Sales and Trading Cover Letter Overhaul

I'm working in Underwriting right now and after this term will be entering my fourth year at a Canadian University where I study Finance.

I'm aiming for a Sales and Trading position for my final coop term that will be taking place over summer 2018 halfway through my final year.

Here's the CV I'm thinking of using (to all the big 5 Canadian Banks) and would appreciate any and all comments. Please tear me apart

Dear Hiring Manager: My previous work experience in complementary financial positions [Sales Associate, Gov of Canada Analyst, Insurance Underwriter) coupled with education at [Canadian Uni] and an academic exchange abroad in Europe, makes me the ideal candidate for [Bank Department Name] where I will bring my skill set to the desk and develop strategies to set [bank name] above its competitors.

Working in finance with a background in customer service and sales leads me to be a very motivated, passionate, results driven individual. I regularly perform high-level financial valuations and analyses, for an array of reports/data that enables companies I’ve worked for to achieve remarkable results. Co-authoring the [a report on Canadian Aerospace that all gov bodies now use for reference] for [gov of canada dept] was an example of a report I worked on. Working at [Insurance firm on TO's Bay St] I evaluate incoming requests for insurance coverage and produce quotes via Excel models that fit further risk management models, I also conduct meta-analysis using various data science solutions on the department's performance and give internal as well as external presentations.

I have taken an array of courses in Finance, Marketing, Accounting, HR, Information Technology and Languages that compliment my work experience. In addition I have become proficient in derivatives theory and application and keep up to date with global markets of various asset classes on a daily basis.

Studying and living abroad for a semester has enabled me to approach problems from a global approach, seeing more than one perspective to resolving and working on projects. My leadership, adaptability and communication skills are those that have been most improved by this experience.

My experience and education, commitment to personal and professional excellence, and fluent written and oral communication skills in both of Canada’s official languages, as well as advanced further language knowledge and finance expertise ensures that I am the perfect match for this prestigious position.

If you have questions, please contact me by e-mail at Email or phone [phone]. Thank you for your time, I look forward to further discussing this position with you.

Have at it ;)