Who wants a better life? I want to help.

In 2021 I retired from a 37 year career in IB as a group head at a BB firm. My primary motivation for retirement was a desire to have a greater positive impact on people. I loved my job, but I felt it was time to pass the baton and do something different. I have done a lot of mentoring, passing along wisdom (much of which was gained from my own mistakes) to people in high-pressure jobs who are looking to find a more fulfilling and balanced life. I am in the EARLY stages of exploring ways to help more people. As someone who has achieved "success" in the industry, I believe I can bring a different perspective to this topic from HR, psychologists or consultants. I do not have any corporate affiliation, so I can be a balanced, independent voice. I am not looking to be financially compensated. I am thinking of having a biweekly interview with some subject matter expert on a practical topic (driven by recommendations from you). I welcome your feedback on the following questions:

  1. Should I pursue this?
  2. What topics would be of interest?
  3. Live zoom with Q&A or podcast format? If live, what day/time?
  4. Other comments?

I know many people in this industry (from Analyst to MD) who struggle both personally and professionally. Fortunately, I also know people in this industry at all levels who thrive at work and in their personal lives. I have learned a lot on my own professional and personal journey, dealing with the highs and lows of both. I have had preliminary discussions with over twenty potential guests from a wide variety of backgrounds who would bring valuable and practical content.

Thanks in advance for your comments/advice. Your responses will help me determine how best to proceed.

 

Seeing you have had great success in your career, what do you think are some pitfalls of chasing the ladder of success? Any regrets or things you would have done differently?

 

Thanks for your questions.  There are many pitfalls if you define success by promotions and compensation.  One of my messages is do not make money your primary motivation.  It never was for me, but I have known many people who have.  As for regrets, there is no changing the past, but there are a lot of things I would have done differently--shorter commute, establishing better boundaries, more meals with my family (that is easier to do in the current post-covid world).  One thing I will not shy away from are my mistakes and the lessons I have learned.  

 

First off, I really admire your desire to mentor those up and coming in this industry.

1.) If you have the spare time, you should 100% pursue this! I would love to glean whatever wisdom I can from people (such as yourself) who know this industry inside and out.

2.) Topics of interest: break down interesting deals you worked on in your early days and the important lessons you learned; bring on your mentors and old MDs for interviews (there is not a lot of media on the Wall Street old guard on the internet); maybe get a co-host who you have good banter with and also has Street experience

3.) I think a podcast is probably ideal to start out, and you can source questions for a Q&A segment on the podcast through a weekly WSO AMA.

4.) Other comments: I am really interested to see where you take this! I’d be more than glad to help you get this off the ground however I can. Keep us posted!

These are just my two cents: let me know what you all think.

 
Most Helpful

Quickly found your info and have somewhat personal questions:

Early in your career, you moved to London for a few years. Why/how did this move happen? Looking back, did it benefit/accelerate your career? Would you recommend Americans who are interested in working outside the US to pursue an opportunity overseas? If so, just London, or are there other European cities that would provide the same level of experience and professional growth?

You were able to raise a family while working extreme hours in an extreme profession (head at multiple banks of Leveraged Finance). How did you do it, especially when one hears so many horror stories of banking hours and culture.

I see that your post-retirement career is intertwined with your religious faith. I read up on the New Canaan Society and it sounds like a great idea to positively enhance and improve the lives of male professionals. Not trying to make this an entirely religious discussion, but it seems your desire and drive to help others stems from your Christian faith. How were you able to balance your faith with the responsibilities of being a high level investment banker?

I am debating doing an MBA and pivoting to a career in banking (currently work in strategic finance). I make solid money now, but I don’t have a path to make banking compensation on the same timeline ($300k+ while still in my 20’s). Where do you see the future of banking heading, especially across different verticals and services? How did banking change across your 37 years?

You were there for 2008 and made it through - it’s known that banking compensation has seemingly decreased relative to what it was back in the “glory days”. Do you still see a career in banking as worth the stress? Is the lifestyle worth it? You did pretty well for yourself (awesome house btw). Do you think you could replicate your success if starting out as a young banker today?

