(serious) can't shake shitty feeling from not working at a T1 bank
I apologize in advance if this sounds like a really stupid problem to have, but I'm someone who is super competitive and conscious of clout and I know comparison is the thief of joy, but I can't help but feel shitty that I'm at a "mid tier bank" (think BAML/CS/Citi/Gugg/Greenhill) instead of a "tier 1a/1b" bulge/boutique (GS/MS/JPM, PJT/PWP/LAZ/MOE etc) I graduated from a target and seeing friends at these places kills me inside. Any tips on how to handle? I've tried just focusing my attention on other things/meditating, etc but not really working out. Thanks guys for all the support
So let me get this straight. You went to a target. Got a great job making more than 90% of your peers and are also leaving banking in a few months to go to the buyside and the biggest problem in your life is that some prospects on wso didn't put your firm high enough in their 100% empirical scientific rankings on 'prestige'? You need to get some perspective man...
no judgment here - just cause something may seem completely illogical to someone else doesn’t change the way that you feel. everyone’s got their own demons.
but I would say negative feelings are all in the mentality and how you look at things. I had a mentor tell me that if you only look for the bad things that’s all you’ll ever see. everyday at work make a deliberate effort to find one thing you learned/did better and one thing you’re grateful for. also make a deliberate effort to look at someone who has it worse than you and actually say to yourself “wow I’ve got it pretty good.” that dude from non-target who worked his ass off for a no-name tiny ass bank and just got laid off cause of covid def has it worse right now.
also a blanket recommendation I routinely give out to people who are down on things: read Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. it’s a pretty quick read and really makes you reevaluate how you perceive hardship.
I think a good thing to do when you get yourself into a mental hole like this is the "why" exercise. Most of the times, the things that bother us are not the root cause of our irritation, and trying to solve one manifestation of it isn't going to change the general dissatisfaction. For instance, in this case, your "why's" could look something like this :
...and on it goes. Ultimately, feelings of inferiority due to external factors can come from everything from your career to your future house to the clothing you wear. If you don't adress the actual root of the issue, it's just going to continue to present itself in different scenarios.
Imagine: You grew up in a middle class family with both parents working in respectable industries. You tried harder in college than most of your friends and get a job at a “mid tier bank” making more money than your parents ever thought was possible at your age. You go into the office early on your first day to make a good impression, and then you meet this guy.