Most Prestigious Types of Poop?

After careful consideration, I have come up with a ranking for the prestige tier list for types of poop.

The Log: (GS/EVR/Q/CVP)

The single solid log is the most prestigious of poops and demonstrates a balanced diet and healthy stool.

The Lovers: (BofA/JPM/PJT)

The double mini log (AKA "The Lovers") are slightly less prestigious than a singular log but still demonstrate the prestige of a good poop.

The Nuggets: (LAZ/MS/Moelis/PWP)

These small to medium sized nuggets represent a relatively balanced diet but less fibre intake and ability to retain shape. Lower prestige but respected in the poop industry.

The Campbell's Chunky Soup: (Citi/Barc/UBS)

The mix of chunkiness and slightly dissolved poop represents a need for more fibre and an overall middle rating in the poop industry, not good but not bad. Your below average poop. 

The Oatmeal: (Gugg/Greenhill/DB/RBC)

This is when the poop begins looking more like liquid and consists of diarrhea. Shit poop prestige and signs that you're a fatass or depressed +20lbs AN1. 

The Phantom Poop: (Baird/WB/TD)

The type of poop where you sit on the toilet and have the feeling to poop but nothing comes out and you feel unsatisfied. May have burning feeling in butthole. Symbolic for firms that work on mandates and bakeoffs that never close.