So I'm 24 now. Life is objectively pretty good. I make good money, have a nice gig lined up after being in this job. Parents are in good health, my dad is an executive and is still doing well for my family. I just don't know what to look forward to. I workout and am in decent shape, dress nice, travel sometimes. But those things I used to get excited about just aren't doing anything for me. Getting girls, going to nice restaurants, even listening to good music or watching movies or TV. I feel pretty numb. My parents probably spoiled me a little bit too much so I don't even look forward to buying nice stuff with my bonus.
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Pick up hobbies and try to get really good at them, you have to find new goals, isn’t all just about being comfortable. Challenge yourself with new things.
Completely agree with the hobbies thing, having something you actually enjoy for yourself is invaluable. If you’re starting to feel ridiculously numb and literally you’re ambivalent to everything I would maybe get checked for depression, a lot of times that gets unnoticed in people who “have a good life” externally
I feel like doing something entrepreneurial would help me.
Find God and find purpose in helping other people instead of living for yourself.
Based and Christ-pilled.
amen
Sounds like you could use a bit of good ol' gambling 🤑
Don’t splash the pot
Did your mom give birth to you when she was a PE associate?
Similar age / situation as you and have been feeling the same way lately. Haven't found a solution but have been reading a lot more (fiction and nonfiction, found that's helped some). Think a lot of 24-25 y/o are feeling this today (hence the popularity of things like running clubs, there was just an article that came out on this). For me, I've also started picking up tennis again and that gives me something to look forward to / be competitive at in a friendly way.
As an aside, even though I don't come from money, since I've been able to save up a good amount I'm not nearly as motivated by the prospect of future earnings / savings / materialistic things. Call it a quarter life crisis lol. Likely will pursue a higher-risk path like entrepreneurship in a year or two (though am well aware that it's a dumb idea to pursue building a biz just for the sake of 'feeling something').
lol This makes me feel like a failure. I am 23, about to turn 24, and just graduated college and don't even remotely have my shit together. I would love to be in your guys' positions, not gonna lie.
It was a crazy good feeling for me at first to land the offer and then start to get at the job, but it came and went pretty quick. But I know what you mean, I felt like even more shit when everything was uncertain and I didn't have an offer. Guess I'm just never really satisfied
Get some experience somewhere then go start something… you’ll be young and hungry to prove something which is a powerful combination. Work in PE and the amount of people who dropped out of their jobs to start pest control businesses (trade off a multiple of revenue might I add) that they’re now selling for $20mm within a few years is absurd. Go find a niche and take a chance.
Hobbies, religion/spirituality, not just looking for hookups but dating seriously, and/or volunteering. Get outside your comfort zone, whether it's a hobby, volunteering or even just going to a country with fewer luxuries (one of the less well off countries in Africa, Asia, or S. America) on your next trip.
Sounds like you lack an overarching purpose in your life. We are evolutionarily wired to work toward goals we find meaningful (i.e., were critical to our survival as hunter gatherers). These days, as our brains no longer perceive our actions to have a direct impact on our survival (compare the neural stimuli of hunting a boar and lighting a fire to modeling a DCF), this problem is more widespread than you'd think. To recreate this feeling, you can pursue a hobby or throw yourself after some grand cause you feel is worthy of your efforts. Explore what your passions are and see if you can tie them into some form of life purpose. Many people in finance also tend to be more status-driven than the average person, and hence find fulfillment in climbing the corporate ladder and amassing status signifiers. Doesn't sound like you belong in the latter category, though. Some have suggested religion as well, though I can't recommend that as an atheist.
Nothing to look forward to? What color is your Bugatti then?
Have you tried cocaine?
Join an MMA gym.
I second this. I started doing BJJ about a year ago and it changed my life.
Welcome to the club, fella. It won't necessarily get any better until you build opportunities for yourself, or find some.
Find god
Similar feelings. Strong agree with other comments on hobbies.
Do something difficult where you are behind other people and have tons of improvement to work towards. Makes the weekends productive and fulfilling.
Any examples of what you talked about in the 2nd sentence? Approaching my 30s now and life is getting dull honestly.
