Cold Email critique
Hey, just wanted some feedback on my cold email, if I should add/subtract anything. Just for some context, I just finished my 1st year at a non-target school and I am currently interning at a regional boutique investment bank for the summer. Do yall recommend I add a line about my relevant experiences, or is that not necessary?
Hi Name,
I hope this note finds you well. My name is XXXXX and I am currently a freshman pursuing my BBA at Non-Target College and I am interested in a career in Investment Banking.
I was wondering whether you would be available to spare a few minutes of your time to share some career advice, it’d be much appreciated. I know you must be extremely busy, but I’m very flexible with my schedule and will do my best to work around yours.
If you don’t have the time now, please don’t hesitate to let me know. I completely understand and will be grateful either way.
Thanks in advance for your help, Mr./Ms. {Last}. I look forward to hearing from you.
Best,
[Your Name]
I’d remove this. The rest looks good.
I just finished my 1st year so take this with a grain of salt, but I have had a large # of coffee chats this year.
I always include a sentence for why I'm reaching out to them (examples: I saw you were an alumni, I saw we both grew up in Texas, I saw you and I are both brothers of X fraternity). This gives them a reason to respond back.
Get rid of the "spare a few minutes of your time... I know you must be extremely busy" part, and replace with something stronger. This is direct from my email template: "Do you have time this week/next week for a quick informational interview? I'm typically free from Xam-Xpm central MWF, but can make myself available outside of those windows".
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