Your career was spent at large banks (bulge brackets). What’s your view on the “elite boutiques” that offer more advisory services (Centerview, Evercore, etc)?

I think your mission is great and look forward to seeing what your respond with.

 

Very helpful! Would especially like to hear you opine on raising a family and keeping the balance between the two. Major struggle for myself, and many of us on here who are down that path. 

 

This is an excellent, and something that I could have done much better.  I will give you one tidbit, but this question requires a much more detailed answer (and would be a session if I do a podcast).  In the people I mentor, I ask them to fill out a hypothetical schedule for the typical week with their partner.  I ask them to allocate 168 hours, and I ask them to try to allocate at least 50 hours of sleep.  I tell them to budget at least one date night per week with their spouse that is just the two of them, and one with their spouse and other people.  I ask them to budget family time, including a target for the number of meals the family will eat together (it might be easier to family dinners Friday, Saturday, Sunday and one random night during the week, and have date nights be at 8:00 on work nights.  The entire point of this dialog is to have a plan that you and your partner agree on that becomes a target to try to achieve, including hours worked, exercise, commute, entertainment, time with friends, etc.  

Given the unpredictability of deal flow and client demands, you need to overlay this schedule with flexibility (easier for some personality types than others).  The goal is not to hit the targeted time allocations each week, but to at least review each week with the goal of getting back on track after a crazy busy week of work.  One great attribute of working in this industry is that slow times are pretty predictable (two weeks in August, two weeks in Dec/Jan, long holiday weekends like Memorial Day, July 4, Labor Day, Thanksgiving)--use these times to be all about family.  I said it before, you usually have little control of the micro schedule (what needs to get done in the next couple of days) but you can control the macro (how much I actually work in a given month).  

Hope this helps.

 

I would join live zooms - seems good, I have been trying to find mentors for a long time. I'll keep up to date about whatever you decide or post on this forum. Thanks 

 

tom, great idea. I wouldn't ask permission for starting something that seems to be a passion about it. whether or not you become the next finance/life guru, you will learn about yourself in the process and positively impact >1 life, which is worth the effort alone.

as someone who's been coming to the forums for about a decade, here are the most common questions

  1. how do I get started? particularly of interest is non target recruiting. here you could talk about how you approached this, why to acquire general vs specific knowledge (or vice versa), how to network, and how to crush analyst years
  2. what's next? many IB types think IB>MBA>PE>king of the world is the only way to have professional, financial, and personal fulfillment. comment on this
  3. by my math, you started in the shadows of the S&L crisis. talk about beginning a career during a scary time and your experiences with other crises like LTCM, asian financial crisis, and of course GFC
  4. work life balance? this seems anathema to many people who work 80-100 hour weeks for years on end and have sociopathic MDs & VPs who simply want them to wait at their beck & call to update a stupid powerpoint slide. how to navigate this? what was a typical week for you like in your early 20s, mid/late 20s, early 30s, and so on? there are people like me who never got into IB because of the lack of WLB and there are people that think Jim Donovan (who responds to emails even while he's in bed) is the model for life

in my case, I'm curious about the following

  1. clearly you're financially independent, how did you get there? what was your saving, budgeting, investing strategy? what would you tell your 20-30 year old selves to do more of and to avoid entirely?
  2. what was it like raising a family with increasing responsibilities at work? I'm being deliberately vague here
  3. what do you do in your spare time? did you always have hobbies, did you have to cultivate them while working, or did they take a back seat to work and you're just figuring that out?
  4. talk to me about the low points in your life. people look at someone who was a group head and drool at the prospect of having your business card, so I think being vulnerable and talking about tough times would be helpful. how did you navigate those periods? what did you do well or not so well?
  5. I see you're a man of faith - how do you maintain this with the knowledge that a large quantity of people in finance are value-less hedonistic men? speaking for some of the young men I've mentored, even ones that are secular but still have good values find a cognitive dissonance today with readily available pornography, one night stands (dating apps) and the algorithms of TikTok and instagram that essentially incentivize scrolling softcore porn all day long

zoom v podcast - I would say podcast personally. if you do live I'd just ask that it's recorded and available in podcast format

 

Thanks for your response.  Here are some brief answers to your questions:

1.  Maintain a modest lifestyle--unfortunately I did not prioritize spending a lot of time on investments (I should have hired someone to focus on that aspect).

