed by mod team]
 

Everything that you mentioned doesn't really matter, except for one thing that you glanced over - women. Chicago women are boring: hook up culture is close to non-existent, and those girls who are looking for hookups in Chicago usually aim for hood rats. On top of that Chicago women are much less attractive. So in Chicago you'll have to commit to a monogamous boring relationships with a 6, while in NYC you can hook up with new 8s every week. The downside is the price you pay. NYC is much more expensive, so you need to have serious cash to even just take girls out.

To sum it up, NYC is more fun if you have money, Chicago will do if you're on a budget. But it's not about geography or food. It's about chicks.

 

Complete nonsense but I’m here for it.

I found the Chicago women at least as attractive as NYC. I’d say a bit better. Not as universally skinny as NYC, but prettier on average and more likeable, and usually skinny (just not 95% of the time like NYC). They tend to be the sorority kind of girl so it doesn’t work for all guys, and they’re not into all guys either. 

 

There are a few a these sorority kind of girls in Chicago but only a few, and since there are not many of them, there's high competition for them, meanwhile there are a lot of rich good looking guys in Chicago. So the situation is that these girls are surrounded by rich good-looking guys offering them expensive fancy dining experiences, boat rides, other expensive entertainment with many of these guys having serious intentions, so there's really not a high chance to peak their interest with cheap drinks with hookup intentions. Whereas in NYC, there are many more attractive women, men are busy with their careers, and hookup culture is much more developed, so you can actually bang good-looking chicks after drinks.

 

saying the women in nyc are the hottest just shows you’re not well-traveled at all domestically or internationally. They’re exceptionally average looking but wear tons of makeup, and the ones that aren’t average are just as insufferable as you sound in this post

 

I know the exact feeling and have good news.  Worked in NYC out of college, loved every second of it, and got into b-school in Chicago. Had the same trepidation you’re feeling.  But Chicago was awesome.  I went back to NYC after MBA but actually had a hard time going back because of how much I liked Chicago.  

One of my MBA classmates who was an NYC native described it best: “real New Yorkers know that Chicago is a lot like New York.” I agree with him.

Other piece of evidence: I’ve never met anyone who *lived* there who didn’t love it. Visitors have mixed feelings, but residents don’t.

 

I love how you demand "world class food" regularly, and how you're sad if you don't consume it. Who are you, Thurston Howell the Third? 

If you're that worried, just don't go. You're right, Chicago isn't New York. It's f'in great, and in a lot of ways, better than NYC, but it's not NYC. Just have fun  hangin' with Anna Wintour at the fashion shows, paying 300 for bottle service and then having "world class Korean food" at 4 a.m. Sounds fun. 

 

I live in a major east coast city that isn't NYC, one of the cities you mentioned that is on the Amtrak line. When I had the offer before graduating college, I felt a little sorry for myself because I felt out of the loop for not being in NYC.

Shocker: It's a huge city with plenty of opportunities, and you're still a nobody. To imply you're already better than all ~3 million people living in the city is so ridiculous and close minded of you. Every city you mentioned has people of unfathomable wealth and all of the food, shopping, and enjoyable accolades you could get in a major city or wealthy area (maybe besides Baltimore lol). 

Calling it a back office of life is just stupid. Just stay in NYC at this point so you can cultivate personal development to your life in your 600 square foot studio on a 150k salary. 

 

Associate 1 in IB - Cov:

This post is dumb/immature… but I must admit my counterparties who work out of Chicago (I’m in NYC) are much lazier and less competent. We call them JV bankers. If you’re OK being on the JV team, go for it 


You seem immature as well

 

I visited the Chicago office on my bank one time. The Chicago offices are usually located in grocery anchored strip malls (Think Kroger, Food Lion, Albertsons). As soon as you walk through the front door you smell beef jerky and farts. MDs are all overweight with unkempt beards and look like they've spent the whole night drinking. They can't afford Keurig's in the amateur offices so they have to hand brew it every morning on a $10 Mr. Coffee machine. Don't even ask about the bathrooms, shit-stains galore that never get cleaned except for once a year at the end of every year. Of those that graduated college in the offices, most went somewhere like Kent State, Ohio University, etc. and majored in Communications or Sports Marketing. They typically spend their time cold calling on farmers to see if any of them need equipment loans arraigned to buy more tractors. Occasionally they'll do an "M&A" deal where a father sells his small business (>$2M EBITDA) to his sons. Other than that they mostly just play in the snow and make snowmen outside the office. 

So all in all yeah, I'd say Chicago is pretty back-office. 

 

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