Depressed and missed recruiting...terrible grades...how to turn it all around?
Hi,
I'm a student at a target school who's feeling a bit lost.
In high school I was the textbook prodigy, as most of us probably were. In college, however, I went through some tough experiences, and I ended up getting shitty grades for a solid two years. The third year I got diagnosed with ADD and started taking Adderall, so my grades finally rose again. It really helped me at least stop feeling suicidal, but I still wasn't on top of my game like I was in high school.
I haven't even had a moment to think about my dreams, because I've been in this weird montage of blurry days for as long as I can remember. I finally spent time with my family recently, however, and it really brought me down to earth. I started doing more research about industries, and discovered I'm really interested in real estate and banking. I built some models and wrote some reports just for the hell of it, and I also started finding some interesting finance Youtubers who were into building simulations.
I think it'd be really fun to intern on Wall Street this summer, particularly in investment banking, since that'll be the scene. Here's the problem- I only really have intelligence. I don't have performance (my grades look pretty rough on paper because I barely went to class half the time) and I can't really position myself as responsible, since after all I missed recruiting season. I know a lot of people would say this industry isn't for me. They're probably right, but I feel like I need to get a taste just to see what it's like. I'm kind of an existentialist (cringy but whatever) and some part of me feels like I'm obligated to try my hardest at securing this experience for myself.
I feel like most of the banks already hired, and I don't know what story to tell recruiters. I thought about mentioning the ADD but that just feels a bit slimey...like I'm trying to exploit my problems to evade responsibility. Also, I worry that employers would discriminate against me if I disclosed, so I don't really wanna air my dirty laundry. Most of the networking sessions on campus are for sophomores now...which is just a tad excruciating. A lot of people would say it's over, and that's the official story, but I can't shake the feeling that if I play my cards right and someone wants to get me in there, they'll find a way.
So....it's March and I want to do Wall Street. How can I pull it off?
Not to be rude, but I don't think this site is going to solve your problems. For one, if you're suicidal then I encourage you to seek outside professional help - but if you're suicidal over "missing the boat on banks that have already hired" then I think there's a far different problem at hand.
Quit feeling bad for yourself, you're at a target school with an abundance of resources. Go anywhere on this site and read the countless stories of kids in your shoes who were at non-targets or even homeless (in one case) and hustled their way in. You've got a mountain of connections just by being at the school you're at.
Secondly, your rationale for going to "Wall Street" can't be that it'd be "really fun" or "I only have intelligence." Ever read about any deals? Have an entrepreneurial interest in helping businesses grow? Does any sector interest you? The markets? Investment banking and the like aren't the sorts of industries you waltz into - my own experience --> I was a non-target kid who grinded and did 4 different IB/HF internships before securing an SA spot this upcoming summer. I knew my story cold as to why I wanted to do IB and had no doubts that I was sure I wanted to do it.
Missing the boat isn't "excruciating." If you really want it, I trust that you'll get it. Don't sit around pouting "woe is me" because you had a tough assimilation to college. I don't know you and I hate to make the judgment call based on the vague details you provided about your personal story, but having ADD isn't an excuse especially being at a target school as to why you didn't get into investment banking. I may catch some MS for this reply and I honestly hope you're posting as a troll but I'd imagine that most actual bankers (and not just me, an incoming intern) would feel similarly in that you need to work a hell of a lot harder.
Best of luck.
currentlydrinkingcoffee
I'm not going to bother re-hashing the advice others will undoubtedly give you (network, boutique, etc.). Instead I'll offer you a dose of reality I wish I had when I was in a similar position to yours:
Dude. The professional world doesn't care one iota about any of this self-indulgent navel gazing or the rationalizations you can offer regarding your problems. In my career I have seen people ask for coverage to attend the funerals of their family members and get the response "sorry, that's terrible but I'm too busy to cover". You think your sob story has a stronger claim to the sympathy of random strangers?
You missed the boat on recruiting by dint of your own inattention to it. You don't have the pedigree to cut it against the competition. Do you seriously think you have a shot right now against all the kids that have been preparing for this since before freshman year, just because you're smart (but not applied), and you want it real bad? There is one thing that matters for FT hiring, and it is whether you have a previous internship. Short of that, you're running against the odds even with an otherwise stellar CV.
Let me tell you what a low level HR person at a lower tier bank once told me to my face when I finally got my resume in front of her by way of networking with an MD:
"Good SAT scores. Good school, but not great. Low GPA.To be honest with you, if x hadn't asked my boss to look at this, I would've thrown your resume in the trash. I can't put your resume in front of the other MDs with my other candidates because it will ruin my credibility."
And then she made some pleasantries about seeing if she could find a way to help me. I followed up, and I never heard back. And that's how the story ends. My credentials at the time were far stronger than yours, and with a much stronger track record behind it.
The long and short of it is that the path you think you want is characterized by brutal competition. I don't want to be a downer, but you should honestly examine whether you're indulging yourself in wishful thinking about your chances. In my experience, that will only result in dejection, and it will feel excruciating and undignified for as long as you choose to continue banging your head against a wall. Unless you really have the humbleness that requires, probably better to bite the bullet, accept your failures, and chart a realistic path that will likely take several years and several thousands of dollars to pursue.
On a totally separate note, I'd be very cautious about even intimating that ADD is responsible for this. Every time you try to blame your faults on some fiat like a medical condition, you are effectively wagering that the gatekeepers who are judging you haven't experienced worse themselves. Because if they have, they will immediately auto-ding you for not being able to hack it the way they did.
Edit: Looking at your post again, one sentence in particular sticks out. “I can’t shake the feeling that if I play my cards right and someone wants to get me in, they can make it happen”. This is wrong, wrong, wrong and arrogant to boot. If your mother or father is a president or sheikh, you might be able to find some bank that will take you in as a way to curry favor with them. But assuming that you aren’t, you must never forget that you cannot bank on anyone else’s goodwill in business. If you are no use to the guy who you are trying to work for, you will be shunned. Getting some MD to have a coffee chat and pass along your resume is easy when you know how it’s done. Getting him or her to expend political capital in their organization in order to get their colleagues to hire some obviously subpar candidate they don’t know is nearly impossible, and often ends with a brief, frank, and degrading conversation about your unfitness for the role. Feel free to try, but this will likely lead you to a rude awakening about how the world really works and how easily things can be said, but not followed through on.
Don't do Wall Street, it's just not an atmosphere for people who think it would be "really fun to intern on Wall Street this summer." You're competing against very driven and single-minded individuals who put fun at the bottom of their boots and then stomp the life out of it during their internship. You're vastly underestimating how soul-crushing the job can be.
If you're really sharp, and a woman, go do Tech. You'll make lots of money, use your creativity, and you can basically walk into whatever company with a huge diversity recruitment edge and be as quirky or moody as you want to be, and get hired.
What are the experiences you went through -- obviously don't divulge anything you don't want, but context could be useful here.
I believe your current situation is much less of a negative than your lack of desire for the position. All the missteps you've made are ones that others have too, the difference is they wanted it more than you. This life isn't something they wanted to "try out." It was their lifes single obsession until they met there goal. If a wallstreet career isn't something you want this badly then I suggest you seek elsewhere because belive me, there is an army of kids behind you who want it more than anything else in this world.