I have found over the years that people have a misconception about networking. Many people think that networking is a set event that you attend. Unfortunately, b-schools perpetuate this myth by holding...wait for it...networking events where the entire night is to mingle and meet people.
These events are GREAT for extroverts like me that thrive on meeting new people, making small talk and generally having a whole bunch of external stimulation. My friends that are introverted HATE these designed events and often wondered how they could ever stand out.
After slogging through years and years of manufactured networking events I have learned that the vast majority of actual networking takes place FAR, FAR, FAR away from these events.
Repeat after me: Networking is not an event, it is your life.
The key to being a good networker is to be consistent.
The point of building your network is to create a web of people that you can call on to help you solve a problem, get a job, introduce you to someone, etc. And in return you serve that role in reverse. What happens when someone in your network ends up not being what you thought they were?
You don't trust them anymore!
As an example a person in my network knows several people in an industry that one of my clients is entering. I don't know anyone in that industry so I got to a gate keeper at a firm and dropped my contacts name as a referral source. I instantly knew that I wasn't going to get a meeting when I saw the look on the gate keeper's face.
My contact had apparently burned bridges all over town with some past deals and now I was at risk for being poisoned by association. NOT a good situation!
You are building your network with every email, every coffee, every interaction with anyone you meet. You MUST be consistent. Answer emails promptly, be courteous to gate keepers, assistants, janitors, drivers, etc, always look for ways to be helpful, anticipate the needs of others, and deliver high quality work EVERYTIME.
Meeting someone at a networking event is great and I have made several great connections through those methods. The strongest connections I have are the ones that have a big problem they need fixed and they instantly think of my name, not because I passed them a card at a conference, but because they know I will deliver every single time they call.
I know it sucks when your MD calls you at 10pm after they just had a fun evening out with changes for a pitchbook. Making copies of yet another tax return isn't anyone's favorite way to spend a Friday night. But THIS is how you build your network.
Yes, you still have to go to all those fake events and drink crappy coffee and well drinks, but don't forget that the way you live your life will build a bigger and more importantly STRONGER network than any speed dating business card swapping event you can ever attend.
