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Get help guys. Life is too short to deal with this shit and no job is worth it. Therapy, whatever you think will help, and if nothing else shoot me a PM. Happy to lend a listening ear. Be safe out there.

 

Your job is not worth your life. Full stop. Look on your employer's HR website - there should be a 24 hour hotline you can call to speak with a therapist/psychiatrist through your insurance. It will get you help ASAP and it's there for things like this. Although this may be difficult, you need to confide in your staffer. I had to do it when I was going through a rough patch but it made me feel 100x better and helped me get back on track workwise. You're not the first person to have these problems and that's what your staffer is there for -- hang in there and we're all rooting for you. 

 

Come up with a plan for times when they get too intense and you find yourself thinking through specifics - see where nearby inpatient (or partial inpatient) psych programs are. Talk to a professional ASAP and let your employer know you need some time off for health purposes. They won't ask you too many questions and it is the best thing for your career. Please please please take this seriously

 

Not just you brother. I have been feeling numb for the past few months but I carry on as I recognize that this temporary setback will eventually cease to exist and happiness will return.

 

Life is too worth it to be thinking about that friend. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Life ebbs and flows, and while I don't know you or your situation, things will definitely get better. There is no shame in walking away from this job if that is what it takes. It might seem impossible but its not. You can literally just stop showing up. They can't make you go back, nobody can. Get on a plane and go somewhere you've always wanted to go, idk, something like that. Literally spike your work phone off the pavement like Stanley Tucci in Margin Call. Fucking launch that bitch. It doesn't own you. No shame in seeking help either. You are worth it man. To you family, to your friends, and to yourself. 

Dayman?
 

Send me a message and I will talk you off the ledge at any point man.

If you are in banking before you do anything, get sleep. Email your team and say you aren’t feeling well and will be heading to the doctor and you will be unresponsive. Ignore all emails the rest of the day, I promise they will figure it out. I once almost jumped out of a window due to lack of sleep only. I woke up and realized none of my problems were actually that bad.

if your problems are larger, take the next weekend off—don’t ask, just email your teams saying you are taking the weekend off due to illness. Then start thinking about if this job makes sense for your long term goals and whether it’s the right time to take a job like this. You might have a more stable mentality or personal situation that makes a demanding job make more sense when you are older versus right now. That’s ok and I promise you won’t care in the long run. Overall, try to remember what life was like in 8th grade, junior year in hs, junior year in college, and now. I’m guessing your life and you were very different at each of those points so recognize that in a year you could be in a completely different situation and most important is to just take it one day at a time.

 

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