Self Worth Taking a Hit (Need Help)
How do you guys deal with constant rejection. My mental health and self worth is being absolutely destroyed as I attempt to get a 2021 SA position. Everyone here seems to have had banking plans since middle school. I recently networked so hard with a firm and spoke to two MD's who both said I would be ideal for the position, fast forward didn't even get a first round. How do you guys keep a positive attitude when everyone around you is saying your not good enough? Sorry, really need some advice, feeling like crap right now.
Dude, you've gotta keep your chin up and don'r let it get you down. My friend started recruiting last summer... barely could get any interviews, and when he did, got rejected first round by Nomura and Cowen... in the fall, couldn't get any interviews thru early October... kept plugging away... fast forward to mid October, got interviews and offers from Goldman and JPMorgan, I shit you not. We look back and laugh that these firms that are considered maybe the 25th to 30th best shops on the Street wouldn't even give him interviews, and then he gets offers from 2 of the top 3. Shit like that happens all the time -- you never know. And it's not like you have to get an offer from the big boys, that's not my point. Just persevere, keep networking via Linkedin and apply on and off cycle to a 15 places a week, and eventually you'll get something. You read this shit all the time on this site -- people apply to 300 places, get 40 responses, 5 interviews and then they finally land something. It's a numbers game, and if you keep networking and applying (and if you prepare for your interviews so that you're knowledgable about the markets, the technicals and the firm), you'll get something. Chin up.
That your self-worth is taking a hit suggests that you had a decent sense of it before this (can't speak to the mental health aspect bc everyone's different there). Every rejection is someone's opinion that you aren't right for the position.
What helped me through the process was taking every negative remark/result and mentally replying with "yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man." Only you know your situation and what you're capable of. I could see if you were setting unrealistic expectations given your stats/background or you need to improve something in your strategy, but once those are taken care of then it's just a numbers game. It takes a lot of luck, but you only gotta get lucky once.
You mentioned "a firm," singular. With how competitive this game is, you need to be casting as wide a net as possible. I once had a networking call with a guy that told me that my resume was too weak for banking while I already had two superdays at similar/larger banks lined up. I knew I had a shot at an SA position so I just took that opinion with a grain of salt. If YOU know that you can succeed, take everyone's opinion as just that, an opinion.
Most of us have been there. I spent months unemployed after graduating having actually turned down a great FT IBD offer to risk an internship that didn't pan out.
Despite a strong CV, it took a lot of hustle, rejection and self-reflection (and painfully readjusting my expectations) until I got lucky and finally landed a top job in consulting instead. A lot of it is down to hustle, numbers and luck. Focus on what you can control - targeting places you truly want to work, practising interview skills etc. but quite importantly....look after yourself. Health is wealth. You need to be mentally strong, happy with your overall balance in life and physically fit to perform well in the interviews you will eventually get.
And, remember, only YOU know your worth. Who gives a fuck if everyone else says you aren't good enough. You're young so I get it but don't let it affect you. I'm as pedigreed as it gets - top university (in the world), top brand names, MF PE blah blah blah. Yes, you need to be smart and work hard. But there are so many of us lucking it out along the way and still trying to figure shit out. Many are insecure, which is what drives them, and ultimately IB is not the only path to success in life. In fact, many or even most PE / IB folk are in absolute awe of entrepreneurs (of all backgrounds and types), seasoned industry operators who actually run businesses, hell even mediocre celebs / stars that have made decent buck whilst having fun and not grinding away in their 20s and 30s. These people came from many walks in life and faced constant rejection at numerous points in their careers (this is true of many top financiers too).
So please, hustle as much as possible (contact people via Linkedin, leverage your network, be open to new roles and lower tier institutions), and in the mean time find other ways to enrich your life - entrepreneurial pursuits, hobbies etc. You will realise, as you grow older, that other people's opinions become irrelevant as you become more comfortable with yourself and your own mortality (as dire as that sounds, if you think about the insignificance of our lives and what you'd want to reflect on on your deathbed, then these insecure comparisons in this forum and industry - on preffftige, banks, money - which reinforces the insecurity that reduces your happiness, becomes meaningless). Mental health and an understanding of your identity drives happiness, in the long run, not a stint in IB.