What do you tell people you work as?

"Elite boutique retail bank teller"

Anything other than simply "banking" makes you sound like a complete tool. Can elaborate if the asker sounds genuinely interested

He's an importer exporter

“I work in finance” or “I work at a bank”

Depends on where I am and who it is..

Most people/not industry: I buy, sell and grow eCommerce companies.

Industry: I own a small private equity firm with a focus on DNVBs and eCommerce that does everything from distressed buyouts to growth/venture.

If you're in investment banking and trying to explain what you do to like...your gf's mom with room temp IQ then I think it's easier to tell people that you help companies raise capital, sell themselves or buy other companies. It doesn't come across as pretentious that way and sounds straightforward. Can't really expect anyone to know what an investment banker is.

There’s a certain subset of the population (think the people who come to the family reunion) where I just say “it’s like shark tank”. Otherwise, “finance”, “investments”, etc works fine unless I’m specifically trying to network.

I usually say investment banking. I had to say construction for a while and got a lot of slow nods w/ grimaces, sometimes accompanied by an "mmm, yeah, that's tough" that I'm comfortable saying that I have a good job. I even had one guy, a former high school teacher, say "yeah, that's the best that some ppl can do." Meanwhile, he's still teaching 10th grade English. If ppl ask me to explain what I do, I just say that investment bankers are like investment advisers to companies.

"I throw money at startups. Think of Shark Tank without the TV show"

Finance. It's the equivalent of saying "I work in medicine". If people know or care then you can tell what job role in what specialty, but 99% of the time you really don't care....and 99% of the time people don't care or know what different jobs in finance there are.

Investment fund. Says more than banking since most people assume a bank teller job

For IBD M&A, people usually get it if you say "I'm like a real estate agent except instead of houses, we help buy/sell entire companies. Ever seen that graphic where a few corporations rule every mainstream brand? Yeah it's because of us." That usually sparks interesting convo

I used to just say that I work in trading .. But I stopped that for 2 reasons .. First, it would often illicit follow up questions where people asked me to analyze their Fidelity account, get my thoughts on some penny stock, or if I thought their guy at Edward Jones was bum.

The second reason was because some branches of the extended family, in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis, would get downright hostile with me.... It was "guys like me" who were keeping the working man from getting ahead.

Now I just say finance.

At first I would say “I work in banking” or “I work in finance”, which would lead to follow up questions like “What do you think of mutual funds vs ETFs? Do you think I should buy gold? What will the Fed do?”

Now I just say “I work at a bank.” People assume I’m a bank teller. No follow up questions ever.

I trade/I’m a trader, people seem to get it.

"Analyst at a bank downtown" is my typical answer. Usually suffices, since analyst indicates I'm not a teller and people typically won't ask me more. "Finance" is also good.

"I'm an Investment Banking associate at a bulge bracket bank." simultaneously making Johnny Manziel money sign with hands

-Me after MBA takes me out of wretched back office

I tell them I am doing God's work.

I'll normally say "finance". I try not to elaborate unless the person is genuinely interested - you never know how some individuals will react and some seem to have a deep hatred/ get triggered by those anywhere near "finance"...

Situations like this can happen - talking with a girl I met at a mutual friends place while working in consulting.

Asks me what I do and we have the following exchange...

Me: I'm a management consultant

Her: what kind of "consulting" to you do?

Me: I help asset managers, insurers, banks make strategic decisions, enter new markets, blah x3. (i guess she just hears "finance")

Her: LOL seriously? you work with "those" people. that's unreal.

Me: not sure what you mean? yes, exec at those companies are my clients

Her: they're immoral charlatans. Do you think it's cool that those finance guys exploit poor people and minorities? is that the "strategy" you to make for them?

Me: a lot of my colleagues come from that industry as well - I actually find the people to be great and I think the work is really interesting.

Her: that's funny. whatever helps you sleep at night.

Me: ... (awkward look at her, shoot a glance at a friend who gives me the raised eyebrows, "she's nuts", kind of look, walk away to get another beer/eject from the convo.)

"I professionally suck dick for money."

Usually start with commercial real estate. If they push further say the financing side of it. Find most people judge if you start with finance or banking