My view in that sentence is to pick something challenging that you're not good at, even thought it can be very daunting and there is some FOMO from the realization that you will likely never be 'at the top.' I love martial arts, but I only started as an adult with our typical ridiculous finance hours. I'm no Gordon Ryan or Buakaw, and can't commit the hours they did, but I've still seen the huge runway for growth and enjoy getting better.
More broadly, I think a good set of hobbies would be to have an athletic hobby, a creative hobby, and some sort of "thinking" hobby. These categories could overlap - such as how gardening could be a mix of all three - but you get the idea.
Some that come to mind :
For many people as they get older their children tend to become a focal point in their lives. For many, its the reason why they seek to achieve greater financial success. I am not reccomending you to just go and have children. It seems like you are seeking greater meaning out of life.
I started playing poker in 2014 and it has been the most mentally stimulating, exhilarating game ever. Tourney poker takes forever too so lots of time to fill if you have it. Have won $3.3K on a $33 investment. I play mostly $11-$33 games but have played up to $2,650 $12M GTD.
Increase your wholistic risk appetite; many facets in life to increase risk (calculated) and enjoy new adventures
I’ve been thinking about playing football again, which at my age would be flag football with regular people. Being part of a team, the camaraderie.
I’ve never played football with receiver gloves (in the 1990’s I would have been made fun of). I’m itching for a chance to try.
I do think humans in our modern society have lost a lot of group living, group mission, which is unnatural.
I’m in San Francisco if anyone thinks this is a good idea.
What do you do for fun in SF? Planning on moving there and I think my start is doing some cycling but idk what else.
Any tips on how to meet people for dating?
Sorry if I’m all over the place but seeing that you’re in SF I’m trying to find my way around.
As others have said, I would challenge yourself to think critically about what you want out of life, so that you can use your limited free time to create a roadmap toward those goals. I had a similar perspective to one you have now in my mid-20s, and I spent that time doing three things (outside of work ofc):
1. Getting into great shape for both my health and for my confidence
2. Trying to push myself to do more - I studied for the GMAT, started a small side business with a few friends, and also just tried to take better care of myself through the little stuff (chatting on the phone with my folks, seeing my friends, reflecting on the decisions I'd made, etc.)
3. Start looking for the right life partner. I am a bit older than you now, and the best thing I did in my mid-20s was find the right partner (and now wife). When I met her at 25, I wasn't sure if it would go anywhere, but I started to slowly invest more and more into a relationship that is now the most critical part of my life. Try and date with purpose. Sure, having fun is great too, but in your mid-20s you may want to start being a little more selective. This may not sound like the sexiest pitch, but look for the girl with a good job, a good personality, and great values that align with your own. I am far from an expert on dating, but this was what worked for me.
The three things I've described above are direct investments in yourself, and maybe that is the thesis of what your mid-20s should be like. Many people like to go out and drink too much every weekend, but IMO these were my friends that were the least satisfied and most anxious in their mid-20s. It's much harder to plan for the future and really think critically about what you can do to best position yourself 10 years from now vs. party and letting loose every chance you get, but this was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life.
Bonus: Appreciate the little things as much as possible. Now that I'm a little older, the things I look forward to would sound really boring. A good backyard BBQ with a brisket in a big green egg and all my friends and their wives / fiancés is usually the highlight of my week. To me, that's more enjoyable than any night at the sickest club with the best DJs or a 3 star Michelin restaurant meal. Sometimes small things can still be really exciting and fun, if you can just find a way to appreciate them and enjoy the small things.
I agree with everything you said and strongly emphasize #3. I made the mistake of using my 20s for nothing but career and am only now looking for a life partner at 34 and I regret doing so.
Many women in their 30s here in LA aren't exactly wife-material and I wish I started looking much sooner when society and dating was different. Dating for fun is easy, dating with intention for the purpose of finding a partner isn't as easy as it is in one's 20s.
I hear you man, dating certainly hasn't gotten any easier. It's really really hard to find the right person, and it takes a lot of time and effort. Also (and this doesn't relate to you at all, but to people in general), if you are meeting people you are really interested in, that you think could be the right partner, but they aren't into you, then you need to work on yourself. You may not be holding yourself to the same set of standards you expect from a significant other.