2.  Made lots of mistakes raising a family.  First marriage blew up after twenty years (I have been married for 17 years, and have learned from my mistakes.  I was clueless on many things at home, as I gained expertise in my career.  I have a great relationship with my kids (and my ex-wife)--this will be a topic that deserves a lot of attention.  One way to be productive at work is to have a healthy home life.  

3.  Banking is a cyclical business, which is why you have to save/invest as much money as you can.  There is great personal opportunity in crisis.  One thing I loved about the industry/job is that there are always learning opportunities.  Markets change, circumstances change, people change.  Learn from every situation.  

4.  80-100 hours per week, every week, is unsustainable.  In this industry it is difficult to manage the micro (the work required to get a deal done), but I have found that you have to manage the macro.  This is a job that I could have done every waking moment of every day--that is not a fulfilling life.  As a boss, I never penalized anyone because they "only" worked 60 hours per week.  

5.  I take exception to your generalization and characterization of the people in the industry.  Most of the people I worked with I respected and trusted.  There was the occasional exception.  

 

Hi Tom,

Please do, I think this community & beyond would really benefit from hearing your experiences during your successful career in banking, your struggles and I did you overcome them.

5 q’s from my end:

  1. Did you ever struggle with mental health wellbeing / anxiety / depression / other issues because of your career? What did you do to keep a strong mindset when you wanted to give up and to have a balanced life?
  1. What, in your view, is the secret to thrive in this industry rather than just survive? Most of the community goes through this process:

Path to break in >> get an IBD or similar role >> after some time hates the IBD role, hierarchy and hours ->> 3 paths: MBA, buy-side, something pretty different i.e. business development at corporate

  • MBA goes back to IBD / buy-side / similar
  • Buy-side contributes less to WSO so guessing they are in general happier
  • Business development hates the slow pace of the corporate and works their way back to any of the above

However, nobody's dream seem to be in IBD for life.

  1. Do you have an opinion on why is the culture "designed" for this high level of rotation? How have things improved from a work-life balance perspective since you started your career, and did you ever have some degree of work-life balance?
  1. What are key skills (soft and hard), personality traits, communication strategies, knowledge… to focus on developing continuously for a successful career in banking? What is the definition of the perfect VP and how to be "special"?
  1. What is the greatest compromise you had to make for your career, and what was (or is) the greatest reward.
 

1.  This is a high pressure career, for sure, and not for everybody.  I like to compete, and I liked to deliver for clients.  I never struggled with the extreme definition of mental health, but there were many times that I was nervous, anxious, fearful and bummed out in the heat of a deal.  I have given a lot of talks on mental health, and we will have psychologists/psychiatrists on to talk about how to deal with these things.  Similar to physical health, there are degrees of "illness".  I will focus on the things that everyone can control day to day.  For example, what do you feed your mind every day?  Another guest will focus on social media impact on self-esteem the brain.  These are just ideas.  I am not on social media (this was my first post of any kind)--if I move forward that will need to change......I never found that the benefits outweighed the cost (primarily time).

2.  There are two seasons in this industry.  The first 5-7 years is learn and survive, the following years is about relationships and revenue generation.  These require different skillsets for each season.  If you are trustworthy, knowledgeable and interesting, people will want to hang out with you--this is the fun part of the job.  The more CEO's you spend time with, the more information you get about what is happening in the industry, and the more valuable you become.  

