Why Am I so Sad?

I think what would be most important to your parents is that you are happy (considering your happiness doesn’t come from being a piece of shit) then your career behind that. Focus on getting that good job but remember your parents would probably rather have you less wealthy and happy than rich and sad

keep pushing and never give up! 

let me share a success story. 

a mentor of mine came from a rural town, was a special needs student, had abusive parents, came from poverty, and a broken family life. with no money and lackluster HS grades, he went to community college, worked hard, and transferred to a t20 target school, where he was able to graduate with 0 loans bc of need based finaid. worked hard there and placed well, but then he hit roadblocks. for example, coming from the background he did, he knew nothing about finance before going to college, so his early IBD/PE interviews were massive disasters, with a GS VP even going as far as to discourage him from going into finance. 

brushing off those failures, he worked hard to place SA at a EB/BB, but did not get the FT offer from his junior yr SA IB firm, and had to start elsewhere after college, a complete no-name LMM boutique, before lateralling to an EB.

going from IB --> PE, he did not place where he wanted and took some time off to reflect, before trying again and placing at a UMM PE firm. he's now looking to go to a SM HF (Tiger Cub/Baupost/Farallon/Activist/etc.), and the man's resilience and character are absolutely admirable and god level traits. honestly, I think it's people like him who will go on to do great things in life and be there to help others in need when they face similar struggles. have an insane amount of respect for said person. 

ik for a fact that he suffers from severe ptsd (to be real, no one walks away from that kind of shitty ass upbringing and becomes a "normal person" by wall street standards), but he counters it by getting involved in and donating to NYC organizations that try to solve child abuse and poverty issues. even with his demanding work schedule and many roadblocks he faced, he still powers through them like the terminator and makes time to get involved in things that matter to him. this guy is my superhero and i seriously hope he runs wall street one day.

none of the above would have been possible if he didn't work as hard as he did, pushing through his early career failures, and even when he did not get the FT offer from his junior yr IB shop, he still persevered to start elsewhere and lateral somewhere better. he does often joke that at his junior yr EB/BB, he was a bottom bucket intern who made many careless mistakes, but never let any of it get to his head or heart.

ps. he’s getting married soon, and IMO, anyone would truly be lucky to call him “dad”.

 Do your an incoming sophomore…tf? 

Sorry to say, but your life is over. Your only options now are to either commit honorable sepuku, or become a KPMG auditor.