Who wants a better life? I want to help.

In 2021 I retired from a 37 year career in IB as a group head at a BB firm. My primary motivation for retirement was a desire to have a greater positive impact on people. I loved my job, but I felt it was time to pass the baton and do something different. I have done a lot of mentoring, passing along wisdom (much of which was gained from my own mistakes) to people in high-pressure jobs who are looking to find a more fulfilling and balanced life. I am in the EARLY stages of exploring ways to help more people. As someone who has achieved "success" in the industry, I believe I can bring a different perspective to this topic from HR, psychologists or consultants. I do not have any corporate affiliation, so I can be a balanced, independent voice. I am not looking to be financially compensated. I am thinking of having a biweekly interview with some subject matter expert on a practical topic (driven by recommendations from you). I welcome your feedback on the following questions:

  1. Should I pursue this?
  2. What topics would be of interest?
  3. Live zoom with Q&A or podcast format? If live, what day/time?
  4. Other comments?

I know many people in this industry (from Analyst to MD) who struggle both personally and professionally. Fortunately, I also know people in this industry at all levels who thrive at work and in their personal lives. I have learned a lot on my own professional and personal journey, dealing with the highs and lows of both. I have had preliminary discussions with over twenty potential guests from a wide variety of backgrounds who would bring valuable and practical content.

Thanks in advance for your comments/advice. Your responses will help me determine how best to proceed.

 

Thanks for your questions.  There are many pitfalls if you define success by promotions and compensation.  One of my messages is do not make money your primary motivation.  It never was for me, but I have known many people who have.  As for regrets, there is no changing the past, but there are a lot of things I would have done differently--shorter commute, establishing better boundaries, more meals with my family (that is easier to do in the current post-covid world).  One thing I will not shy away from are my mistakes and the lessons I have learned.  

 

First off, I really admire your desire to mentor those up and coming in this industry.

1.) If you have the spare time, you should 100% pursue this! I would love to glean whatever wisdom I can from people (such as yourself) who know this industry inside and out.

2.) Topics of interest: break down interesting deals you worked on in your early days and the important lessons you learned; bring on your mentors and old MDs for interviews (there is not a lot of media on the Wall Street old guard on the internet); maybe get a co-host who you have good banter with and also has Street experience

3.) I think a podcast is probably ideal to start out, and you can source questions for a Q&A segment on the podcast through a weekly WSO AMA.

4.) Other comments: I am really interested to see where you take this! I’d be more than glad to help you get this off the ground however I can. Keep us posted!

These are just my two cents: let me know what you all think.

 

Thanks for your encouraging words, and I will take you up on your offer.  I would love to get a small group of people (from analyst to MD) to help think through topics and guest speakers.

 
Most Helpful

Quickly found your info and have somewhat personal questions:

Early in your career, you moved to London for a few years. Why/how did this move happen? Looking back, did it benefit/accelerate your career? Would you recommend Americans who are interested in working outside the US to pursue an opportunity overseas? If so, just London, or are there other European cities that would provide the same level of experience and professional growth?

You were able to raise a family while working extreme hours in an extreme profession (head at multiple banks of Leveraged Finance). How did you do it, especially when one hears so many horror stories of banking hours and culture.

I see that your post-retirement career is intertwined with your religious faith. I read up on the New Canaan Society and it sounds like a great idea to positively enhance and improve the lives of male professionals. Not trying to make this an entirely religious discussion, but it seems your desire and drive to help others stems from your Christian faith. How were you able to balance your faith with the responsibilities of being a high level investment banker?

I am debating doing an MBA and pivoting to a career in banking (currently work in strategic finance). I make solid money now, but I don’t have a path to make banking compensation on the same timeline ($300k+ while still in my 20’s). Where do you see the future of banking heading, especially across different verticals and services? How did banking change across your 37 years?

You were there for 2008 and made it through - it’s known that banking compensation has seemingly decreased relative to what it was back in the “glory days”. Do you still see a career in banking as worth the stress? Is the lifestyle worth it? You did pretty well for yourself (awesome house btw). Do you think you could replicate your success if starting out as a young banker today?