3.  Throughout my career, my motivation changed and my hours improved.  I had an unhealthy motivation that I would characterize as fear of failure, as I was the responsible to provide for a family of five at the age of 29 (my wife did not work)--I could not afford to fail.  Building a financial cushion eased the stress.  Becoming an MD gave me more control over my schedule.  With time, I got better at choosing how to spend my time.

4.  The perfect VP is one that can act like a Director.  Someone who can manage the associate and analyst on projects, and build a relationship with his/her counterpart at the client.  Definitely need to be able to run execution from start to finish, and know when to ask for help.

5.  Biggest compromise was time at home.  

 

Hi Tom,

Please do, I think this community & beyond would really benefit from hearing your experiences during your successful career in banking, your struggles and I did you overcome them.

5 q’s from my end:

  1. Did you ever struggle with mental health wellbeing / anxiety / depression / other issues because of your career? What did you do to keep a strong mindset when you wanted to give up and to have a balanced life?
  1. What, in your view, is the secret to thrive in this industry rather than just survive? Most of the community goes through this process:

Path to break in >> get an IBD or similar role >> after some time hates the IBD role, hierarchy and hours ->> 3 paths: MBA, buy-side, something pretty different i.e. business development at corporate

  • MBA goes back to IBD / buy-side / similar
  • Buy-side contributes less to WSO so guessing they are in general happier
  • Business development hates the slow pace of the corporate and works their way back to any of the above

However, nobody's dream seem to be in IBD for life.

  1. Do you have an opinion on why is the culture "designed" for this high level of rotation? How have things improved from a work-life balance perspective since you started your career, and did you ever have some degree of work-life balance?
  1. What are key skills (soft and hard), personality traits, communication strategies, knowledge… to focus on developing continuously for a successful career in banking? What is the definition of the perfect VP and how to be "special"?
  1. What is the greatest compromise you had to make for your career, and what was (or is) the greatest reward.
 

As a man of faith yourself, how do you justify the morality of banking?

It's one that I'm coming to terms with after my internship.

Thanks in advance Mr. Cole.

 

This is a noble profession (some may disagree).  We are doing two main things:  1)providing expertise and advice to people for a fee, 2)we are connecting people who need capital with people who have capital to invest.  The industry has come a long way with transparency and ethics, and I am proud to have been a part of it.  Greed is a motivator for some clients and bankers, but it was never my motivation, and I would advise everyone that it should not be their motivation.

 

This guy is a total badass. Made $20 fucking million dollars in 2008. That’s like what some entrepreneurs take home when they exit their company that they poured their life into. Dude made it in one year, 15 years ago.

Sick

 

I wouldn't make online content before trying a few things in person too;

  • Consider getting a partner. Doing this on your own may get repetitive/dull. If you have a friend or colleague who wants to participate you can make your project more conversational and it should help to reduce pressure on you as well.
  • If you want some inspiration while you decide your strategy perhaps you should visit the finance club of some universities as a guest speaker, before you commit to how you want to execute your mentoring you can survey their reactions. Once you have an idea of how the students react in real time you can consider what elements you enjoy and the time you are willing to invest for whatever you decide to do; online v. in-person etc...
  • Reach out to the university career center of a few schools and make your pitch to host a zoom chat as a guest speaker discussing the industry. Many universities these days use an app platform called Handshake for students to apply to events and jobs so you'll be able to reach students easily. You won't need to spend time on self promotion or organizing your event.
  • If you want to move further up/down the recruitment funnel consider groups (Chartered Financial Analyst Institute, Chartered Alternative Investment Analyst Association), organizations (Sponsors for Educational Opportunity, Management Leaders for Tomorrow), non-profits (American Cancer Society) etc... Many organizations are always looking for guest speakers and you can choose the audience you want to target.
  • I would also recommend you record yourself during any presentations so you can see how you look on stage and determine whether you want to do prerecorded videos/shorts to support your content.
  • WallStreetOasis has a podcast and uploads youtube recordings too. You can also become a mentor through the site itself. I would reach out to Patrick the founder of the site to learn more.
 

