...that I have a 14 inch wang?
I've tried putting it in different places on my resume, but I don't want to come off as too cocky to the recruiters or human resources ladies. I used to put it next to my phone number, but all of the human resources ladies would end up stealing my resume and calling me on the weekends. Granted, it was nice feeling their heart beat on the tip of my wang as I ravaged their internal organs, but I never got interviews.
I even modified the Skills, Activities, and Interests section of my resume to be the Skills, Activities, Penis Girth/Length, and Interests section, but then I wasn't getting interviews or phone calls from human resources ladies...lose lose. One BB recruiter told me it was because it wasn't in the template format from Mergers and Inquisitions so I changed it back.
Next, I experimented with putting it in my cover letter. I would write something like "Given my capabilities, I am able to work long 14 inch days in both your back office and front office. I understand how important it is to go hard and enjoy sharing face time with my colleagues". Most replies to my cover letter would be from people asking if I was related to some guy named jeffrey chiang and if my 14 inch days had anything to do with a 5K marathon. I had some phone interviews but never got to superdays.
My last ditch effort was to camouflage the dimensions of my burly penis as an SAT score under the Education section. It looked something like this:
SAT: Math 14 inchpenis CR 11inchesaround
I also attempted this same technique, substituting length for major GPA and girth for overall GPA, but each time I would get dinged because my SAT/GPA didn't meet the minimum requirements. I just wish I could say WELL WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT MY MONSTER COCK!? I'm literally about to go crazy guys and I know I'm probably the only one with this problem but I really need your help!
Any ideas?
fucking great post +1
loved the intro. and the Asian chemistry kids studying next to me found it funny though they only speak in half-lives
Its generally frowned upon in the corporate world (at least at the junior level) to submit resumes that are longer than 1 page but in this case it probably warrants an additional page, which would include a photocopy or a hand-drawn version of your massive cock with a footnote: ACTUAL SIZE.
You may have a tough time getting interviewed at BBs as the few BSDs that remain in IB may be intimidated by your superior girth.
Well, you'd have to get some extra large sized paper to do so as well. This may be even more advantageous, it will stand out of a stack of regular sized resumes
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