This idea was discussed within a comment thread a couple month ago but I thought it deserved its own thread just because of how awesome it is.
I wanted to share with you guys a tip that is virtually guaranteed to improve your interviews.
Here's what you do: 1. Arrive at interview location about 15 minutes early 2. Greet the receptionist, hang up coat, etc. 3. Ask to use the men's room 4. Take a shit
Sounds simple enough, right? What's the point, you ask? The fact is when you walk in for an interview you're on foreign ground, their turf. This is an away game for you. Ask any sports team: it's always tough to win on the road.
But when you stride into the company restroom and drop a huge deuce, you have essentially turned the tables. At this point, you subconsciously feel like you own the place. You relax, you let your guard down. When you get back to reception feeling right at home, you start to wonder if the lobby furniture actually might be yours. And as we all know, the more yourself you are, the more relaxed and confident you are, the better you do on your interviews.
I am absolutely serious about this, by the way. I tried to present it in kind of a funny way, but that's not to say it doesn't work like a charm every time. Just make sure you're not trailing any TP from your shoe.
Mod Note: Best of WSO, this was originally posted December 2013
You're a genius. I recommend making some grunting noises while you're dropping the Deuce McAllister.
Seriously, I'm going to do this the next interview I have. May need to get there 25 minutes early, though. Banana for you.
Sitting on the sh1tter right now. 10 minutes late and owning this place. Just wanted to make sure my instincts on this werent off base
I can see some risks attached to that:
1) What if it turns into a sloppy shit. Then you really have problems. 15 minutes just may not give you enough time to deal with that sort of thing. 2) The double-shit. You finish shitting, whipe, finally get your tie fixed and shirt tucked in, belt done, and realize, I have to continue shitting. You can't say you've never experienced it, and again, serious time crunch.
Not saying it doesn't sound like a good plan. But you better hope it goes smoothly.
1) whipe??? WTF is a whipe 2) to avoid a sloppy shit, you do not shit for the previous 3 days. yes, this sounds grueling, but will ensure that your deuce makes a bowl entry that will echo throughout the entire building, rattling the plumbing structure to the core and sending the message to everyone that you have arrived. it will also be a ghost poop with 99% probability requiring no whiping (sic) which will save time in case the aforementioned "double-shit" occurs 3) you are correct in the assertion that you have no defense against the double-shit. if you believe in a god, pray. otherwise, build in an extra 10-15 minutes to account for the possibility of this
The upper decker is a win-win for you, either you get an offer and you're happy OR you get rejected and you got those fuckers good
I was actually introduced to the process while interviewing at Goldman. After stashing my topcoat in the secret behind-the-wall closet, the receptionist gave me the code for the men's room and told me to take my time - clearly she wanted me to go in and pinch a loaf.
No one came in while I was making the shit, but I feel like this would be an ultimate success if your interviewer happened to come in to take a piss at the same time while you're dropping a burly deuce. That way, as he was washing his hands at the sink, he would be able to see you in the mirror as you emerge victorious from the stall and begin to urinate around the perimeter of the restroom.
He would stand helpless, realizing that he just released his urine into the toilet and has no way to combat the territory-marking that you have just done. Shaking his head in disappointment, he would exit the restroom knowing that he was just pwn3d by some random guy he's never seen before. Upon finding out that you are in fact the interviewee, his subconscious primal realization will be that you are in fact the alpha male, and he is in no place to deny you the job you seek.
this is absolutely, by far, THE worst interview advice i have EVER come across. why don't you just take a shit on the MD's desk then. what do you think the receptionist, recruiting coordinator, and possibly your first interviewer will be wondering while they look at their watch 15 minutes after you've gone into the bathroom? what, subsequently, do you think they will think when you finally emerge, with your shirt half untucked and pants wrinkled, and extend your hand for the very first handshake?
^^^n00b
Your post shows your tremendous ignorance of proper interview practices, as well as life in general. I would also strongly recommend reading the bestselling children's book "Everybody Poops".
We also made a few key assumptions that, as indicated by your post, you must be the exception to:
1) The receptionist, recruiting coordinator, and interviewer have read and are familiar with the book "Everybody Poops" 2) The interviewee has been properly trained on how to fully tuck in a shirt after taking a shit. It is inherently a very similar process to tucking in a shirt while getting dressed 3) The interviewee is wearing one if his nicer suits to the interview. Such suit will not receive pants wrinklage from sitting on the toilet unless purchased at Men's Warehouse 4) Post-shit, the interviewee washes his hands
You are a nasty, nasty person. How dare you not wash your hands after you poop.
Corollary: Don't wash your hands after you take the shit. That way, once you shake the MD's hand and he starts eating his sandwich snack, you'll practically own his intestines as well.