Thanks for your constructive comments and suggestions.  I would have a partner on each episode--it will not be a monologue.  We will keep each podcast relevant and different.  I have done talks at colleges about the industry, the business, and work/life balance.  The feedback I have received is the reason I am contemplating this.

 
tom.cole

Thanks for your constructive comments and suggestions.  I would have a partner on each episode--it will not be a monologue.  We will keep each podcast relevant and different.  I have done talks at colleges about the industry, the business, and work/life balance.  The feedback I have received is the reason I am contemplating this.

hey Tom, would love to feature you on a pod and have you as one of our 1k awesome mentors :-) ...  we recently changed the platform so that you can set your rates (even super low if you prefer that).  can you send me a message to connect?  WallStreetOasis.com>[email protected]  (this week I'm traveling a lot so may be tough to connect but next week much better)

Talk soon!

Patrick

 
  1. Yes
  1. How you steadily built a life in the limited time you had not working.
  1. Either could be cool. I think some topics would be better suited for podcasts and others for interviews.
  1. Thank you!

I would be totally interested in this, and I’d like to hear any insight you have. I’m just a college student trying to get in rn, and I really enjoy hearing other people’s stories. One of my favorite YouTube lectures is “Building a Life” by Howard Stevenson, so hearing your advice and experience would be awesome!

 
  • Yes you should.
  • I think a mix of your career story as a young man, how you were able to rise to a group head level, how big a factor luck plays in rising, interesting stories about or co-workers (keep it all anonymous about others), and your view on current financial events (for example, your opinion on why SVB failed) would be cool topics.
  • I think podcasts work best, especially since you're new to this. People are busy and podcasts they can listen to whenever they want is best in my opinion. If you really want video, maybe upload your podcasts with video to YouTube after you record them.
 

What a generous offer Tom. Lots has been made and are asked about younger levels on this website. As a more tenured banker, I'd like to know a few tips to help bankers as they grow, have families and end up with many competing elements of life.

1) What advice do you have for IB professionals that are trying to balance becoming MD and developing a brand/reputation/book with being available and present for their families, particularly younger kids?

2) Are there any good tips for continuing to build a strong relationship with your spouse? With the little available time outside of work, I've often felt myself prioritizing my kids, but I'm hoping to buck the trend and have a marriage with longevity.

3) Did you do anything different, unique or novel around business development (perhaps less important when you were in a product vs. coverage group)?

4) Do you have any thoughts on how to find time to enjoy some of the place you got to travel to for work to make it more meaningful?

 

Thanks for your questions.

1.  I made a lot of mistakes on this--I was 29 with three kids!!  This will be a topic that we will tackle.  Given the unpredictability of the business, you need a flexible partner (or other support) to allow you to adequately serve your client in the heat of a deal.  You also need to know when to set boundaries and reinvest time with family after an intense period at the office.  This isn't easy, but it is doable with intentionality.

2.  Yes--at least one night out per week just the two of you, and another night with other couples.  

3.  Nope--it is all about delivering excellence to the client, building relationships and trust, and managing expectations (transparency).

4.  Occasionally on international trips.  Always tried to connect with friends if they were in the city I was traveling to.  Friendship will be another big topic I discuss (real friendships, not superficial, like many people have).  I think friendship is one of the most misunderstood concepts in the world today.  We all need people in our lives to speak truth to us and encourage us.

 
tom.cole

Thanks for your questions.

1.  I made a lot of mistakes on this--I was 29 with three kids!!  This will be a topic that we will tackle.  Given the unpredictability of the business, you need a flexible partner (or other support) to allow you to adequately serve your client in the heat of a deal.  You also need to know when to set boundaries and reinvest time with family after an intense period at the office.  This isn't easy, but it is doable with intentionality.

2.  Yes--at least one night out per week just the two of you, and another night with other couples.  

3.  Nope--it is all about delivering excellence to the client, building relationships and trust, and managing expectations (transparency).

