Accepted my offer, now what
Accepted my SA offer at a BB coming from a non-target. Worked at real estate banking prior, but I know that IB is a different ball game. How can I mentally prep (classes, knowledge, excel, etc..) and physically (network, clothing, style, etc..) to put myself in the best position to ball out this summer. Hardo advice encouraged!!!
First things first you need to post the mandatory LinkedIn announcement explaining how excited you are for this opportunity. 1000 words minimum. Now it's time to revamp your daily routine. Wake up at 5:30am and make your way to your country club to shoot the shit with your fellow buldge bracket summer analysts. No less than 20 jokes about how back office all of Nomura is. Spend the rest of your morning flirting with the foreign exchange scammers in your favorite finance meme pages comment section. Shout out to Litquidity. I would then recommend spending no less than 3 hours practicing advanced Excel shortcuts. ctrl C + crtl V is my personal favorite. Now that you have already secured your offer, your classes can take a backseat. I would start hitting the links at least 4 times a week. In terms of physically preparing you have two options. Option 1 is to grow out the signature lettuce haircut. 4 to to 6 inches long and make sure to buzz the sides. Option 2 is to consume 12 - 36 busch lights a day. the goal here is to develop a dad bod so extreme that your beer belly will intimidate your MD at first glance, and your dominance at the desk will be asserted. If you take off your fleece patagonia vest once your offer might get rescinded so i recommend you just leave that on at all times. Good luck king.
This was all I ever imagined, thank you
jack off less and get laid
Do the opposite of what I did: Get more sleep, exercise more, eat cleaner, sleep with higher calibre women.
PE recruiting already started man, you're falling behind. Get on that LBO grind and try to snag a Summer 2025 LMM Associate gig before it's too late
No shot dude. I heard from my cousin's doctor's nephew's roommate's mom that her unborn baby has already starting recruiting for Summer 2040
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