what the f*** is up with these shite investment banking analyst wages?
Alright, listen up lads! As a fresh-faced first-year IB analyst in the big smoke, I gotta say, the comp situation ain't looking too hot, ya know what I mean? I mean, I know we're all supposed to be grateful for the opportunity to grind it out in this cutthroat industry, but c'mon now, we gotta be real with ourselves.
I'm talking about the bloody hourly rate, mate. When you break it down, it's a bit of a pisstake, ain't it? I mean, sure, we're making some decent coin, but when you consider the absurd hours we're putting in, it's hardly worth it.
Let me break it down for ya: I'm pulling in roughly £25 an hour, but when you factor in the 80-100 hour weeks, it's like I'm barely making minimum wage. And don't even get me started on the bonus situation - I'm starting to think that's just a bloody myth at this point.
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the opportunity to work in this industry and learn from some of the best in the biz, but at the end of the day, a bloke's gotta eat, ya know? It's time for the powers that be to start throwing some more cash our way, or else they're gonna start losing some top talent to the hedge funds and private equity shops.
most concise brit
Fucking mad, innit?
Time to unionise mate
2023: the year investment banks first began losing talent to HF and PE (according to British calendar)
this sounds like an american trying to sound british
I’d be surprised if an American knew what “The Big Smoke” was if they didn’t live/work in the UK. I had never heard the term until I started working with a company in the midlands. We Americans also have no clue how to properly use the term pisstake (I still don’t…).
No this is definitely an American pretending to be British. I've never heard anyone, let alone a British person, say "the big smoke" in my 20+ years of living in this country. In fact I had to just look up what that meant.
Also overuse of ain't and bloody is a dead giveaway
Calculating your hourly wage before factoring in your number of hours worked is the type of out of the box thinking this industry needs.
I thought he meant the hours he was working made his life shite.
which would be tolerable if bonuses were better.
GENERAL STRIKE
Calm your tits folks. This is a ChatGPT generated post. When you add "in the style of a wallstreetoasis.com user" you generate content like this. Copy and paste his post on GPTZero and pretty much this troll gets exposed
"Complain about the conditions of Investment Banking in the style of a wallstreetoasis.com user". Here's what I got:
Pretty much summarized 90% of the topics around here.
Fr😂
'pretty much' - nice
Insane. Soon forum posts could be filled with AI generated posts and comments and us real humans would have no idea… or is this an AI writing this? ;-)
Croikey mate, you’re being a bit of a cheeky wanker shittin where you eat innit? A monkey could do your fookin job of punching numbers into excel and dancing for the MD. Put in your two years, and move on. There will always be another bugger to replace you.
Lol
Bri’ish ‘people’ be like:
Well, it seems our UK analyst friend is feeling a bit miffed about their compensation. Perhaps they should take a leaf out of the US banker's book and start tweeting about their lavish lifestyles and six-figure bonuses. Who needs job satisfaction when you can have Instagram validation, right?
In all seriousness though, investment banking is not for the faint-hearted. It takes a certain type of person to thrive in this cutthroat industry, and the compensation reflects that. So if our UK analyst friend can't handle the heat, perhaps they should consider a career in something a bit more low-key, like flower arranging or stamp collecting.
Of course, I'm just kidding. Investment banking is a challenging and rewarding career path for those who are up for the challenge. And while compensation is important, it's not everything. At the end of the day, job satisfaction and personal fulfillment are just as crucial, even if they don't come with a six-figure bonus.
Bet 200 bucks that this is ChatGPT-generated
Bloody hell!
“Top talent” is already leaving the industry hence the repeated complaints on this site from higher ups. But they don’t want to pay more and instead comfort themselves by trying to generalize an entire generation as being soft or entitled.
work less brotha
Come to America I started in UK banking - the girls will swoon over your accent and you'll make more in IB (the pay is higher)
I don’t understand the math on this, Every time someone makes this argument about making less than minimum wage in IB no one breaks down the math.
Most banks are paying An1’s 110k, let’s say you work 90 hour weeks every single week (not exactly accurate either but let’s rock with this for argument sake) , 1 week vacation a year: that is 4,680 hours a year.
110,000/4,680 ≈ $23.50 an hour , excluding any sign on bonuses or year end bonuses (even though in a normal comp year we know a 40-60% bonus for An1 is feasible)
New York minimum wage is $14.20 per hour, California minimum wage is $15.50 per hour,
Chicago minimum wage is $15 per hour,
Texas minimum wage is $7.25 per hour,
London minimum wage is ≈$9.50 per hour (depending on exchange rate, £8.91 per hour)
Am I missing something?
Also the argument is flawed because everyone knows the pay progression in IB is massive and within 3 years it isn’t unreasonable to see your compensation double.
If you don’t like how it breaks down per hour go get a 9-5 and make 60-70k a year 🤷♂️
Any thoughts on this?
You're missing that this was written by a bot.
Also 1 week vacay a year 😭, Americans are struggling
So your argument is analysts make under $10/hr more than minimum wage excluding bonus? Doesn't seem that compelling to me. This analysis should also really be done on a post-tax basis since the difference will be even less.
Got your point and agree with you, but remember that base salary in London for an1 is on average £70k.
It's written by a bot. But let's assume that it was true, that indeed analysts are paid minimum wage. What people would still miss in that case is the exponential salary growth of IB if they stay for the long term. If you're not passionate about anything in particular but want to be relatively rich to your fellow American, then IB is a good place to do that.
You can't think of yourself in an hourly rate if you ever want to be successful.
But you must think of yourself in an hourly rate once you are successful.
Make sure you know which bucket you're in.
Rather shtupid innit?
This guy watches Industry
lmao
oi cunt
fock off
Dafuq is wrong with these softy mods?
I comment the C-word and my comment got removed.
Not everyone is ultrasensitive with that word like Americans.
Brits and Aussies say it all the time.
What the fuck is up Kyle
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