Your career was spent at large banks (bulge brackets). What’s your view on the “elite boutiques” that offer more advisory services (Centerview, Evercore, etc)?

I think your mission is great and look forward to seeing what your respond with.

 

tom, great idea. I wouldn't ask permission for starting something that seems to be a passion about it. whether or not you become the next finance/life guru, you will learn about yourself in the process and positively impact >1 life, which is worth the effort alone.

as someone who's been coming to the forums for about a decade, here are the most common questions

  1. how do I get started? particularly of interest is non target recruiting. here you could talk about how you approached this, why to acquire general vs specific knowledge (or vice versa), how to network, and how to crush analyst years
  2. what's next? many IB types think IB>MBA>PE>king of the world is the only way to have professional, financial, and personal fulfillment. comment on this
  3. by my math, you started in the shadows of the S&L crisis. talk about beginning a career during a scary time and your experiences with other crises like LTCM, asian financial crisis, and of course GFC
  4. work life balance? this seems anathema to many people who work 80-100 hour weeks for years on end and have sociopathic MDs & VPs who simply want them to wait at their beck & call to update a stupid powerpoint slide. how to navigate this? what was a typical week for you like in your early 20s, mid/late 20s, early 30s, and so on? there are people like me who never got into IB because of the lack of WLB and there are people that think Jim Donovan (who responds to emails even while he's in bed) is the model for life

in my case, I'm curious about the following

  1. clearly you're financially independent, how did you get there? what was your saving, budgeting, investing strategy? what would you tell your 20-30 year old selves to do more of and to avoid entirely?
  2. what was it like raising a family with increasing responsibilities at work? I'm being deliberately vague here
  3. what do you do in your spare time? did you always have hobbies, did you have to cultivate them while working, or did they take a back seat to work and you're just figuring that out?
  4. talk to me about the low points in your life. people look at someone who was a group head and drool at the prospect of having your business card, so I think being vulnerable and talking about tough times would be helpful. how did you navigate those periods? what did you do well or not so well?
  5. I see you're a man of faith - how do you maintain this with the knowledge that a large quantity of people in finance are value-less hedonistic men? speaking for some of the young men I've mentored, even ones that are secular but still have good values find a cognitive dissonance today with readily available pornography, one night stands (dating apps) and the algorithms of TikTok and instagram that essentially incentivize scrolling softcore porn all day long

zoom v podcast - I would say podcast personally. if you do live I'd just ask that it's recorded and available in podcast format

 

Thanks for your response.  Here are some brief answers to your questions:

1.  Maintain a modest lifestyle--unfortunately I did not prioritize spending a lot of time on investments (I should have hired someone to focus on that aspect).

2.  Made lots of mistakes raising a family.  First marriage blew up after twenty years (I have been married for 17 years, and have learned from my mistakes.  I was clueless on many things at home, as I gained expertise in my career.  I have a great relationship with my kids (and my ex-wife)--this will be a topic that deserves a lot of attention.  One way to be productive at work is to have a healthy home life.  

3.  Banking is a cyclical business, which is why you have to save/invest as much money as you can.  There is great personal opportunity in crisis.  One thing I loved about the industry/job is that there are always learning opportunities.  Markets change, circumstances change, people change.  Learn from every situation.  

4.  80-100 hours per week, every week, is unsustainable.  In this industry it is difficult to manage the micro (the work required to get a deal done), but I have found that you have to manage the macro.  This is a job that I could have done every waking moment of every day--that is not a fulfilling life.  As a boss, I never penalized anyone because they "only" worked 60 hours per week.  

5.  I take exception to your generalization and characterization of the people in the industry.  Most of the people I worked with I respected and trusted.  There was the occasional exception.  

 

Hi Tom,

Please do, I think this community & beyond would really benefit from hearing your experiences during your successful career in banking, your struggles and I did you overcome them.

