Title says it all. I know that the intern making accumulated simple mistakes or if the intern just isn't a cultural fit they won't end up with a return offer.
Do you guys have any stories of single actions/events where an intern was instantly 'dinged'... like something you can't come back from? Would love to hear some stories. Not investment banking specific, but just your experiences
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Disagree. I know two summer interns that banged analysts during their time and both got a return offer
story time?
Let me guess, the interns were female and the analysts were male?
Better story if it were the other way around
Nope, both interns were male. What made it even better was that one of the the female analysts was in a relationship with an analyst from another firm. Her actual boyfriend was a pretty geeky dude, but was a real hard worker and is destined to make it in banking. The intern that managed to bang her was a sports scholar and "strikingly handsome" - a drunk female senior associate, 2016.
Anyway, what makes the story great is that after the internships ended (and he got a return offer) news got out that this guy was banging an analyst for the whole summer, including to her boyfriend who for some reason decided to stay with her (the intern called it off with her because she was "too clingy"). A few months later the female analysts boyfriend, who continued to date her despite knowing she was banging another guy for a few months, was applying for new jobs and an SA buddy of mine was present when a recruiter from the bank he was applying to saw his Resume and laughed saying "this guy lets his girlfriend bang a younger, better looking dude for 3 months and does nothing about it, I have no interest in him working with me", and tosses the Resume in the trash.
Everyone makes mistakes - but showing no improvement in attention to detail over the entire summer + dipping out early + being unresponsive when the team needed something = game over
Going the EXTRA EXTRA mile. A firm I interned at a while back asked me to find some people to interview in a certain industry. They just expected a list of names and details. I compiled a larger excel file with names, emails, phone numbers, best time to contact them, how useful they may be to the research on a scale of 1-10 based on certain factors I outlined. This was going the extra mile and they were very happy. I then went ahead and interviewed a couple of them myself thinking this was the EXTRA EXTRA mile and they would be happy. The week after I was brought into a meeting with the 2 analysts I was working with and a director about teamwork and how I should have communicated better with them about doing the interviews.
Luckily I was offered a return, but the lesson here is that had I stuck to just handing in the more complete list or had I first asked if I could do the interviews, things would have been much better than thinking that level of initiative would be appreciated. Very very close to being dinged.
As simple as it sounds, do what you are hired to do aka "play your position." A lot of times people want to take more on or gain experience, but in reality they just need to do their job.
For example, you can't be hired as an offensive lineman in the NFL, but on a whim decide to go out for a pass because "no defender was in the area."
Agreed. The lesson I learnt was to do the task you're given in the best possible way without spilling over into another task. If you truly did the original task perfectly, you'll be given others quickly.
One kid got dinged cause we were fairly confident he was masturbating in the bathroom. It's not like it was something we could prove (no one is going to put their head over the top of a stall or anything crazy), but we were pretty confident that he was doing it every now and then.
I get that the days are long and sometimes you don't have a ton of work to do, but save the masturbating for home kids. Or at least find a single bathroom that isn't shared with others.
...how on earth did you all arrive at this conclusion, as a group?
Sometimes you would see a moving shadow doing the same two positions under the stall. Amateur move.
Interns that try to brown nose and suck up to directors while ignoring building relationships with the analysts. The directors will see right through it anyways.
There was this one kid we had last summer that was just a huge goober. Just super bouncing off the walls, almost too gung-ho about stuff.
He was also very frequently guilty of rushing through work (his thought process was the faster you can complete your work the better you are) and always making stupid mistakes. He would do this again and again.
That's gonna be a no for me dawg.
My kid is the same. I think the phrase "we gotta close this deal" leaves his mouth no less than 20 times/day.
Was putting together a buyers list for a sell-side pitch yesterday. Kid was sitting with me at my desk while I was thinking about strategics. He got up and went back to his desk so, naturally, I asked him what he was doing. His response? "I don't know, I feel like we're wasting time." I reminded him that I do not care about his time, nonetheless, he's on my SL for the next eight weeks.
antsy, entitled prick. bully the shit outa him til he cries
I know, right? Man I can't stand people who waste other people's time.
I dinged an intern for never completing a project. The guy would come in, pretend to work, and provide a half ass shit product. I had to speak to him three times about paying attention to detail, following directions and generally, not fucking up. Best part is that I received a call from a friend at another firm telling me that this guy claimed to bang out complex LBO models all day and was leading client calls... Laughable.
I had another intern that could never figure out what was meant by business dress code. This dude would show up in jeans, T-shirts and scuffed up Nikes. He also couldn't figure out how to do basic research. I sent him home twice and on third time asked him to not come back.
Oh how far I've evolved since being a college student. If I ever worked in an environment today where I have to be walking on eggshells for fear of getting "dinged", I'd tell that employer where to stick it and leave because that signals a shitty workplace. I blame the university professors for conditioning our young minds into such a system of control that they come to expect a system where people get "dinged" for a minor transgression.
Really, the only reason one should work anywhere as a summer intern is to make money, gain experience, and be productive for your employer. It should be an equal exchange of value. If you could do those three things barring anything outrageously inappropriate happening, then you shouldn't have to worry about getting dinged. Unfortunately, the unholy alliance of endowment between the banks and universities creates a crop of students year after year who are willing to lick monkey turds if their boss tells them to... because Wall Street.
I doubt he read the entire post. I'm an (older) millenial and this post comes off to even me as an entitled millenial post. He managed to:
1) Throw in manufactured/over-reacted outrage for a non-existent transgression, 2) Bash the university professors for conditioning even though he's apparently an evolved, critical-minded product of this 'unholy alliance', 3) Somehow make the assertion that the banks fund the endowments, 4) Sprinkle in an illogical use of 'Wall Street' for good measure.
My guess is that he's a Vegan given the above and his added aversion to walking on eggshells. Probably living somewhere with bad weather given the pessimistic view... My gut is telling me Portland.
.
I told a summer analyst to take notes on a management call and he/she replied with, "isn't that your job, I was planning on leaving early for a concert today (Friday)".
Fashion. Kids have been dinged by Ds and MDs for wearing: - fat pinstripes - white shoes - pale blue suit - fedora with suit - suspenders
Summer Analyst got wasted at company drinks in his first week on the job. Spilt a drink all over a senior guy and then felt up 2 female members of staff.
Usually you wait until after your offer to start groping staff, right?
I think he was trying to "feel up" the offers first!
+1 SB.
We had a summer intern that seemed generally ok, although a bit bland. About 3 weeks into the summer, he said that he would be out the following week on vacation. We all collectively raised one eyebrow and asked him if he thought it was appropriate to mention this time off so late in the game.
He swore up and down that it was a family trip that had been planned long ago and that he had mentioned it when he was hired. No one seemed to remember this, and of course it was a verbal conversation.
So we just sort of said .. well, do what you think is best .. and know that you weren't offered any paid time off.
So he's gone the next week .. and then following Monday rolls around. He doesn't show up, but called one of us and left a voicemail .. Apparently he was having trouble gettting back because his flight was cancelled due to weather. We don't see him Tuesday... and then he calls Wednesday morning .. Now says he is back in the US (he was in the Bahammas or something), but is now having trouble entering the country (he was an EU citizen, but was fully cleared to work in, and enter the US).
We don't see him Thursday .. and then Friday he calls and is like "it looks like I'm getting things sorted out with border control, but best case scenario I'll be in next week Monday .. or Tuesday"
Nah bud .. we're good .. you keep chilling.