4.  Occasionally on international trips.  Always tried to connect with friends if they were in the city I was traveling to.  Friendship will be another big topic I discuss (real friendships, not superficial, like many people have).  I think friendship is one of the most misunderstood concepts in the world today.  We all need people in our lives to speak truth to us and encourage us.

Excellent, would definitely be eager to hear your perspectives.

 

First of all, thank you for wanting to give back to the younger generation.As a recent graduate looking to pursue a career in IB, I would be very grateful to take advice based on your experience and industry/personal knowledge. Any guidance would be very helpful during this time, as I find myself in a bit of a difficult situation (as many of us do in different ways at the beginning stages of any career) regarding choosing the best decisions for myself.I know time and age is especially a concern in this field and the last thing I want, or need, is to waste any time or effort pursuing a role in which doesn't help me pursue a desirable career in IB.Thanks again. I hope to hear back from you at your convenience, as I'm eager to get started with my career immediately.

 

Always thankful for people like you who are trying to bring positive impacts to others without asking for tangible returns.

I am probably gonna get a lot of MS from this but just being sincere with my humble honesty:

1. You should think about whether your goal is to be a speaker / life coach / actual mentor. I feel like if you are actually looking to be a mentor there should be a lot more focus on 1-to-1 candid interactions instead of doing interviews and what not, if people want to understand how to be a baller in finance / banking there's a lot of books / interviews made available already.

2. Can you be candid and honest in sharing your own learnings and experience while also balancing the reality in 2023 vs when you were in the industry? The way I see it and having talked to a number of seniors, the issue is they always give "politically correct" answers, for example, is banking still the best / optimal choice of career for fresh grads these days? Probably not right but no banking seniors will ever admit that because they themselves have invested too much into the industry and have too much skins in the game to ever admit that it is a declining industry. Or the fact that some MD made 10 / 20 mil 15 years ago is really irrelevant to young professionals these days because it will never happen to them.

3. You probably need to identify whether you want to mentor young professional vs prospects / students. No matter how slim of a hope it is, students will always try to see if they can leverage your network by just asking you the typical and boring questions and kissing up to you which is not the best use of your time I would think. (as demonstrated here by the same set of questions being asked 1000 times)

4. If you could answer candidly, would be very interesting to hear from you:

- What's your view on the current banking industry and young professionals who are making much less of what the same professionals were making 20-30 years ago (inflation adjusted)

- Objectively speaking, banking sucks no matter how you spin it, so what was the biggest factor that kept you in? 

- If it was financial / money which is the case for many people, how do you wrap your head around knowing that banking doesn't give anywhere near the most potential earning once can make within the finance industry

- What's your view on your previous peers / senior management in banking that are so reluctant to adopt and face changes and hence making banking a super old industry which naturally has a lot of mismatch to the skillsets and habits that new generations have been raised with. For example, reluctant to adopt remote working, banks (at least advisory) rarely uses latest technology 3rd software, automation solutions on day-to-day tasks. 

 

Thanks for your input and questions.  Here are some brief answers:

1.  My goal is simple--I want to get great, practical content into the hands of anyone that has a demanding career, which will help them to thrive in their relationships and their profession.  Most of that content will come from people's personal stories, and some will come from my personal experiences (including vulnerability and transparency around failures, challenges, struggles in both areas of my life).  Separately, I mentor a few people who are in senior positions within their firms.  I am not looking to take on more mentees.  I am not looking to help people be a baller in finance/banking, but a baller in life (and if they do that, they will be a better banker).

2.  Everyone is different with many strengths and weaknesses, and banking is not for everyone.  Many of the wrong people are attracted to the industry for the wrong reasons.  I was in the business because I loved the work and the people I worked with.  Financial reward should never be a primary motivation.

3.  I have no interest in making this about how to get a job in IB.  Ideally, the content should be as relevant to MD's as it will be for analysts.  