Couple of things here.
1. First, congrats to realize this at 24. You're way ahead of the game. Some people don't get it until way later like myself.
2. As some people said, religion is a great way to find meaning but it doesn't necessarily solve the problem of having something to look forward to other than meeting the good Lord one day. I was at a point in my life where I was religious, had meaning and a sense of peace, but year to year, had nothing in particular to look forward to.
3. Things actually get worse. You're 24 and there's not much to look forward to. As you get older, it only gets worse. Because you have only bad things to look forward to. Grandparents dieing, parents getting sick, yourself getting older.
4. Start a family. Don't do this for self-entertainment purposes but a family creates things to look forward to. First house together. Kids. Their first steps, going to school, watching what sports and things they get into, watching their successes. Teaching them and watching them learn. You again have something to look forward to every year.
an early retirement to Atlantic City will help you out
m340I and downpipe + tune bro trust
Just work work work work work. Work work work work.
Just start training BJJ/grappling. You will find purpose.
You lack struggle/hardship and therefore purpose. You said you're in decent shape? Sounds like you have something to work towards there. Set a goal and make contributions toward it everyday, even if this sacrifices your comfort. Get in stupendous shape. Try to be the best at something. There's a lot of shit to live for beyond consuming media and buying shit.
Same thing for me.
I'm 25 and an AS1 in IB in a group that has pretty good hours and leaves me a lot of autonomy even as an AS1. Obviously I still work a lot more than a normal job, but I really don't work that hard a lot of weeks and this feels like a role I would be dumb to leave from a lifestyle perspective. Other than work I workout 5-6 times a week and go out with my friends at least once most weekends, and that's kind of it. I have zero interest in eating out at nice restaurants, zero interest in going on dates with girls I'm not into, and on a slow work week I honestly get bored in my free time.
Part of it is that I was a varsity athlete throughout HS and college, so I've basically had no free time for the last 11 years of my life already. People say I should quit and do something else, but I don't see how that would help since I already don't know what to do with my free time and it's not like there's a career I am passionate about that I could pursue.
The one thing I do look forward to is travel, even short weekend trips with friends. I don't travel in luxury or stay in nice places or anything like that, but it's just nice to change pace every once in awhile. I don't think I've been home for more than 6 weeks in a row in two years. I also don't come from money and know I won't be getting anything from my parents, so in that sense I am motivated from a financial perspective to build wealth, not just for me, but for a family down the line.
Truthfully, with an entire world before you, life isn't boring. You are.
I'm bored reading your post.
Go experience a story worth telling. You've clearly never lived or experienced anything actually challenging.
If this comment feels provocative, good.
Take some time to go into the mountains or travel to a new country by yourself. Sounds cliché, but it will help you reconnect with your identity and goals.
Read the book “The Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida. Some interesting perspective on finding your purpose and leading a fulfilling life (especially in the first third or so of the book). Don’t agree with everything but worth giving it a read, it’s not long and speaks to many of the things you’re dealing with.
Good luck
Life is dull when you live only for yourself. Furthermore, life is not a Hollywood movie. Its full of ups and downs, not one constant thrill ride. Slow times give us time to take stock of where we are and hopefully appreciate what we have. If you are too bored, you should get involved in something that makes a difference - Church, nonprofit, charity, etc. Also, don't become complacent as life has a tendency to send you a complete upset when you least expect it.
Find some volunteer work. It will be life changing in a positive way.
blows my mind how some people are bored tbh
i've got to learn languages, musical instruments, fitness (both strength and cardio), keeping in touch with friends, religion, family relationships, volunteering, gaming, reading, travel, housework (i.e. carpentry, upgrading/throwing away stuff)
i could literally retire and spend time on my hobbies and still not have enough time for the stuff i want to do.
Yeah I don't get it. I haven't been bored since middle school.
Also, learning the technicals of Muay Thai and BJJ can last a lifetime.
try gambling
Sounds like you need to buy an F82 BMW M4
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