Is there anything that I can do?
I am extremely lucky, I got a ft job in SF with no prior ib experience. I am really grateful.
That said, I am having a really tough time with the move to SF. I am from NY, my family lives there, my friends all live there, and I love it there. On top of that, my mother is having health issues and my younger brother (9th grade) is going through a really tough time. My mother was just diagnosed with multiple autoimmune diseases. My younger brother is the youngest of 4 kids, so he grew up with a bunch of siblings constantly around him, and now he's alone at home and struggling with depression. I would do almost anything to be with him and my mother, even if it's only an hour on Saturdays.
My company said I could maybe move offices after my 2 years when I asked right after receiving the offer, but I would do anything to be in NY now near my family. Is it worth asking the company again if I can move to the NY office now after my mother was diagnosed with the autoimmune diseases? Or is there anything else that I can do?
I know I am lucky to have my job, and I am very grateful for it.
Oh that's hard. I think reneg wouldn't be too awful in this situation if they don't let you switch offices, but other places dont rly have openings. sorry about your family
I don't want to reneg -- I'm scared of it backfiring, but is it worth applying to other places if I see openings?
Have somewhat of a similar situation. But my location is much closer to home than NY to SF. I say you do the job for a year and then make it back to NYC. Let your little brother get acclimated, it might be hard for him the first 6 months but I can 100% promise you once he gets situated in school it’ll be a lot easier for him.
My best advice would be to try and do it for 1 year, visit family as much as possible on weekends, than after 1 year, recruit for any bank in NYC.
Thank you. It's not even worth asking my firm to switch offices now? Not trying to push back at all, just really desperate in this situation and trying to do anything I can -- really appreciate your advice
I’m sorry about your situation man. I don’t think there’s any way that a new hire (repeatedly) asking to switch offices before he starts comes across positively unless you’re really ready to quit and move to NYC if they say no. If they told you already “maybe after 2 years”, I don’t think anything you say will change that to “definitely, we’ll pay for your flight to NYC tomorrow.” If you rub folks the wrong way, you risk annoying people upfront and getting bad treatment, bad staffings, #1 position on potential layoff list, and a poor experience overall.
You have to realize that as a new hire you have no leverage or experience or goodwill at all, you’re just a body to them. I think you should either get another job in nyc asap and reneg on this bank, or do good work, learn as much as you can, and aim to lateral to NYC around Dec / Jan. Bunch of people lateraled from my bank starting as early as 6 month mark. I’m not saying be loyal to your bank, I’m saying make the most out of this situation. In the meantime you can visit for holidays easy (4th, Labor, Thanksgiving, Christmas/NY).
Once market allows, some of these MMs are constantly hiring (HL, JEF) and will take people 6 months in that are rock solid, pass a modeling test, and can hit the ground running.
Thanks man. You're right -- I don't want to annoy them and mess things up before I even get there. Really appreciate your advice
Awful situation and I hope your family gets through this difficult stretch. I do not think it could hurt to simply explain your current situation to HR and ask if there were any way you could start in NYC. Sure they could say no, but you would be in the same position you are now.
Especially in today's world, people are understanding of others personal life.
You mention 2 other siblings, so they live in nyc? Is your dad in the picture? Any other family can help?
You mention how “lucky” you are several times to land this job, so it sounds like you don’t have a strong resume and just reneging and finding a gig in nyc is unlikely.
My advice would be to take the job and target moving to the nyc office in two years. Make sure the firm knows that’s your desire.
And then in the meantime, see if your other family members can carry the burden for the next two years.
Normally, family trumps career. But I’m slowly learning that not everyone has successful parents to fall back on, and perhaps the money and job opportunity is something you and your family need right now. Only you know the answer to that.
Request from your current employer a long leave (2 or 3 months) for the reasons you pointed out. While you're in NY, go around and look if someone wants to recruit you. If you can't get anything or your employer refuses your long leave request, then decide between the following 3:
1. You remain in SF for 2 years; action: do nothing
2. You ask to be relocated to NY (slim chances of happening); action: ask
2. You leave your current job and you try to find a good job in NYC; action: leave
You can try working for a few months and then apply elsewhere? Very risky move but just an idea
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