4a.  You may be frustrated with the answer, but as I have said, don't make money your primary motivator.  I think people in this industry get paid well relative to many other industries.  Each individual needs to ask the question if it is enough given the demands of the job.  I think it is a great industry and a great job if you work for people who care about you and treat you with dignity.  

4b.  Banking sucks for some, and is great for others.  I loved it because it was intellectually stimulating, it required the use of a wide variety of skills (communication, analytical, leadership, judgment, negotiations, strategy, sales, etc), it introduced me to interesting people, and it was a valuable service provided.  It certainly wasn't all utopia.  I disliked having little control over my schedule and dealing with the few people with purely selfish motivations that treated me and others poorly.

4c.  I've already commented on money.  I would tell people that if they feel like they are being under-compensated, leave.  Go to a different firm or industry.  

4d.  I'll comment on recruiting.  There is a general impression that banking used to attract the best and the brightest, and that it no longer does (for a variety of reasons).  The industry would recruit at a small list top schools, and it was hard to break in if you were outside of that club.  I got lucky, and got in through the back door.  I was actively involved in recruiting, and I would ask the question, "would we get better people if we worked them less?"  That would only work if they were paid less.  Every industry is getting disrupted in some way--banking is no exception. 

A large component of the business is people-related, as clients want advice and judgment that is trustworthy.  There is certainly room to use technology better to have a more efficient business model.  I will say I am not a fan of remote working--this is an apprentice business and the learning and idea generation is better done together.  One of the things I believe is a huge problem in our culture is isolation and loneliness.  This will be a topic that I will discuss.  Many people have no close friends, and relationships in general are getting more superficial.  Having said that, I like the increased flexibility around work schedule.  Back in the day, lots of people focused on face time in the office, which I never advocated.  I love that the doors are open (at some firms) for people to leavee the office at a time where they can get home and have dinner with their family, and then bank out four hours of work at home.  

 

Sounds cliche, but maybe start a podcast focused on IB, surprisingly can’t think of any that are good

 

Why don't BB banks maintain sustainable hours instead of churning analysts? It seems costly and unproductive.  Top target grads are shunning IB, while MDs complain about lower-quality analyst hires.

Super targets are heading to EBs, and it's clear EBs are winning deals.

 

1. Yes, but its ultimately your call

2. Can be anything really - mistakes, mentality, lifestyle, advice, stories, outlook; whatever you're comfortable sharing

3. Well I can see from both sides, live zoom chat can be turned into "podcast", but in general podcast does not have that same interaction. Depending on the audience, live q&a can attract a lot of googlable questions ("how do I break into IB?"), not a good use of anyone's time. With a great guest on a podcast, its overall more organized/structured, could generate some intellectual conversations, but may not cater to all audiences. (I find Patrick's podcast is quite interesting)

4. Not sure how much you want to dedicate to this but I believe growing a social media presence would definitely help with maximizing impact (if it haven't been considered yet). Instinct tells me to follow you on whatever social media account you have going on (if you have any), I'm sure there's going to be a lot of wisdom coming from you.

 

Thanks for offering up your expertise and knowledge to all of  us! 

As a mid level banker, how did you stand out?  I sometimes feel like it doesn't matter how hard I try or what my clients say to my bosses, at a large bank you just need to wait for your name to be called to get promoted. 

As a manger, what advice would you give to a woman who is expanding their family but doesn't want to fall behind the curve / be treated differently vs. her male peers? Maternity leave is very hard to navigate. Would love to hear from multiple men about this topic and have them be brutally honest. 

A person who has been instrumental in my career / promotions / bonus conversations is retiring. I'm concerned this will have a negative impact on me personally. Did you have this happen in your career? I assume so. Did it impact you negatively? 

Do you miss banking?  What other career would you have chosen if not banker?

 

The following are answers to most of your good questions....

