what the f*** is up with these shite investment banking analyst wages?

Alright, listen up lads! As a fresh-faced first-year IB analyst in the big smoke, I gotta say, the comp situation ain't looking too hot, ya know what I mean? I mean, I know we're all supposed to be grateful for the opportunity to grind it out in this cutthroat industry, but c'mon now, we gotta be real with ourselves.

I'm talking about the bloody hourly rate, mate. When you break it down, it's a bit of a pisstake, ain't it? I mean, sure, we're making some decent coin, but when you consider the absurd hours we're putting in, it's hardly worth it.

Let me break it down for ya: I'm pulling in roughly £25 an hour, but when you factor in the 80-100 hour weeks, it's like I'm barely making minimum wage. And don't even get me started on the bonus situation - I'm starting to think that's just a bloody myth at this point.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the opportunity to work in this industry and learn from some of the best in the biz, but at the end of the day, a bloke's gotta eat, ya know? It's time for the powers that be to start throwing some more cash our way, or else they're gonna start losing some top talent to the hedge funds and private equity shops.

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Anonymous Monkey

Alright, listen up lads! As a fresh-faced first-year IB analyst in the big smoke, I gotta say, the comp situation ain't looking too hot, ya know what I mean? I mean, I know we're all supposed to be grateful for the opportunity to grind it out in this cutthroat industry, but c'mon now, we gotta be real with ourselves.

I'm talking about the bloody hourly rate, mate. When you break it down, it's a bit of a pisstake, ain't it? I mean, sure, we're making some decent coin, but when you consider the absurd hours we're putting in, it's hardly worth it.

Let me break it down for ya: I'm pulling in roughly £25 an hour, but when you factor in the 80-100 hour weeks, it's like I'm barely making minimum wage. And don't even get me started on the bonus situation - I'm starting to think that's just a bloody myth at this point.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the opportunity to work in this industry and learn from some of the best in the biz, but at the end of the day, a bloke's gotta eat, ya know? It's time for the powers that be to start throwing some more cash our way, or else they're gonna start losing some top talent to the hedge funds and private equity shops.

most concise brit

 

I’d be surprised if an American knew what “The Big Smoke” was if they didn’t live/work in the UK. I had never heard the term until I started working with a company in the midlands. We Americans also have no clue how to properly use the term pisstake (I still don’t…). 

CompBanker’s Career Guidance Services: https://www.rossettiadvisors.com/
 

I thought he meant the hours he was working made his life shite.

which would be tolerable if bonuses were better.

 

Calm your tits folks. This is a ChatGPT generated post. When you add "in the style of a wallstreetoasis.com user" you generate content like this. Copy and paste his post on GPTZero and pretty much this troll gets exposed

 

"Complain about the conditions of Investment Banking in the style of a wallstreetoasis.com user". Here's what I got:

Ugh, don't even get me started on the conditions of investment banking. It's an absolute nightmare.

First of all, the hours are beyond brutal. You're expected to work 80-100 hours a week, and if you don't, you're seen as lazy and not committed to the job. And forget about work-life balance - there is none. Your entire life becomes the job, and you're lucky if you get one day off a week.

And the pay? Yeah, it's good, but it's not worth sacrificing your mental and physical health for. You're constantly stressed out and exhausted, and the money just isn't enough to make up for it.

And let's not forget about the constant pressure to perform. You're expected to be perfect all the time, and one mistake could ruin your entire career. And the competition is cutthroat - everyone is trying to climb the ladder, and they'll do whatever it takes to get ahead, even if it means throwing you under the bus.

And don't even get me started on the culture. It's a bunch of Ivy League brats who think they're hot stuff because they work for a big bank. There's a serious lack of diversity, and if you don't fit the mold, you'll never fit in.

In short, investment banking is a soul-sucking, life-consuming job that isn't worth the stress, exhaustion, and sacrifice. Unless you're absolutely obsessed with finance and can't imagine doing anything else, stay far, far away.

Pretty much summarized 90% of the topics around here.

 

Well, it seems our UK analyst friend is feeling a bit miffed about their compensation. Perhaps they should take a leaf out of the US banker's book and start tweeting about their lavish lifestyles and six-figure bonuses. Who needs job satisfaction when you can have Instagram validation, right?

In all seriousness though, investment banking is not for the faint-hearted. It takes a certain type of person to thrive in this cutthroat industry, and the compensation reflects that. So if our UK analyst friend can't handle the heat, perhaps they should consider a career in something a bit more low-key, like flower arranging or stamp collecting.

Of course, I'm just kidding. Investment banking is a challenging and rewarding career path for those who are up for the challenge. And while compensation is important, it's not everything. At the end of the day, job satisfaction and personal fulfillment are just as crucial, even if they don't come with a six-figure bonus.

 

“Top talent” is already leaving the industry hence the repeated complaints on this site from higher ups. But they don’t want to pay more and instead comfort themselves by trying to generalize an entire generation as being soft or entitled.

Array
 

I don’t understand the math on this, Every time someone makes this argument about making less than minimum wage in IB no one breaks down the math.

Most banks are paying An1’s 110k, let’s say you work 90 hour weeks every single week (not exactly accurate either but let’s rock with this for argument sake) , 1 week vacation a year: that is 4,680 hours a year.

110,000/4,680 ≈ $23.50 an hour , excluding any sign on bonuses or year end bonuses (even though in a normal comp year we know a 40-60% bonus for An1 is feasible)

New York minimum wage is $14.20 per hour, California minimum wage is $15.50 per hour,

Chicago minimum wage is $15 per hour,

Texas minimum wage is $7.25 per hour,

London minimum wage is ≈$9.50 per hour (depending on exchange rate, £8.91 per hour)

Am I missing something?

Also the argument is flawed because everyone knows the pay progression in IB is massive and within 3 years it isn’t unreasonable to see your compensation double.

If you don’t like how it breaks down per hour go get a 9-5 and make 60-70k a year 🤷‍♂️

Any thoughts on this?

 
WalnutBrain

I don't understand the math on this, Every time someone makes this argument about making less than minimum wage in IB no one breaks down the math.

Most banks are paying An1's 110k, let's say you work 90 hour weeks every single week (not exactly accurate either but let's rock with this for argument sake) , 1 week vacation a year: that is 4,680 hours a year.

110,000/4,680 ≈ $23.50 an hour , excluding any sign on bonuses or year end bonuses (even though in a normal comp year we know a 40-60% bonus for An1 is feasible)

New York minimum wage is $14.20 per hour, California minimum wage is $15.50 per hour,

Chicago minimum wage is $15 per hour,

Texas minimum wage is $7.25 per hour,

London minimum wage is ≈$9.50 per hour (depending on exchange rate, £8.91 per hour)

Am I missing something?

Also the argument is flawed because everyone knows the pay progression in IB is massive and within 3 years it isn't unreasonable to see your compensation double.

If you don't like how it breaks down per hour go get a 9-5 and make 60-70k a year 🤷‍♂️

Any thoughts on this?

So your argument is analysts make under $10/hr more than minimum wage excluding bonus? Doesn't seem that compelling to me. This analysis should also really be done on a post-tax basis since the difference will be even less.

 

It's written by a bot. But let's assume that it was true, that indeed analysts are paid minimum wage. What people would still miss in that case is the exponential salary growth of IB if they stay for the long term. If you're not passionate about anything in particular but want to be relatively rich to your fellow American, then IB is a good place to do that.

 

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