5 q’s from my end:

  1. Did you ever struggle with mental health wellbeing / anxiety / depression / other issues because of your career? What did you do to keep a strong mindset when you wanted to give up and to have a balanced life?
  1. What, in your view, is the secret to thrive in this industry rather than just survive? Most of the community goes through this process:

Path to break in >> get an IBD or similar role >> after some time hates the IBD role, hierarchy and hours ->> 3 paths: MBA, buy-side, something pretty different i.e. business development at corporate

  • MBA goes back to IBD / buy-side / similar
  • Buy-side contributes less to WSO so guessing they are in general happier
  • Business development hates the slow pace of the corporate and works their way back to any of the above

However, nobody's dream seem to be in IBD for life.

  1. Do you have an opinion on why is the culture "designed" for this high level of rotation? How have things improved from a work-life balance perspective since you started your career, and did you ever have some degree of work-life balance?
  1. What are key skills (soft and hard), personality traits, communication strategies, knowledge… to focus on developing continuously for a successful career in banking? What is the definition of the perfect VP and how to be "special"?
  1. What is the greatest compromise you had to make for your career, and what was (or is) the greatest reward.
 

1.  This is a high pressure career, for sure, and not for everybody.  I like to compete, and I liked to deliver for clients.  I never struggled with the extreme definition of mental health, but there were many times that I was nervous, anxious, fearful and bummed out in the heat of a deal.  I have given a lot of talks on mental health, and we will have psychologists/psychiatrists on to talk about how to deal with these things.  Similar to physical health, there are degrees of "illness".  I will focus on the things that everyone can control day to day.  For example, what do you feed your mind every day?  Another guest will focus on social media impact on self-esteem the brain.  These are just ideas.  I am not on social media (this was my first post of any kind)--if I move forward that will need to change......I never found that the benefits outweighed the cost (primarily time).

2.  There are two seasons in this industry.  The first 5-7 years is learn and survive, the following years is about relationships and revenue generation.  These require different skillsets for each season.  If you are trustworthy, knowledgeable and interesting, people will want to hang out with you--this is the fun part of the job.  The more CEO's you spend time with, the more information you get about what is happening in the industry, and the more valuable you become.  

3.  Throughout my career, my motivation changed and my hours improved.  I had an unhealthy motivation that I would characterize as fear of failure, as I was the responsible to provide for a family of five at the age of 29 (my wife did not work)--I could not afford to fail.  Building a financial cushion eased the stress.  Becoming an MD gave me more control over my schedule.  With time, I got better at choosing how to spend my time.

4.  The perfect VP is one that can act like a Director.  Someone who can manage the associate and analyst on projects, and build a relationship with his/her counterpart at the client.  Definitely need to be able to run execution from start to finish, and know when to ask for help.

5.  Biggest compromise was time at home.  

 

This guy is a total badass. Made $20 fucking million dollars in 2008. That’s like what some entrepreneurs take home when they exit their company that they poured their life into. Dude made it in one year, 15 years ago.

Sick

 

The following are answers to most of your good questions....

You stand out by building client relationships and generate revenues.  The first twelve years of your career are pretty well mapped out with respect to promotion timing. With everything you do well you are building personal brand equity, which will lead to increased responsibilities.  Most people view that as a positive, some view it as being underpaid for the contribution they are making.  Another way to stand out is to have a positive attitude, and not complain.  Don't be afraid to point out things that could be improved, but also make sure you have a proposed solution on how to improve it.

In my experience, I have never seen a woman negatively impacted by taking maternity leave.  We are not a commission business, so while production at work may decrease in the year of maternity leave (not always), that does not factor into promotion or pay discussions.

Try not to put yourself in a position where one person is your sole advocate.  You want to have a broad base of support.  Throughout my career I have had many different bosses, some of which left the firm.  Times of transition and rebuilding reputation can be challenging.  Let your performance speak for itself.

I miss many aspects of banking--it is a great career.  I have no clue what I would have done if I was not in banking.

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