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I wouldn't reply to an email like this because it looks like you need too much coaching. This is poor writing, adherence to a business formal format is recommended.

  • Run this through a gen-AI platform and ask it to correct your grammar.
  • You never know how your email will be perceived. Everything in parenthesis is unnecessary.
  • Remove the reference to "first-generation", it is fine to discuss but don't make it the focus of your personality in an introduction.
  • Try to mention something interesting about the recipient
 

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