You stand out by building client relationships and generate revenues.  The first twelve years of your career are pretty well mapped out with respect to promotion timing. With everything you do well you are building personal brand equity, which will lead to increased responsibilities.  Most people view that as a positive, some view it as being underpaid for the contribution they are making.  Another way to stand out is to have a positive attitude, and not complain.  Don't be afraid to point out things that could be improved, but also make sure you have a proposed solution on how to improve it.

In my experience, I have never seen a woman negatively impacted by taking maternity leave.  We are not a commission business, so while production at work may decrease in the year of maternity leave (not always), that does not factor into promotion or pay discussions.

Try not to put yourself in a position where one person is your sole advocate.  You want to have a broad base of support.  Throughout my career I have had many different bosses, some of which left the firm.  Times of transition and rebuilding reputation can be challenging.  Let your performance speak for itself.

I miss many aspects of banking--it is a great career.  I have no clue what I would have done if I was not in banking.

 

Thanks for this. My questions are as follows:

1. At what point in your career did you realize you wanted to be a career banker? Given the high employee churn, were there times that you thought about leaving? Assuming so, what made you stay (i.e. defined promotion path, salary was attractive)?

2. You mention fear of failure as an unhealthy motivator and being responsible for a family. I would love for you to expand on that as it seems that you wanted to be able to provide for your family, in a financial capacity. With cost of living increasing at an alarming rate, I find myself struggling to see how one can afford to live comfortably down the line. I made a career switch to Real Estate and took a significant decrease in compensation and future compensation, so the fear of failure for me at the moment is compensation and how I could ever be responsible for providing for family members down the line. 

Thansk!

 

1.  This may sound crazy, but I did not ever try to plan my career.  Rather, I tried to do a good job in the seat I was in, and since I enjoyed what I was doing (and the people I worked with), I did not proactively look for other jobs.  Having said that, I paid attention to doors that were opening at competitors and at the buyside (and early on, a couple corporate opportunities).  I would annually review the previous year and ask myself if there were any changes I needed to take in the upcoming year to improve things.  This applied to my personal life and my career.  I really took things one year at a time, never thinking five or ten years out.

2.  I have seen a family live on $125,000 per year, and I have seen people who make $600,000 per year run out of money.  This is a reminder that that there are inflows and outflows, and if you can maintain a modest lifestyle, there will be less pressure on you to be so focused on the income.

 

Thank you for spending your time trying to assist others pursing this field! I have a BS in finance and currently working on a MBA. I’m so passionate about this field and I have been trying desperately to find an avenue into IB. My main problems have been I can’t feasibly get into an internship as I work 60+hours a week in my job while I work towards my masters. I am the sole breadwinner in my family so making that leap is difficult. I have been searching for a mentor, or someone to guide me in the Houston area so I can make the appropriate steps to land a entry level position. Is there any mentorship programs or someone who could help guide me?

Thank you so much for your help, I have enjoyed reading your responses to everyone’s questions.

 

Appreciate you giving back to the community and focusing on a topic that lacks coverage. 
 

Question for you, as someone who has been at the top. I was due for a comp increase (which I got) but handled the negotiation poorly and came off too greedy. My MD lectured me that what I had done left a bad taste and said I should be focusing on building relationships at my career stage rather than money. I have 4 yrs of industry experience and 1.5 with my firm. 
 

I generally agree with his message now. However, I get the sense things are different now. I’m still getting opportunities and learning at my firm but have less visibility into strategy than before. 

My questions are:

1. What would you advise to repair the relationship?

2. From a MD’s perspective would they even care that much?

3. Is it worthwhile sticking it out or starting over fresh at a new firm?

 

1.  Apologize to the MD for the way you reacted, and reiterate that it will never happen again.  Tell him/her that you want to rebuild trust, and learn from this to become better, and ask if there are tangible ways you can do this.

2.  I can speak for myself, I loved when people heard my advice and took action to improve.  It showed they cared.  A good attitude goes a long way.

3.  I would not consider a move unless you really believe that you have completely lost internal support.  Keep your head down and go out of your way to deliver excellence.

 

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