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"Elite boutique retail bank teller"
Anything other than simply "banking" makes you sound like a complete tool. Can elaborate if the asker sounds genuinely interested
I just say I work in finance
Thank you, Ryan Howard
I'm into... well, murders and executions mostly.
One time i said i work for a bank, the guy tried to convince me to serve with him at a restaurant because it pays more then being a bank teller
I told him im happy being a bank teller since one day i want to move up the ladder
Oh yeah I know that life — I interned at a cable company and I just got so tired of telling people “oh no, I work at corporate I don’t work at the call center / I’m not a technician” I started letting people believe whatever they wanted
Edit: also, telling people you work at a cable company 90% of the time got me an angry response about their bill being too high / bad customer service / some random problem they had and I just started saying “sorry, that’s not my department”
Depends on where I am and who it is..
Most people/not industry: I buy, sell and grow eCommerce companies.
Industry: I own a small private equity firm with a focus on DNVBs and eCommerce that does everything from distressed buyouts to growth/venture.
If you're in investment banking and trying to explain what you do to like...your gf's mom with room temp IQ then I think it's easier to tell people that you help companies raise capital, sell themselves or buy other companies. It doesn't come across as pretentious that way and sounds straightforward. Can't really expect anyone to know what an investment banker is.
They probably thought you said Murders and Executions and just did not want to probe any further
That's been my experience, anytime I have said investment banker people always start asking asking about investments and stock tips![]()
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There’s a certain subset of the population (think the people who come to the family reunion) where I just say “it’s like shark tank”. Otherwise, “finance”, “investments”, etc works fine unless I’m specifically trying to network.
You should go sell his school to show him who's the real boss now
For IBD M&A, people usually get it if you say "I'm like a real estate agent except instead of houses, we help buy/sell entire companies. Ever seen that graphic where a few corporations rule every mainstream brand? Yeah it's because of us." That usually sparks interesting convo
I tell them I am doing God's work.
"I professionally suck dick for money."